My feed

to access all these features


To get upset at husband for his past

178 replies

Pep89 · 15/12/2019 19:41

I'm almost certain I am being unreasonable here but, even knowing that, I still feel upset and I'm not even sure why.

My husband and I were chatting after bedroom time and I said that I'd maybe want to try something in the near future and, even though we've talked about this certain thing before, this time he told me that he had done it with a previous girlfriend. We've been together for 10 years and I feel almost betrayed even though this happened before he even knew me. I don't know if I'm jealous or upset that he's only just told me. I just know that I'm upset about it and I don't know why?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

NeverMindTheBuzzards · 15/12/2019 20:58

Is bedroom time like Chico time?

MrsRipper · 15/12/2019 21:01

What is this act that you have spent 10 years building up the courage to ask about? Pegging? Space Docking? A Squat Cobble?

Bluerussian · 15/12/2019 21:01

It strikes me that your partner may not have liked doing whatever it is you suggested trying which is why he has never suggested it to you in ten years.

TryingToBeBold · 15/12/2019 21:01

It's definitely anal!

My ex and me had one of the worst arguments to date because through a game of "I have never". (10+ years ago!), he found out I'd had a threesome.
Big deal. But it made him strangely insecure and jealous.

Andypromqueen · 15/12/2019 21:02

It is never, ever ever ever ever never never and i repeat NEVER a good idea to talk about sex with a previous partner. Even if it’s just a casual mentioning of having done something with a previous partner that they haven’t done with you.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together - it will instantly conjure up images of your beloved having steamy sex with another lover - not nice.
And it also smacks of “well Sue/Barbara/Trevor did it - why can’t you?”. You know, trying to make you feel inferior if YOU don’t do “the thing” (I’m thinking it’s anal too!)

Thetellyisjelly · 15/12/2019 21:02

Bedroom time is time for seeing ALL the wonders of the world, for sure.
And if he’s already seen the pyramids ...
There’s plenty more to try ;)

puds11 · 15/12/2019 21:04

Well @MrsRipper I’ve learned something new Shock

Frosty26827 · 15/12/2019 21:04

OP I understand what you’re saying, you love DH and it’s hard to think of him having a past with someone else .... you want everything to be a “first” with you and it hurts when it isn’t. Probably best not to share with each other things that happened before you met, we all have have a past but what matters is now. Flowers

TryingToBeBold · 15/12/2019 21:05

@Thetellyisjelly like the Spyhnxs'
Grin Grin Grin
Couldn't help myself

Thetellyisjelly · 15/12/2019 21:07

Mines getting the hanging gardens of Babylon ;) 😂

GrannyBags · 15/12/2019 21:07

If you asked about whatever it is and he denied it then you have the right to be annoyed. If you just talked about it in general terms then you are being unreasonable. I’m guessing you both had a past before you met? Have you told him everything?

TryingToBeBold · 15/12/2019 21:09


Pyramids are sharp, pointy, sandy and overrated Wink

ChongADong · 15/12/2019 21:09

Bloody christ my DH has been married before and has 4 kids, don't know how you'd cope with that!
It's definitely pegging Wink

StCharlotte · 15/12/2019 21:09

Bedroom time is time for seeing ALL the wonders of the world, for sure.

Suddenly puts the Hanging Gardens of Babylon into a whole new light.

(I prefer the term "married cuddles" myself)

Garlicinyoursoul · 15/12/2019 21:10

@MrsRipper - I had to google the last two.
Oh my God, thats cheered me right up! Grin

hauntedvagina · 15/12/2019 21:10


Mines getting the hanging gardens of Babylon ;)

This is what I offered my husband when I had post pregnancy piles Wink

Casander · 15/12/2019 21:11

You aren't missing out on anything by not seeing the pyramids OP, totally overrated and a bit ouchy

Aderyn19 · 15/12/2019 21:12

I think it's the dishonesty that's the problem. Not the doing, but giving the impression all these years that he hadn't. It makes a person feel unsettled.

Thetellyisjelly · 15/12/2019 21:12

@hauntedvagina Grin
Well at least you offered Grin

Icantstopfuckingcoughing · 15/12/2019 21:15

YABU. My husband often has a go at me for stuff I did with past boyfriends that I hadn’t done with him as if I can change the past.

YABU and twatty. Get a grip.

GeePipe · 15/12/2019 21:16

The pyramid analogy is amazing haha. Yabu op sooo unreasonable but i totally get it. I used to be so laid back until i met dp and a lot of stuff with his ex and mother of his child omgoing has me super insecure. Hes also shagged over 40 people before we met so i do feel weirdly jealous when i find out he experienced things with other people. Irrational yes but oddly understandable.

GeePipe · 15/12/2019 21:17

Ps hauntedvagina amazing username Grin also a very odd book lol

iceymonkey · 15/12/2019 21:18

This thread is hilarious!

I doubt the OP is going to tell us what "the thing" is though :(

FoamingAtTheUterus · 15/12/2019 21:21

Bedroom time is as bad as 'rubbing him sweetly' >

Other than that you need to grow up. 💁🏻‍♀️

DuchessofManchester · 15/12/2019 21:27

Why did I just Google space docking...and how do I clear my search history?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.