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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if a neighbour takes a parcel in for you...

149 replies

Pinkbonbon · 14/12/2019 06:57

You go round and get it from them as soon as you are home? Or at least within a day?

Background:
I took in a parcel for my neighbours (flats) about a year back and a few days later I took another one in for them and over a week went by and they didn't come round for them. I went round with them a couple of times over the course of this time and they would come to the door, but not answer it. So I ended up leaving them a note (the person delivering had already done so) and it was another couple of days still till they came round for the parcels.

Anyway, 3 days ago I get a buzz at the door again - 'Very' delivery. I would have said no but I assumed it was for one of the closer neighbours and also the poor delivery women looked a bit frazzled. It's for them again. She put a note through their door to say where their parcel was. I knocked at their door last night (8ish) and again I think I heard someone but they never answered.

It's weird right? I mean I know it isn't a big deal but I often sleep days atm so if they come round during the day, they may be waking me up. Feel like just leaving the damn bag on their door handle haha. I wouldn't though obviously. Will stick a note through their door if they don't come/answer tomorrow.

But am I right in thinking that if a neighbour takes in a parcel for you, the norm is that you collect it asap?

OP posts:
Hollywhiskey · 15/12/2019 08:54

My neighbours often take in parcels for us (and vice verdant my husband has the worst Amazon habit). We go round when we can or the other person drops it over, it's literally whoever sees the other person in first and can manage it (we both have toddlers). It's really no big deal.

daisychain01 · 15/12/2019 08:56

I have a note on my door now with instructions of safe place to leave parcel if I'm not in

How is it a "safe" place? That has to be the perfect invitation to anyone to come along and steal your belongings! That's madness this time of year

Plumbuddle · 15/12/2019 17:31

Not read whole thread. But, over last year or so I have noticed that all reputable online shopping outlets now ask buyer to specify the name and/or door no of neighbours with who they are permitted to leave goods. Therefore, the reasonable assumption is that your details are being specified By your neighbours for this to be still happening to you. If you don’t consent to this you need to let the neighbour know, or the courier by leaving a notice on your door. End of. Not an issue once you have set out the boundaries. YANBU but u need to take clear action.

Santasgotaredsackofitch · 15/12/2019 17:40

The "unwritten" rule is, when a neighbour kindly takes in your parcel, you go round before 9pm that day... The same day.

If they have kids, you avoid 6ish, as they'll be doing tea. And 8ish as bath time ,so really it should be between 7-8 or before 6.

If no kids, still before 9pm...SAME DAY.
ALWAYS, same day.

Next time check who it's for, before accepting.

TonTonMacoute · 15/12/2019 17:54

I used to have a neighbour who never came to collect the parcels I took in for him. I ended up taking the stuff to the charity shop!

Harls1969 · 15/12/2019 17:54

Weird. Surely if you've ordered something, you want to receive it ASAP? Stop answering your door/taking their parcels. Let them sort redelivery/picking it up from the sorting office

Ohyesiam · 15/12/2019 17:56

Wouldn’t bother me.

Jack80 · 15/12/2019 17:57

Next time ask what number it's for then refuse we had a problem with a horrid neighbour and refused to take the parcel in

SquigglePigs · 15/12/2019 17:59

In your specific case I think your neighbours are being unreasonable given how much they've messed you around/avoided you but in general your same day/24 deadline is a bit unreasonable.

If I got home late I'm sure my neighbour would rather hang onto the parcel for another day than have me knocking on the door at 10pm. And last weekend a parcel was delivered to them on Friday afternoon, about an hour after we left for the weekend so we weren't able to collect it from them until Sunday night. I don't think either of these are unreasonable.

It doesn't help that we have a safe place set up with Amazon (our shed) and it's 50/50 whether they leave it there (or in the case of this weekend - on the floor outside it so the cardboard box of books got soaked in the rain!) or taking it next door. Fortunately our neighbours are pretty chilled.

Batqueen · 15/12/2019 18:09

I get a bit stressed out when delivery people leave our parcels with a neighbour for exactly this reason! I know people get arsey if you don’t pick it up straight away and we are out a lot - you want me knocking on your door at 7am or 11pm? No? Then you might have to wait!
The other day one or neighbours was funny with me because I was home for 10 whole minutes before picking up a parcel that I didn’t know he had as the delivery company hadn’t specified which neighbour. Doesn’t matter that I normally pick it up promptly or that he can just say no. Hmm

Sara107 · 15/12/2019 18:13

There are so many options now, with click and collect, Amazon lockers, drop off in local corner shops etc, that there is very little reason to have inconvenient deliveries. Most people are going to live within convenient distance of an option they can use. So I would be pretty ruthless about refusing to take in parcels unless you have a good relationship with the recipient.

nuxe1984 · 15/12/2019 18:16

If you can hear them in the house when you knock with the parcel, why not leave it on the doorstep and put a note through the letterbox saying what you've done (or call out through the letterbox to them :) )

I would also be tempted to put a note on my door saying no deliveries for number X

Witchend · 15/12/2019 18:45

We had one the other day. It said the parcel was left at either S! or 51.

