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AIBU?

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Original poster

He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas

830 replies

Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:35

As it says in the title
DH refusing to have my grandparents for xmas dinner, says he cant stand to have xmas dinner with them as they shared with us yesterday that they voted tory , we are both very left wing and have always voted labour
Not only does he not want to have xmas dinner with them he doesn't want to socialise at all with them.
What can I do ? Grandfather is very political so this topic will be brought up
Dh says he cant stand the selfish old bastards and doesn't want to know them

OP posts:
OhioOhioOhio · 14/12/2019 23:44

Reckon your grandparents will be lucky to not have to see him.

itgetshardereveryday · 14/12/2019 23:44

Your husband is not kind, he's a dickhead.

Original poster
Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:45

Lex you have hit the nail on the head
They are incredibly wealthy through good fortune and both have never really worked
One comment from grandmother last year was for example the Iceland advert came on telly about turkeys crowns being half price and she burst into fits of laughter that people would actually do an xmas dinner shop at Iceland, they dont live in the real world

OP posts:
ButterflyBook · 14/12/2019 23:45

Of course he is being unreasonable. Why does he get the deciding vote? Is it his house? It would put me off him tbh. I wouldn't want to spend the day with him.

chomalungma · 14/12/2019 23:45

It could be worse.

Imagine you are the Johnson family at Christmas.

elmosducks · 14/12/2019 23:45

Surely if they are outspoken it can't be a surprise?

My DH is currently saying we can never even go back to the UK to visit, but he will calm down. My Brexit supporting daily mail loving parents arrive next week, we will all make an effort to not mention anything and to just get along.

It's done now, nothing to be gained by making an issue of it now.

katy1213 · 14/12/2019 23:45

Tell him you'll make up a plate for him and he can eat on his own in the kitchen.
How come you don't hear of Tories refusing to socialise with those who vote Labour?

arethereanyleftatall · 14/12/2019 23:45

But he isn't kind and loving is he? He's neither being kind nor loving to your own family.

CendrillonSings · 14/12/2019 23:46

And you wonder why Labour lost by a landslide! Grin

Darkbendis · 14/12/2019 23:46

No one votes Tory in our family/DH's family. However, if I were in your position I would socialize with them as long as we don't discuss politics during the Xmas day.

chomalungma · 14/12/2019 23:47

My Brexit supporting daily mail loving parents arrive next week, we will all make an effort to not mention anything and to just get along

When DF was up, he likes to get a paper. I begrudgingly got him the Daily Mail from the shop. All I can say about is that it has a good TV guide and crossword.

Original poster
Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:47

Are there any left - they are not his family they are mine
Gonna speak to him.about it tomorrow and see what he says

OP posts:
sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 14/12/2019 23:48

Let me guess - they're of the 'don't have children you can't afford' mentality? Because no one ever experiences a change in circumstances, right?

How nasty are things likely to turn? Because I have to say if someone started that kind of crap in my house I'd be on my feet and ordering them to never darken my doorstep again.

Hoolahlah66 · 14/12/2019 23:49

I think people need to chill the fuck out about politics. Everyone and his wife has decided they are a politician in recent years and actually it’s all bollocks. Tell your DH to grow up and suck it up, it’s family. Whilst you may not all agree with each other about lots of things, without them you wouldn’t be here. There is FAR more to life than politics. I’m so tired of the mass hysteria around brexit and this election. It is a very important time in our history I fully understand that, and it will have a very detrimental result for lots but to cut people out of your lives for something you have no control over is nonsensical.

I fundamentally disagree with almost all of my parents political views but I wouldn’t dream of cutting them out. tell him to get some perspective. Sorry for the rant but it’s really pathetic, I’d be asking him to spend Christmas somewhere else. Merry Christmas and goodwill to all men and all that!

DappledThings · 14/12/2019 23:49

When DF was up, he likes to get a paper. I begrudgingly got him the Daily Mail from the shop

I refused to buy FIL the DM once. He usually gets the Telegraph but they didn't have any. DH agreed with me it wasnt coming into our house.

BrokenLogs · 14/12/2019 23:49

Well having read all your thread to this point OP, I think your dh is right.

They sound like total arseholes.

Original poster
Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:50

Sad eye yes this type
They laughed at the locals doing a shoebox collection for needy families as in their words 'they shouldn't spend their money on drugs and feed their kids '

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 14/12/2019 23:50

Tell your DH that you can't stand to have Christmas dinner with someone unable to comprehend people's democratic right to a free vote.
Suggest he goes elsewhere and invite your grandparents over.

mauvaisereputation · 14/12/2019 23:51

He is being horribly unreasonable. I honestly think that trying to lay down the law about you having your grandparents over for Christmas is ltb territory. Is he normally this controlling? How is he about your other family/friends?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 14/12/2019 23:51

I've got to see my brexit supporting MIL and her partner next week. Her partner is incredibly racist and there's always an argument. It's got to the point that we've had to say absolutely no politics or anything along those lines.

I can't stand the man and don't want to see him however he's with my partners Mum and he wants to see her and she won't come without him.

Your DH is being out of order. They do sound awful but you want them there.

Hazardexhausted · 14/12/2019 23:52

Respect to your DH.

I don't think it's a question of reasonable or unreasonable. Your fit, healthy and wealthy grandparents voted to cut off my DP's meds, leave homeless people on the streets and maintain the need for food banks. They might be lovely people outside of that but it's all rather fresh right now and your DH needs some space.

Let the man have his space and may be next year will be different.

chomalungma · 14/12/2019 23:52

Sometimes you just have to be quiet and let things wash over you.
There is a time and a place to get passionate about things.

It's worked for me with DF for years.

LunasOrchid · 14/12/2019 23:52

I don't blame your DH in the slightest. Your grandparents sound like spoilt, pompous pricks. I wouldn't want them in my house at Christmas either.

Pixxie7 · 14/12/2019 23:52

At the end of the day it’s your home and if he feels that they will ruin Christmas could you not compromise and take them out for a meal or something before Xmas instead?

Sandaled · 14/12/2019 23:52

If they're wealthy let's hope out of principle if they leave you anything he doesn't benefit from a penny of it if he can't be arsed with them.

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