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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to want to divorce my DH over general election?

464 replies

SafferUpNorth · 13/12/2019 00:09

Feeling sick to the stomach at the predicted result. Have always assumed DH and I were roughly on the same page politically, but turns out he voted Tory 'because it's best for the economy' (WTF).

Just had a massive row... I actually cannot get him to acknowledge that by all indicators child poverty and food bank use have skyrocketed under the Tories and things will get even bleaker when the Uk 'gets Brexit done'. And let's not even mention climate change. I am terrified and DH thinks it's a great result. Is this where we part ways??

OP posts:
littlejalapeno · 13/12/2019 00:22

Lttb leave the Tory bastards

MereDintofPandiculation · 13/12/2019 00:23

"Difference of opinion": both of you have broadly the same view of what the country should be like, he thinks the Conservatives are most liely to achieve this, you don't.

or

Fundamental difference in outlook - he feels that for your family to prosper it is necessary that people "who made poor choices" should suffer the consequences of those choices, whereas you believe that it is the responsibility of all of us to pull together.

Which do you think it is?

AnalUnicorn · 13/12/2019 00:24

”I know all Tory voters are evil or thick”

You are either a troll or a simpleton.

PBo83 · 13/12/2019 00:24

LTB!! (With an attitude like that he'll be better off without you)

BrickTop999 · 13/12/2019 00:24

Drama lama
Id give him his freedom if this is your attitude
Women died to get equal votes
Everyone is entitled to their own vote
You can now live through his smirking face when cons win

ShinyGiratina · 13/12/2019 00:24

DH and I frequently vote differently. We have interesting discussions about our political thoughts; there is overlap and difference. We prioritise different things and have different ideas on methods. Sometimes we influence each other, sometimes we politely disagree.

I don't want to live in an echo chamber. I don't hate people for holding mainstream opinions (BNP would be a different issue...)

BenevolentEzza · 13/12/2019 00:25

@Mulledwineinajug and @LagunaBubbles - will you give up your next 3 wage packets to fund some children in poverty?

As in, make your own family go without to ensure a family with nothing has something? Bearing in mind this "could" be a risk to losing your home.

CripsSandwiches · 13/12/2019 00:25

Are your family in poverty and needing to use food banks?

Because if not who cares? Am I right?

DBML · 13/12/2019 00:25

@AnalUnicorn

I think that was sarcasm

CripsSandwiches · 13/12/2019 00:27

will you give up your next 3 wage packets to fund some children in poverty?

You do realise that the entire point of taxation is that it's not only the decent people in society who have to fund vulnerable people it's everyone. Even the people who don't give a toss about anyone but themselves and would just ignore children living in poverty, even they have to contribute because it's the right thing to do.

MereDintofPandiculation · 13/12/2019 00:27

But I think spending will increase now and hopefully get NHS back on track etc. I do hope you're right.

@AnalUnicorn did you actually read the post you're commenting on?

BenevolentEzza · 13/12/2019 00:28

No @ crispsandwiches

You are not right...

FenellaVelour · 13/12/2019 00:29

Shared values are essential for me, so I wouldn’t be in this position.

SwampOfDeath · 13/12/2019 00:29

Hm, I see your predicament. I tend to think that a person's politics says a lot about their values and how they see the world around them. For this reason, I would be inclined to feel that perhaps we were growing apart, should my spouse decide to vote in such a way. If nothing else, I would find it a massive turn off; a man who thinks JR-M and DT are top blokes, and who is happy to look the other way in the face of the PM's bigotry... no dice.

BenevolentEzza · 13/12/2019 00:30

Oh and no... I do not realise that @crispsandwiches

Thank you for enlightening me...

midnightmisssuki · 13/12/2019 00:31

Wtf?! Are you serious? You’re going to do ite your husband Because he has a different opinion to you?

YouSawThePlans · 13/12/2019 00:32

I don't understand why, if politics is so important to you that you'd end a marriage over it, that you've never discussed it before. Confused

DH and I rarely vote the same but I know our values align. We just disagree with the best way to achieve our ends. Anyway, you don't get any brownie points or woke cookies for ending a marriage over a vote...well, not on here. Go to Twitter. They'll love you.

managedmis · 13/12/2019 00:34

Some of these comments are shocking, even if they are facetious

You can't have an actual discussion on here any more

schafernaker · 13/12/2019 00:34

We broadly agree on most things politically day to day, yet my husband turns into a moron at election time and votes Tory.

I’ve informed him he can pay for the healthcare insurance and any school contributions when the torys continue to destroy our country.

We have to end the conversation there else we would divorce

user1473878824 · 13/12/2019 00:34

DP and I have lots of different views about politics. We discuss them, sometimes heatedly, then we move on because that’s what being an adult is about. Just like all my friends with differing political views.

And one thing I will say about the Tories is that they aren’t so weirdly partisan as labour when it comes to day to day life.

dellacucina · 13/12/2019 00:39

How long have you been together?

I personally would have trouble being in a relationship with a Tory because our values are fundamentally different. However, it seems a bit odd that this would just be coming up now?

Foghead · 13/12/2019 00:39

Most couples I know that are like this are usually quite ‘centralist’ in their views but one swings slightly left and the other slightly right.
So although they vote differently, it doesn’t cause much conflict in general every day views and attitudes.

Prevegen4U · 13/12/2019 00:39

Trump has done a fantastic job for the U.S. Once there are more jobs poverty will naturally go down, believe me. ALSO it will help if you close the damn borders, you're way too over-crowded there!!

LakieLady · 13/12/2019 00:40

YANBU. I've never knowingly so much as snogged a Tory, never mind married one.

I couldn't fancy someone who could support policies that damage the most vulnerable in our society. It would be a deal breaker for me.

WatchingTheMoon · 13/12/2019 00:42

My PILs and I have entirely different politics. I still love them. They just have a different way of looking at things.

My husband has voted all over the spectrum.

I would vote communist if I could.

People who hate conservatives strike me as quite immature. People can have different views. I have never met any Tory who actually hated poor people or immigrants or whatever the left say about them.

Lefties can be infuriating to talk to, especially the middle class ones. The most rabid of them have never even spoken to anyone who earns less than 40k a year anyway apart from their cleaner maybe.

You can't look at results like Blyth and talk about middle England Tories. That's not how politics is these days. The left need to grow up and realise where they're losing votes if they want to appeal to people again.

When the world is in an unstable place, people vote for more stability, not radical policies like Labour have gone for. It was never going to work.