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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that if a neighbour takes a parcel in for you...

149 replies

Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 06:57

You go round and get it from them as soon as you are home? Or at least within a day?

Background:
I took in a parcel for my neighbours (flats) about a year back and a few days later I took another one in for them and over a week went by and they didn't come round for them. I went round with them a couple of times over the course of this time and they would come to the door, but not answer it. So I ended up leaving them a note (the person delivering had already done so) and it was another couple of days still till they came round for the parcels.

Anyway, 3 days ago I get a buzz at the door again - 'Very' delivery. I would have said no but I assumed it was for one of the closer neighbours and also the poor delivery women looked a bit frazzled. It's for them again. She put a note through their door to say where their parcel was. I knocked at their door last night (8ish) and again I think I heard someone but they never answered.

It's weird right? I mean I know it isn't a big deal but I often sleep days atm so if they come round during the day, they may be waking me up. Feel like just leaving the damn bag on their door handle haha. I wouldn't though obviously. Will stick a note through their door if they don't come/answer tomorrow.

But am I right in thinking that if a neighbour takes in a parcel for you, the norm is that you collect it asap?

OP posts:

Drabarni · 14/12/2019 10:41

I stopped doing it tbh, people take the bloody piss.
I hate this attitude of ordering things knowing you'll be out, what's the point?

StanleyWalkersThirdWife · 14/12/2019 10:41

Not rtft but in future I'd just ask the postman who the delivery is for and then decide I'd you want to take it in or not.

Last week a neigh our who lives many doors down who weve not met before took a parcel in for us. As soon as we got home from work we knocked on the door to get it no answer. We went over to knock 2-3 times a day from thursday to Monday. No answer. Started to get pissed off. Dh worked from home one day and went over early in the morning and she finally answered. Turned out it was an d lady who lives on her own so she'd heard us knock all those times but didnt answer the door as she "doesn't like to open the door to people she doesn't know" which is fair enough if she doesnt feel comfortable but why on earth would you take a parcel in if that was the case!? We live in a naice area too

vassdal · 14/12/2019 10:48

I work from home and live in a block of flats with 7 flats. At some stage a couple of the delivery companies twigged on that I was at home all day and they'd get an answer so instead of evening trying other people's doors they'd just knock at mine. One day the bloke tried to deliver a parcel to the people downstairs saying they weren't in. I could hear them moving around downstairs so I told him to go and knock at theirs. Of he went...
After that I started to refuse all parcels because I realized the delivery drivers weren't even trying to deliver to the correct neighbour and it was actually becoming a nuisance having to break off working at least 2 or 3 times a day to go to the door and deal with someone else's parcel and then having to deliver it to the correct person later in the evening. It only took a week or so for all delivery drivers to stop knocking at my door. I've noticed they just dump the parcels at the entrance now.
Also I don't really trust one of the neighbours not to claim that I had stolen a parcel or broken something inside as they have form for this sort of thing (relating to insurance claims).

Just tell all couriers/drivers etc that you won't be taking any parcels in for any of the neighbours due to issues with them not collecting the parcel. And stick to it. The neighbours should be making their own arrangements if they can't be bothered to go round and collect from a neighbour or answer the door when you bring the parcel round.

Beautiful3 · 14/12/2019 10:58

I always go straight away and collect mine. No one wants other peoples parcels lying around the house. My neighbours usually collect the same day. Once i took in a parcel for a neighbour( from down the road), they ignored me when I knocked and eventually collected it 2 days later! I stopped taking them in for them now. As I dont have space for other peoples parcels. So I only do them for immediate neighbours. Although once my parcel had been left with different neighbours down the road without leaving me a card, so I never knew. They had it for a week and never bothered to tell me nor leave a note?! I was pissed off about that one.

Back2Bali · 14/12/2019 11:20

Stop taking their parcels in from now on not only are they being rude 1. Not asking if you mind taking in a parcel, 2. not answering when you knock and 3. Nit collecting... I always ask my neighboir if I can leave a note on the door saying to leave with them if I'm expecting something and wont be in and she always asks me ....even though we know the answer... it's just courtesy

scarbados · 14/12/2019 11:22

I used to be happy to take in parcels for neighbours until a very demanding young woman moved in next door. I took a parcel in for her then went round when I heard her arriving home. She didn't answer the door so I went back home with her parcel. 2 hours later I had to go out for a short time. As I got back she was at her door screaming at me that I shouldn't have gone out while I was 'in charge of' her property.

I never took in another parcel for her.

nokidshere · 14/12/2019 11:28

I work from home so my friends have their parcels sent to me when they are working. Most of the delivery drivers know I'm here now so also ask me to take parcels in for neighbours. I don't mind at all BUT if they don't collect in 48hrs I simply don't do it anymore. I would never go round to theirs with it. It's their responsibility not yours. Stop being a doormat and start refusing the parcels.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 14/12/2019 11:37

Don't understand why it just can't be left in the communal hallway with all the three mail? I live in flats and this is what we do. I hate having to chase up parcels with neighbours who are out or work opposite hours and I need to get a package. Even if a signature is required, I sign and tell the delivery guy to leave outside their door it with all other post. Problem solved.

