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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if a neighbour takes a parcel in for you...

149 replies

Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 06:57

You go round and get it from them as soon as you are home? Or at least within a day?

Background:
I took in a parcel for my neighbours (flats) about a year back and a few days later I took another one in for them and over a week went by and they didn't come round for them. I went round with them a couple of times over the course of this time and they would come to the door, but not answer it. So I ended up leaving them a note (the person delivering had already done so) and it was another couple of days still till they came round for the parcels.

Anyway, 3 days ago I get a buzz at the door again - 'Very' delivery. I would have said no but I assumed it was for one of the closer neighbours and also the poor delivery women looked a bit frazzled. It's for them again. She put a note through their door to say where their parcel was. I knocked at their door last night (8ish) and again I think I heard someone but they never answered.

It's weird right? I mean I know it isn't a big deal but I often sleep days atm so if they come round during the day, they may be waking me up. Feel like just leaving the damn bag on their door handle haha. I wouldn't though obviously. Will stick a note through their door if they don't come/answer tomorrow.

But am I right in thinking that if a neighbour takes in a parcel for you, the norm is that you collect it asap?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 06:59

Sorry I realise ive asked it in two different ways so take it as:

AIBU to say that if you take in a neighbours parcel, they should collect it asap?

(no) Im not being unfair, that is normal.
(yes) im being unfair, they can collect it whenever

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 07:00

Lol oops nevermind it's not a yes no answer anyway.

OP posts:
Tobebythesea · 14/12/2019 07:04

My neighbours partner does this. He’s in but doesn’t answer the door. Weird.

I would give it a day and then if no luck put it on their door. I would then totally refuse any more deliveries.

I’m on mat leave at the minute and my neighbours know this. One of my neighbours keeps on getting a massive heavy box of dog food delivered on a monthly contract but are never in so it always goes to me. They never pick it up and I’ve had to drag it round. I refused it last month.

CocoLoco87 · 14/12/2019 07:05

YANBU especially if the delivery person left a note. We've taken in parcels for neighbours but they haven't always had a note to say this. We are on good terms though so always drop parcels round when we see the other person is in.

Original poster
Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 07:08

Sometimes I don't answer the door myself haha (usually as I'm not dressed) but never if it is someone I'm expecting. I mean, they know I have it so (and probably heard me going back to my flat) ...you'd think they could have just came round as soon as they were decent.

I have noticed that there is someone who comes and goes from the building who always whistles when he chaps a door. I think it might be them. Maybe they only answer the door if they hear the whistling. Hmmm....Criminals ...or social anxiety? Lol

OP posts:
Taddda · 14/12/2019 07:10

I could have written this! I did the same last year for a neighbour, 5 times over 3 days I knocked to deliver, left two notes, one on her actual door, still then she would collect her parcel (had two under two so like you needed to catch sleep at anytime so really just wanted her to collect the bloody thing).
It wasn't until my OH spotted her on her way out that we handed it to her- her response? 'How long have you had it, did they only deliver the one'? Not a thank you or an apology, even after explaining how many times we'd tried to deliver, left notes-
Arse.
When asked now I just say I can't

halloumi2019 · 14/12/2019 07:11

Going forward, you’ll have to decline to accept parcels for neighbours (or at the very least refuse this neighbour’s address) - regardless of how flustered the courier is!

I wouldn’t go round, either wait for them to pick it up or if it’s an inconvenience thing to keep in your house just leave it on their doorstep when you know they’re in.

MsAwesomeDragon · 14/12/2019 07:12

Occasionally it's not that easy. I had a parcel delivered the other day to a neighbour (despite the fact that the delivery label also identified a safe space to leave it!) And the card through my door didn't tell me which neighbour it was with, they'd put MY address on the card. I did then go round several neighbours looking for it, they were all very nice and wished me luck in finding it, but it would have been easier if I'd not had to disturb them at all (it was with the one set of neighbours that were out when I was knocking).

Yanbu as it is normal to collect your parcels promptly. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances, but it doesn't sound as if your neighbours have much of an excuse (they might do though, we just don't know)

Original poster
Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 07:14

Yeah it's friggin weird. Also it's a 'very' delivery so they would have known when it was due, perhaps even chosen the day/timeslot.

