...to want to divorce my DH over general election?

[SafferUpNorth]

Feeling sick to the stomach at the predicted result. Have always assumed DH and I were roughly on the same page politically, but turns out he voted Tory 'because it's best for the economy' (WTF).

Just had a massive row... I actually cannot get him to acknowledge that by all indicators child poverty and food bank use have skyrocketed under the Tories and things will get even bleaker when the Uk 'gets Brexit done'. And let's not even mention climate change. I am terrified and DH thinks it's a great result. Is this where we part ways??

[TimeforanotherChange]

I woke up in Grimsby to find for the first time in 74 years we have a Conservative MP. Scuthorpe voted the same. And Bolsover, Blyth, Sedgefield. All Labour strongholds.

I've always voted Labour. DH and (clearly!) a lot of others decided they weren't going to this time. Many of these are living in poverty and struggling. We live in a massively socially deprived area, and I'm pretty horrified that even so people felt the Tories were the best option.

When ex-miners and ex-fishermen are 'Voting for Boris' Labour has seriously miscalculated what they needed to do if their traditional supportive areas don't trust them.

[WatchingTheMoon]

time I agree, a lot of it is a trust issue.

My parents have always voted Labour, they are working class but they had serious concerns about voting for Labour this time.

There's something about them that just doesn't appeal to older Labour voters. I'm not massively keen either on many levels.

[Monkeynuts18]

I haven’t RTFT but I sympathise OP. My dad voted Tory and is pro-Brexit. We’ve had different political views for years and it’s never really mattered - kids often have different political views to their parents. But it matters now and it’s actually driving a wedge between us. I’m really struggling to forgive him for what I see as ruining my son (his grandson)’s future.

I see you’ve been called pathetic on the first page, but I get it. Politics has become so much more divisive, and I think it’s far harder than it used to be to overlook someone’s political views.

[amd4578]

@AlexaShutUp just like only Labour voters had to deal with the fallout of a broken economy after Labours last stint in charge?

I can see the future of OLD now where they ask what party you support and will not match you with anyone that has a different view, In Job interviews as well where they will only hire people if they agree with their boss on political issues.

Get a grip OP if you are even considering breaking up with him then he is most likely better off without you anyway!

[SamJaener]

Look up the word bigot.

[daisychain01]

In Job interviews as well where they will only hire people if they agree with their boss on political issues.

This may be your "prediction", but it isn't on any basis of fact. There is current legislation in place (Equality Act 2010) that means that employers who decide to flout legislation will have the same fight on their hands as if they discriminated against a pg woman.

[HappydaysArehere]

Blame Corbyn and the hard left and not your dh. I didn’t vote Tory so my conscience is clear but I too sympathise with your feelings.

[DisorganisedOrganiser]

If you voted for the Tory’s then that is not the far left’s fault! Yes, the hard left played a huge part in this but at the end of the day you need to own your action. Nobody made you put a cross in that box. It’s a bit like saying ‘the bigger kids made me do its. Labour felt a bit too left for me but I still voted for them. Because it was the right thing to do and because I will never vote for anyone right of centre

Millions of people proved that, however nice they appear to be, they are fundamentally selfish and don’t care about the greater good in this election. Of course that impacts how I feel about them.

[DevRC]

I totally understand your feelings, but try and turn this into something positive. Use it to reassess the level of communication in your relationship. Maybe you could suggest something practical e.g. "ok we have different opinions but let's agree to do something practical, both keeping an open mind, to find out for ourselves at grass roots level what things are really like" .
Then arrange to both visit a food bank and find out what's real.
Use this situation as an opportunity to build on your relationship and strengthen it. I totally understand the emotions you are feeling but divorce is very destructive as a process and in terms of all the other relationships connected to you. The pain felt will be dreadful. I know.....I've done it twice. Your marriage/family is too precious to let this issue destroy it. Xx

[Simon214]

I'm probably in the minority on this forum but life is simply to short to waste on sharing it with someone who's values are completely different to your own. At times like this when the election was as profound as it was, you find out things about people. The fact that this person didn't already know her partners politics is worrying. However now she does, I suggest she bales out and finds someone who shares the same values. Not necessarily politics but values. It's the things we share together, our commonalities based on our shared values that keep couples together. This Tory parties values are radically different to any of the others, so no wonder she is conflict about what to do. Unfortunately you can't teach values. They are based on our core character and how we see the world and it's priorities, so I say kiss him goodbye and find someone else.