It was neither. Thankfully the lovely people at 39 brought it round.

WoollyMollyMonkey · 15/12/2019 18:47

If you think they are in, lean on the doorbell so it rings constantly!

You also need a nice notice pinned on your door “I do not accept mail/deliveries for flat xxx”

youcanonlydraftthefuture · 15/12/2019 18:49

Lol just don't answer the door

Nsky · 15/12/2019 18:53

Good

Taddda · 15/12/2019 19:02

Any of my neighbours could have taken my parcel in for me today considering the Amazon driver just left it at the end of my car park....'package was left near or by the front door'....should've added 'of at least several houses nearby anyway'

category12 · 15/12/2019 19:20

If they're in but refusing to answer the door, I totally would leave it on the doorstep. Fuck 'em.

Liketoshop · 15/12/2019 19:22

Leave it on their doorstep

Geekster1963 · 15/12/2019 19:25

We've got a neighbour like this, takes them ages to come round for it. We get on okay with them so put up with it occasionally.

We had one for our immediate neighbour once and they didn't come round for a couple of days so I took it round. It turned out the delivery driver had 'helpfully' written her house number for the house he'd left it at.

FelicisNox · 15/12/2019 19:45

YANBU and they are taking the piss.

You have unofficially become their own personal Royal Mail Depot.

In the new year put a sign on your door that states "I will no longer be accepting parcels for any flat other than this one".

Then stick to it. Don't explain yourself. Enough is enough.

RedDiamond · 15/12/2019 19:45

My neighbours told a delivery driver that I would take their parcels in. They never asked me but he showed me the paperwork where they said they wanted them delivered to and it was my address. I sighed and said okay then... Out came two parcels the size of washing machines!!!! I had to sit with these boxes in my hall way until my neighbours collected them 5 days later!

Next time it was the postie who asked me to take a parcel in for them and it was only small so I said okay. I saw him put the card through the door so they knew where it was. I had that parcel for a week, they never came and collected it. I eventually knocked on their door and said that I had a parcel for them, the husband took the package from my hand and shut the door in my face.

I now NEVER take anything in for them.

MummyMayo1988 · 15/12/2019 19:50

YANBU We live in a row if 5 terraced houses; we're no.1 - no.2 work long hours - no.3 same - no.4 works nights - no.5 we've never met. I take parcels in for all of them all the time as I'm a SAHP.
It might be a day or two before they collect them which is fine. But last christmas I had over 10 parcels stacked in my hallway 3 times. In the end I stopped answering the door.
They know they cant take parcels during the week; sometimes I feel a bit like they know I'm home and will take them in; so they order anyway 🤷‍♀️
This year; I dont answer the door unless I'm expecting something myself. It gets ridiculous this time of year! I've got a just crawling baby in the house as well so parcels really aren't safe! 😂

MistyCloud · 15/12/2019 19:52

@Pinkbonbon YANBU.

MistyCloud · 15/12/2019 19:52

@Pinkbonbon I did put YANBU, but you really need to stop taking them in. I don't. Ever. And I don't expect others to take them in for me either. Not only is it a ball-ache, having other peoples parcels, but also, if something is damaged, they could blame you. Or even come get the parcel, and deny they ever got it, (and YOU will have been the one signing for it!)

I have a 'safe place' for my packages if I am not going to be in. (Shed or garage or under the 'cardboard collection box' or in the wheelie bin.) No need for anyone to take other peoples packages in at all these days really. The vast majority of people will have somewhere the courier/delivery person can leave it.

And no, I DON'T leave a message on the door saying 'leave my parcel in the unlocked shed please Mr Parcel man! The message is left on the delivery company website - for the eyes of the courier only.

Expecting others to take your parcels in, and not being arsed to go get it as soon as you get in (or the next day - if your arrival at home is after 9.30pm,) is just bloody rude. But then, as I said, it's madness to keep taking them in, and then complaining that people don't come get them ASAP. Just say no to the delivery driver/courier. You don't HAVE to say yes!

I simply do not and will not take parcels in, even for neighbours I like, and don't expect them to take mine in. In fact I don't WANT them to take mine in.

@FelicisNox

In the new year put a sign on your door that states "I will no longer be accepting parcels for any flat other than this one."

Yep this. Do this!