Thinking on it my buzzer goes on occasion too and no one ever comes to the door but often I hear nearby knocking so I wonder if they just don't answer their buzzer either.

OP posts:
Icecreambaby · 14/12/2019 07:16

Odd that they do not answer the door. However, sometimes the carrier does not even leave a card to let the recipient knows where the parcel is. I once ordered something heavy from overseas. Been waiting and don't know when it will arrive. Only when our neighbour saw us one day to tell us he has our parcel did we know it has arrived already. No card from carrier whatsoever.

KamikazeIdiot · 14/12/2019 07:17

The neighbours are probably mumsnetters, so they won't answer the door unless you've made an appointment.

Original poster
Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 07:18

Yeah, the carrier definitely said she would leave a note this time so...
guessing they just don't care :/

OP posts:
BlackCatSleeping · 14/12/2019 07:18

I don’t think it’s a big deal. Just leave it in your hall and give it to them when they come round for it, unless it is huge. My neighbor keeps quite different working hours from me, so it’s hard to see him.

Original poster
Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 07:20

It's not a big deal but it is still irksome to go to bed not knowing if they are going to knock the door to wake me. Especially considering the postie is already possibly going to wake me at some point.

OP posts:
Aridane · 14/12/2019 07:26

My neighbours partner does this. He’s in but doesn’t answer the door. Weird.

Ah - a mumsnetter!

NaughtyLittleElf · 14/12/2019 07:29

I would refuse them and maybe leave a note on your door saying the same if you're in bed. I was once forced out of my sick bed by someone banging on my door making the dog bark for a neighbours parcel I was very unimpressed and declined it because they also don't answer the door when DD takes their parcels over.

PixieDustt · 14/12/2019 07:34

Omg our old NDN's used to do this. Got to the point where I just refused to take anymore parcels for them.

queenqueenqueen · 14/12/2019 07:35

Leave them on the doorstep and in future say no if it's for them. Sorry but that's so rude

ivykaty44 · 14/12/2019 07:37

Just pop a note through the door advising you don’t mind taking in parcels but object to then bring it round and clearly someone’s is in but won’t answer the door to take the parcel

ShippingNews · 14/12/2019 07:37

Instead of going over and knocking on their door, I'd go and leave the parcel outside their door , knock, and leave.

Toomboom · 14/12/2019 07:39

I used to take parcels for a neighbour, and they were just like yours, they never came to collect it. In the end I refused to take in anymore.

Sondor · 14/12/2019 07:40

I would just leave it at their door. Particularly as you've already knocked on and they haven't answered.

Original poster
Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 07:46

I would leave it at their door but it is a flat and at the top of the first flight of stairs, with 4 more flights above it so anyone coming and going has to walk past it and might be tempted to lift it. And I don't want them coming round like 'where's my parcel?' and having to say I left it so someone else must have taken it.

There is a drying close I could leave it in and leave them a note to tell them, but it isn't my drying close so if someone locks the door for a change they wont be able to get it out. Still might do this though.

OP posts:
historyismything · 14/12/2019 07:50

We have had this! We have got a parcel for the people over the road (it isn't big, but that's not the point) we have knocked on but no answer. I'm sick of the sight of it so if they don't answer this time I will send it back. The worse thing is I have seen the partner, she works locally, so they know we are in.

I just find it odd because I always go and fetch our parcels if they are handed to a neighbour and apologise for the inconvenience

SarahNade · 14/12/2019 07:58

If you order something then why wouldn't you want to collect it? I don't understand. I said a couple of months back on here that in Australia, it is actually illegal to leave a parcel with anyone but the recipient named, unless a prior arrangement with the local post office has been made. Here, if you are not home, you get a card slipped in your mailbox stating that there is a parcel to be picked up at name of local post office and it can be picked up until such and such date. ID is required. To stop theft or fraud, only the person the parcel is for, is allowed to sign for and receive the parcel. The thought of me being out and my next door neighbours taking my parcel horrifies me. Why would anyone want to take that risk? I am surprised the UK allows this practice.