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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that if a neighbour takes a parcel in for you...

149 replies

Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 06:57

You go round and get it from them as soon as you are home? Or at least within a day?

Background:
I took in a parcel for my neighbours (flats) about a year back and a few days later I took another one in for them and over a week went by and they didn't come round for them. I went round with them a couple of times over the course of this time and they would come to the door, but not answer it. So I ended up leaving them a note (the person delivering had already done so) and it was another couple of days still till they came round for the parcels.

Anyway, 3 days ago I get a buzz at the door again - 'Very' delivery. I would have said no but I assumed it was for one of the closer neighbours and also the poor delivery women looked a bit frazzled. It's for them again. She put a note through their door to say where their parcel was. I knocked at their door last night (8ish) and again I think I heard someone but they never answered.

It's weird right? I mean I know it isn't a big deal but I often sleep days atm so if they come round during the day, they may be waking me up. Feel like just leaving the damn bag on their door handle haha. I wouldn't though obviously. Will stick a note through their door if they don't come/answer tomorrow.

But am I right in thinking that if a neighbour takes in a parcel for you, the norm is that you collect it asap?

OP posts:

MyNewBearTotoro · 14/12/2019 09:37

My neighbours and I deliver any parcels received for other people on the road. I find that the postmen/ couriers don’t always leave a note or if they do it’s not always clear which neighbour they’ve actually delivered to. I always just wait til I see the neighbour is home and drop it off, it wouldn’t occur to me to sit at home feeling annoyed they hadn’t picked it up but not even attempt delivery myself.

mistydayswampwitch · 14/12/2019 09:39

We've got an amazon parcel for one of our neighbours still from 3 weeks ago. We live on a very long road of over 100 houses so won't be going out of my way to find theirs. I won't be delivering it or reminding them to collect it. I'm not a post man/courier and the delivery man took my name and house number so they know it's here. It's their responsibility. If they haven't come for it by January I'll contact amazon or chuck it in the bin.

Tattooedmama · 14/12/2019 09:40

I wouldn't take anymore in, and definitely leave it outside their door

I took in a parcel for a neighour about 5 doors down (block of masisonettes) they were on holiday and my 8 year old knocked on their door the day after they got back to tell them they have a parcel at our house, she didnt come so i sent my son back (where she was standing waiting for it to be bought to her) to tell her she has to come get it - it was a huge box and i was not leaving my 1 year old in the house alone because she couldn't be bothered to come get it herself (her kids are teenagers)

QuitMoaning · 14/12/2019 09:43

My neighbours and I are normal people. We answer the door someone knocks on it and take parcels in for each other, and we always go and collect our own parcels.

Last year I Knew I was having a lot of deliveries so I went round with a bottle of wine to say thank you in advance and warn them (they work from home so usually always someone around whereas we don’t). I always try and get deliveries for when I am home but this is not always possible as they might give a date range.

I thought this was normal behaviour until I read mumsnet posts.

StarlightLady · 14/12/2019 09:44

I have had delveries left with neighbours and not received a notification that they were there.

If, however, I get a card through the door or a text, I go and collect asap and thank them.

DDIJ · 14/12/2019 09:44

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Scotmummy1216 · 14/12/2019 09:46

I always take my neighbours in but they do same for us. They always come and collect fairly quickly as do us. If it bothers you just say no in future.

PlasticPatty · 14/12/2019 09:46

This 'leave it with neighbours' thing needs to end.
I don't want anything left with my neighbours, ever.

As for it being 'normal' , well, it might be 'normal' for you. It's creepy and intrusive for me.

PlasticPatty · 14/12/2019 09:49

I was an exam marker in the past. 200 live scripts were left with a neighbour, with no card for me, for weeks. By the time the neighbour came to ask why I hadn't collected them (I had no idea where they were) there was an exam-board-wide search in place to find them!

ThunderboltandLightning · 14/12/2019 09:53

They are mumsnetters. Previous similar threads have been full of people insistent that if you take a parcel in for someone, it is your responsibility to deliver it to them.

mrsbyers · 14/12/2019 09:54

Sometimes a card isn’t left

oncemorewithfeeling99 · 14/12/2019 10:04

I would just leave it by their door. We’ve had neighbours sign and the. Immediately pop in on the doorstep. I have no issues with it.

LazyDaisey · 14/12/2019 10:05

@MsAwesomeDragon if the card they post doesn’t have the info of where they left the package, you ring up the delivery company and let them figure it out. They’re contracted to deliver to you and if you designed a safe space, technically they need to retrieve it from the neighbour and redeliver (say your neighbour never answers the door when you knock). It’s nothing to do with you legally as their contract is with the retailer. If they don’t deliver your package, you can call up the retailer and ask them to send another one.

