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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas

830 replies

Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:35

As it says in the title
DH refusing to have my grandparents for xmas dinner, says he cant stand to have xmas dinner with them as they shared with us yesterday that they voted tory , we are both very left wing and have always voted labour
Not only does he not want to have xmas dinner with them he doesn't want to socialise at all with them.
What can I do ? Grandfather is very political so this topic will be brought up
Dh says he cant stand the selfish old bastards and doesn't want to know them

OP posts:
Span1elsRock · 14/12/2019 23:37

Tell him to grow the fuck up.

I'd rather be a Conservative than a petulant man child who would leave old people on their own on Christmas day.

bridgetreilly · 14/12/2019 23:37

HIBU. They are still your grandparents. But you do have to have an agreement not to bring it up and how you will deal with it when your grandfather tries to.

FriedasCarLoad · 14/12/2019 23:37

I think it’d be reasonable to insist that there’s no discussion of politics.

But it’s awful to not invite them.

Original poster
Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:38

Sorry I forgot to add the AIBU part is to uninvite them to keep the peace , DH says he will only attend their funerals now once the time comes but no further effort will be made

OP posts:
Original poster
Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:39

Span1 they wouldnt be alone they would be together

OP posts:
fligglepige · 14/12/2019 23:39

Your DH sounds absolutely awful.

Sandaled · 14/12/2019 23:39

Wow he is expecting you to limit contact with your parents whilst he is around until their funerals because they have a difference of political opinion, and you have to ask if he is being unreasonable?

dirtyrottenscoundrel · 14/12/2019 23:39

Your husband sounds like a right arse tbh.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/12/2019 23:39

Old doesn't mean fragile. If they brought it up I would debate with them.

Surely they expect it in your house 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't cut them out because of it but it really depends how unsavoury some of the views are - it it's accompanied by racist views/sexist views/anti poor people rants then I would have to think harder.

But if they're Heseltines then they just about pass for a sprout

Blitzen2 · 14/12/2019 23:39

Is there a particular reason he feels so strongly about this?

Sandaled · 14/12/2019 23:40

Grandparents*

partysong · 14/12/2019 23:40

Oh the irony of him thinking they are selfish Hmm

Cheeseboardcriminal · 14/12/2019 23:40

He is behaving like a spoilt child. I would invite them but make it clear politics is off the table and no discussion is to take place.

Cherrysoup · 14/12/2019 23:41

Your dh sounds like an idiot. Have a no politics rule, tell your gps in advance.

Original poster
Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:41

Yeah they have very extreme views about poverty, apparently if you are homeless it's your own fault ! They are in no way frail , the opposite very outspoken
Husband is the most kind loving man and to be honest he just cant abide their views

OP posts:
jakeyboy1 · 14/12/2019 23:41

Is he going to stop speaking to about half the country then? Friends, colleagues, customers? Idiot.

PreseaCombatir · 14/12/2019 23:41

Why bother saying he’d go to their funeral if he doesn’t want anything to do with them now?
He sounds emotional and childish

Pumpkintopf · 14/12/2019 23:42

Could you not just ban the usual topics - politics, religion and money - for the duration?

LexMitior · 14/12/2019 23:42

Well it’s incredibly bad manners to discuss politics as a guest in someone’s house. Even worse if you know they disagree.

Can grandfather keep quiet? Most people with manners should. Your DH is wrong but why should he have to lock horns with someone who doesn’t like his politics and is a guest in his house?

Original poster
Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:42

I was thinking a no politics rule I suggested that but DH just said it wont last and he doesn't want our xmas day ruining by them

OP posts:
PreseaCombatir · 14/12/2019 23:43

Surely if they are so outspoken, he would have long known they were Tory voters?
It doesn’t make sense...

ginrummy1 · 14/12/2019 23:43

I despise what the tories stand for but your DH sounds absolutely awful.
How can a kind man be happy to put you in this position?

Wilmalovescake · 14/12/2019 23:44

Wow.
Did you realise you’d married a dickhead?

DappledThings · 14/12/2019 23:44

We never see DH's leave-voting, Tory grandmother more than about once every 3 years. We call her Racist Nan in discussion about her and have no interest in the views she spreads on Facebook.

There's a funny song about this by Johnny and the Baptists about grandparents being refused access to their grandchildren because they read the Daily Mail.

We are seeing Racist Nan this Christmas. We both have our Remain tshirts ready to wear without further comment.

Fraggling · 14/12/2019 23:44

Do you usually invite them?

Unspoken rule in UK (or at least my bit of England) is to avoid politics and religion as conversation topics.

I am v political and athiest but manage family events with people who think otherwise!

The comment he made about them dying is past any line I can think of though, that's awful.

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