HubeusRagrid · 14/12/2019 14:19

In the lead up to Christmas a couple of years ago I took in a massive box for my neighbour. I tried knocking on their door multiple times to see if they were in to come and collect it. We ended up with it in our downstairs loo for over a week, including over Xmas, and when he finally came to collect it he said he'd been away! Why order something that bloody big if you're not going to be home for it?! From then on I refused to accept parcels for that address. Then one time my husband took in a parcel for them not realising and it was over a week before they collected it again, we tried knocking multiple times. Hubby then knew never to accept parcels for number 1!

A delivery man knocked the other day to ask if I'd accept parcels for three different houses, I did. The lead up to Xmas is always a pain if you're home in the day the delivery drivers spoke learn who is normally home!

TabbyMumz · 14/12/2019 18:58

Yes, my neighbour does this too. We take in parcels for her and go and knock, and she doesnt answer. So we have to keep on going round and knocking over a few days. Eventually we have to catch her when she goes in or out to her car. Last time, it was a massive heavy parcel ( she told us in the end that it was a gaming chair) that I couldnt liftand it was in the way in our hall, so I put it in my garage till she came to us. Which she did, a few days later. She was cross we hadnt carried it to her.

Original poster

Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 20:42

That's another day gone with no sign of them. Gonna put a note through their door to say it is in the clothes drying close on their floor cause if they wanna take the piss like this then its their own fault of the alocated ppl lock the close and they have too knock around for the keys to get in.

OP posts:

Rachelfromfriends1 · 14/12/2019 20:48

What’s the point of ordering stuff then leaving it to fester in a neighbours house?? I would be around straight after work to get my stuff!

Rachelfromfriends1 · 14/12/2019 20:48

Yeah put the note through now and get rid of the parcel. NEVER accept mail for them again.

MerryDeath · 14/12/2019 21:08

yes i think it's the orderer's responsibility to get round there asap and get their stuff. otherwise I'm treating my neighbours a bit too much like my personal depot for my comfort.

Original poster

Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 21:12

Done. I think I've just heard them go collect it too. So hopefully that's that.

OP posts:

Aridane · 15/12/2019 04:30

YABU to take in parcels if this winds you up so much?

Original poster

Pinkbonbon · 15/12/2019 04:33

YABU to take in parcels if this winds you up so much?

umm, not particularly wound up about it
and they've collected it now anyway
go to bed and stop picking arguments :P

OP posts:

FudgeBrownie2019 · 15/12/2019 05:03

I wouldn't take in parcels for them ever again.

Our next door neighbours are fab and take in ours and we do the same for them. I once took in a parcel for the people opposite and three days later they came to collect it, huffed that I'd not dropped it over there and then came back to say the parcel must have had cat hair on it and the woman was allergic to cats. Then don't leave your parcel at a cat sanctuary for three and a half days! (It's not actually a sanctuary, we just have a few cats but the neighbours know because they can see them lazing across our drive and playing chicken with the cars daily.)

OvalCanvas · 15/12/2019 05:12

We have one neighbour that I refuse to take parcels for. They always took a while to collect their deliveries from us , and never answer the door when you knock, but I assumed they were away or working so didn't give it much thought.

This last time I had their parcel in my hallway for 3 months...I'd knocked many , many times , but nothing. During that time I would see (and hear) him coming home , I would then knock with his delivery. I left it on his doorstep with a note in the end. Why on earth would you order something and not care to collect it? So weird.

sashh · 15/12/2019 05:34

SarahNade

I think that is the same / similar if you are receiving post here, but these are deliveries from companies so it is not 'Royal Mail'.

And yes I pick up ASAP, in fact when I have had a notification when I am at work i have bought something for the neighbour on the way home, nothing huge, a bar of chocolate or a beer.

Silvafox · 15/12/2019 06:45

I'm a Postman and this 'try a neighbour' thing is frankly a pain. No matter how frivolous the mail is it has to be delivered as addressed (quite right too!) but we have to try and leave parcels which could be worth a lot of money anywhere! I'm always careful to leave a card at the address expecting the parcel and equally as importantly I tell the neighbour I leave the parcel with that I've left the card. I often have people refuse to accept parcels though and they say it's because their neighbour doesn't come to collect it and they eventually end up taking it to them! YANBU - it's rude and ignorant of people to not go to get their parcel and thank their neighbour and they're shooting theirselves in the foot by not doing so!

TheGirlFromStoryville · 15/12/2019 07:07

I took a small parcel in for a neighbour.
He didn't call for it, weeks went by, I put a note through his door saying we had it, but he still didn't collect it.

I was intrigued by the parcel and carefully opened it, inside were several pairs of lacy crotchless knickers. He was single so I had no idea if they were for him or a lucky (!) lady. I carefully sealed up the parcel again and eventually he picked it up after about 2 months. I managed to keep a straight face when passing it over to him 😂

Stayingstrong24 · 15/12/2019 07:16

I have a note on my door now with instructions of safe place to leave parcel if I'm not in. This also request please do NOT leave with any neighbours.
None of them take them gladly, so it's best not to go down that route.
It seems to cause conflict.

Silvafox · 15/12/2019 07:16

TheGirlFromStoryville - yeah it's always momentarily intriguing when a single man gets a soft small package with a handwritten label; I think the ahem secondhand knickers thing goes on quite a bit...

HalyardHitch · 15/12/2019 07:26

He whistles when he knocks? Do you live near reading, OP?

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