...to want to divorce my DH over general election?

[SafferUpNorth]

Feeling sick to the stomach at the predicted result. Have always assumed DH and I were roughly on the same page politically, but turns out he voted Tory 'because it's best for the economy' (WTF).

Just had a massive row... I actually cannot get him to acknowledge that by all indicators child poverty and food bank use have skyrocketed under the Tories and things will get even bleaker when the Uk 'gets Brexit done'. And let's not even mention climate change. I am terrified and DH thinks it's a great result. Is this where we part ways??

I have voted Labour, Green and Conservative ( not all today I hasten to add I'm not one of those voters)
At the last election my DH and I voted differently. I respect his choice, we are married and we live in a democracy. I have to say if he had shouted at me over my choice our marriage we'd be over

@Prevegen4U I assume you're flame. My family and friends in the US are certainly no better under Trump

YABU.
I have no idea how DP voted.
It matters not a jot to me, as long as he is happy with how he voted and why; and I am happy with how I voted and why.
Whether we voted same way or not, he makes me happy and the result of the election is what it is.

To be fair, I think I would feel the same as you.
Anyone who is that out of step with my sentiments on how people should be treated, I couldn't look at the same way again. And refusal to see the actual facts about increasing poverty and food bank use - well that's just fucked up. I would have no respect for his understanding after that.

Up to you where you go from here - but it would be hard for me to get past too.

Did you just scream and stamp your feet or ask why he believes that a Tory win is better for the economy? Grow up.

You're being unreasonable to think he should only have opinions that you agree with

I get the feeling that this isn't going the way the OP expected!

I really get where you're coming from, OP. sadly I think the days of 'we all get to vote for who we want, no hard feelings' are done for the moment, and people have to take some personal responsibility for their vote. It would change the way I saw him too. It's about more than simply an 'opinion'.

He is not kicking babies down the road and throwing old people off cliffs! He just happens to have a difference of opinion on what is right for the country?

Maybe you were wrong and a Labour Government would have crippled the country financially? Or maybe you were right and they would have done great things.

I hope he is on another thread entitled...

'My wife is a controlling unreasonable over the top loon'

@BenevolentEzza Are your family in poverty and needing to use food banks?

What on Earth has that got to do with it? You vote for what's best for the country not just yourself!!

So many people would say that politics should not get in the way.
But IMO politics is so intertwined with human compassion that I don't think YABU. Anyone who votes Tory because of the economy, tax or anything similar is just selfish. And banking on never getting seriously ill, losing their job or having to go back to education.
In your shoes OP I'd be considering where I am / we are.

"What on Earth has that got to do with it? You vote for what's best for the country not just yourself!"

The left have to accept that 1. not everyone thinks like that and that 2. people have different ideas of 'what is best for the country'.

The Tories believe in the invisible hand. While I don't, it's a valid political stance.

I mean, we're talking Tories and Labour here anyway. We're mercifully largely immune to the extreme right that is currently gaining ground in much of Europe. Now that would be worth considering divorce over.

@Prevegen4U Trump has done a fantastic job for the U.S

ARE YOU ON GLUE?!?!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yanbu. It’s about basic morality and values, not just differences in opinion. I could happily co-exist with someone who voted differently from me but I could not stay in a relationship with someone who was devoid of basic compassion. I don’t think I could stay married to a Tory.

I’ve ticked YANBU.
Of course, your DH is entitled to have different views; of course, you should respect his opinion (and he should yours) but I cannot imagine myself having husband with so different values. It also sounds that it came as a surprise to you and he kept his views secret so I would wonder why and what else he’s not telling you.
Although maybe he tried to talk to you but you were too emotional and didn’t actually listen to him. Just a thought.

"It’s about basic morality and values, not just differences in opinion."

I think that's a very narrow minded view.

What about all the working class people in eg Blyth who just voted Tory?

The problem with the left is that they don't actually listen to the working classes. The entire upper echelon of the Labour party is middle class these days and have no idea how to appeal to the people they supposedly have 'compassion' for. They're so fucking patronising. I like JC, and I like Diane Abbott, but most of the Labour people I used to meet at meetings (I was a party member for years) were just so out of touch. Always banging on about how to 'help poor people' without ever having actually spoken to anyone 'poor' in their lives.

Jesus Christ, the attitude on here! Yes, you are being unreasonable. Tory voters aren't some sort of separate species you know, most (same as with all political parties), are actually pretty central and want, broadly speaking, the same as Labour voters. They just don't agree Labour are the best to run the country. Perhaps why that is should actually be thought about rather than just calling all Tory voters lying, evil, uncaring scum who are the lowest of the low and nowhere near your exalted Labour voting selves, who are so far superior you cannot possibly conceive your opinion is not the only one to exist?

I don’t think I could stay married to a Tory.

So what exactly would be your grounds for divorce? Not voting the way you think he should is not unreasonable behaviour.

In fact, I should think he'd have a better chance in claiming you were acting unreasonably in trying to interfere with his freedom to vote.

I couldn’t live with a Tory.

I couldn’t marry someone whose moral compass was so misaligned with my own. But YABU as you should have found this out before you married him.

What’s wrong with being best for the economy? The more people that are employed the more taxes and ni you collect . What do you think pays for the nhs
and benefits? It does not make one a selfish voter to want a strong economy . Just the opposite. It does make you selfish to want free broadband , free rail travel and free tuition fees . And to think waspi women cant add up .

In fact, I should think he'd have a better chance in claiming you were acting unreasonably in trying to interfere with his freedom to vote.

I have never interfered with anyone’s freedom to vote, and I would never wish to control someone else’s decisions. Individuals obviously have the right to vote as they please. However, I reserve the right to choose not to share my life with someone whose values are utterly incompatible with my own. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

I couldn't stay with a tory but he's your DH. Didn't you know this about him?

SusieOwl4 if that were true why do we have record problems in the NHS when there is currently a low level of unemployment? Policies matter. Their policy is to disband and privatise. Be under no illusion. The NHS will be unrecognisable in 5 years. You were warned and warned by NHS workers in the lead up to the election.

But you have to show that his behaviour is unreasonable. It isn't.