In reality, what happens is that the delivery courier takes a photo of where they left the package as proof in their system and when you call them up, they can figure out the flat/house number. That way you don’t have to go house hunting. If they can’t tell you which neighbour, then you ring the retailer and report you need a replacement item sent out.

AdobeWanKenobi · 14/12/2019 10:05

Personally I’d push a final note through saying if parcel isn’t collected by lunch time on Monday it will be returned to sender.
Then write across the label ‘not at this address’ and drop it in to the post office for return after the deadline passes. You are not a sorting office and don’t let them treat you as one.

I have no time for piss takers.

beautifulstranger101 · 14/12/2019 10:09

I'd put a note through their door saying look, "I have 3 parcels for you to collect. I have limited storage space so please can you come round and collect by x date, otherwise I will have to drop them back to the post office. Thanks"
Then I'd drop them off at post office if not collected. I wouldn't be signing for any more either. Their behaviour is weird and kinda rude.

JemSynergy · 14/12/2019 10:10

I won't take parcels in for neighbours anymore because I got sick of answering my door throughout the day to delivery drivers. Then I had the hassle of delivering the parcels to the neighbours who would never collect.

beautifulstranger101 · 14/12/2019 10:11

*This 'leave it with neighbours' thing needs to end.
I don't want anything left with my neighbours, ever.

As for it being 'normal' , well, it might be 'normal' for you. It's creepy and intrusive for me.*

Thank you! I totally agree. I hate that they automatically assume its ok to leave with neighbours. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a good relationship with their neighbours and some can be downright horrid. You can't just assume all neighbours are helpful, kind or even safe to leave things with. They should only leave stuff with neighbours unless it has been specifically agreed before hand.

ginghamstarfish · 14/12/2019 10:13

I see so many threads about this, I am amazed that anyone would continue to take in parcels for these CF neighbours. I'm all for neighbourly relations, but if they don't collect within a day or two I'd leave it on their doorstep, and that would be the last time.

Chloemol · 14/12/2019 10:14

Put a note through the door telling them to come and get the parcel by xxxc if possible do a clear video on your phone of doing this. Tell them if it’s not collected you will be donating it to the charity shop. Then do it if they don’t come over and don’t take any more parcels in for them

YoHoHoTheGinCatsofThigh · 14/12/2019 10:15

I love getting parcels, cannot wait to collect them if I am not home. Can’t understand people who don’t. I will always take my NDNs packages as well in return. Nowt so queer as folk.

daisychain01 · 14/12/2019 10:22

Amazon is so awash with cash amassed from unpaid tax extra profit, they have a very lax approach to faulty goods returns " no problem just keep it, we'll send a replacement" and non receipt of goods "don't worry there's a new one in the post today". So you could end up with an endless queue of delivery drivers giving you the joy of receiving their piles of junk and having to worry about getting them to their safe destination.

Just . Say . No

Easy

Picklypickles · 14/12/2019 10:34

Just stop taking the parcels in! I don't usually have an issue taking a parcel in for neighbours and will do it for most of them, however the twat right next door to me never, ever collected her shit! She will not speak to me or even look in my direction and she would leave her parcels here for days until eventually plucking up the courage to send her 4yr old or dumb shit boyfriend to collect them. She can fuck off now.

Fucck · 14/12/2019 10:37

I order online but I'm trying to quit but I actually WANT my stuff! What are these people ordering and paying good money for that they're not chasing it straight away??

If I was constantly left with other people's parcels and they were refusing to pick them up or answer when I went round, I'd just stick them on their doorstep. Maybe shove a note through to say that it's there but I wouldn't be lugging it back and forth multiple times!! What muggery is that! If it's raining they might think twice with their twattery next time.

Notanotheruser111 · 14/12/2019 10:39

If you order something then why wouldn't you want to collect it? I don't understand. I said a couple of months back on here that in Australia, it is actually illegal to leave a parcel with anyone but the recipient named, unless a prior arrangement with the local post office has been made. Here, if you are not home, you get a card slipped in your mailbox stating that there is a parcel to be picked up at name of local post office and it can be picked up until such and such date.
A lot parcels in Australia are just left outside the recipients door and mostly not stolen Even ones that require a signature I’m pretty sure our delivery guy just signs the little thing himself if we aren’t home.

Drum2018 · 14/12/2019 10:40

Stop accepting parcels for your neighbours. If they are not in it's not your problem. Even if you do answer the door to the courier/postman just say no. Not your problem if they are frazzled with endless deliveries. You are just annoying youself by putting yourself in this situation so it's very simple to rectify - no more parcels unless they are for your address.

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