[TheGardenFairy]

Do the bloke a favour and leave him OP. Then grow up!

[HeronLanyon]

Agree fully simon214 and it doesn’t matter what you politics are. Think for some politics is very core and form others it really isn’t. I couldn’t fall in love with someone whose core political views weren’t similar. Respect the difference yes but not love and spend my life with them.

[woodchuck99]

Do the bloke a favour and leave him OP. Then grow up!

You should grow up and realise that some people don't just think about who they want to vote for half-an-hour before ticking a box. For many their political ideology is very much part of who they are. I am far from a bigot and have friends and close relatives who vote differently from me. However I could never be in a marriage was somebody with completely different values. At the moment that would be anybody that votes Tory.

[TheGardenFairy]

You should grow up and realise that some people don't just think about who they want to vote for half-an-hour before ticking a box

Mature, Intelligent people research who to vote for. They manage to get along with most people. Even those who don't share their political views. Anyone who wants to leave their partner because they have a different view needs to grow up!

[woodchuck99]

Mature, Intelligent people research who to vote for. They manage to get along with most people. Even those who don't share their political views. Anyone who wants to leave their partner because they have a different view needs to grow up!

Getting along with someone is a bit different to sharing your life with someone. People with strong political ideologies generally wouldn't marry someone with greatly different views in the first place. It may not be important to you but that would suggest that you don't have very strong values one way or the other. If you did I think you would understand that it is far from childish to not want to stay marriage somebody whose values had become very different.

[TheGardenFairy]

I couldn't care less who my DH voted for. I have been married to him for 32 years. He's a good man. He's a fantastic stepfather to my dc. DH is my soul mate. Whichever party he voted for isn't going to change that.

I chose my partner well. He's hard working, we have his dc, from his first marriage, over on a regular basis, he is a fantastic step father to my children, he idolized my grandchildren (and his own grandchildren).

Which box he puts his X is no concern of mine.

[woodchuck99]

I couldn't care less who my DH voted for

That's because it's not important to you! It's not childish to see politics as important and a bit more than a cross in a box.

[TheGardenFairy]

That's because it's not important to you! It's not childish to see politics as important and a bit more than a cross in a box

I agree. We all have to make good life choices. It's a bit pointless pouring your life into a person and then running because he doesn't share your opinion.

Pathetic!

[CharlottesPleb]

That's because it's not important to you! It's not childish to see politics as important and a bit more than a cross in a box.

It's crucially, pivotal important to me and this is WHY it doesn't matter to me who DH votes for. Not only doesn't, but mustn't.

It would be an abuse of any person's human dignity and a violation of egalitarian political principles to try and have any say in their vote, or make them answer to me for it.

[CharlottesPleb]

I honestly don't know how people look at an adult they love, having the freedom to make up their own mind ...and fail to see how that is something precious to be guarded.

[KarmaStar]

If politics were that important to you,you would have discussed this many times in the past.
Therefore I do not believe this is a genuine post.

[Bodyposiftw]

CharlottesPleb it's not about having a say in OH's vote. Of course they are free to vote for whomever they please. And they don't need to justify it to anyone.
But if their partner find their views abhorrent, they are free to leave.
If in a couple of vegans, one decides to start eating meat, the second person has no place forcing them to be a vegan again.
But they wouldn't be unreasonable to say, this is an important belief to me, I can't share my life and my house with someone who eats meat.

[Jaichangecentfoisdenom]

CharlottesPleb, to my mind, you're missing the point, which is that for some of us, it is crucial to our relationship for our partner to share our political views. For others, like you, it clearly doesn't matter. No-one is wrong or right about this, but when a couple is incompatible in their views, then there's a problem.

[emzey]

All of you people that say you'd think of leaving your partner over what they have voted. THINK. What would you do if you just found out they just had cancer, they are a fantastic partner, husband, dad, they voted different. What's more important? What do you love more? Who do you love more? Come on, just because labour didn't get the votes you wanted doesn't mean the rest of the other voters don't want the BEST for this country.

[Jazmeena]

We're all entitled to our own opinions and right to vote for who we want