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AIBU to be furious with the gift my daughter received for a secret santa present

168 replies

Oli001 · 12/12/2019 17:10

Y7 - daughter came home from private girls school saying they have to buy a secret santa present - names out a hat - she then told me the girls were asking each other what they wanted and who were giving to who etc . We are NOT "rich" but she has complained that they are all "posh". I explained the gesture behind this event and I gave her a £15.00 budget which she spent the lot (no problem). Gifts were given out today (although others were given gift since day 2). She came home with her gift - it was a £2.00 squishy sticker - is that taking the piss??!! or am I BUB?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1594 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
Singlenotsingle · 12/12/2019 17:11

Does it really matter? Have you voted?

HugeAckmansWife · 12/12/2019 17:12

They ought to have been given guidance on how much to spend. Nothing you can really do on this one but could mention it next year casually to the teacher.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 12/12/2019 17:12

Was there a spending cap of £2 on the secret Santa she forgot to tell you about?

HollowTalk · 12/12/2019 17:13

Wasn't there an agreement about how much to spend?

Designerenvy · 12/12/2019 17:13

Our school always set a limit . Just ask for that next year .

needsomehelptoday · 12/12/2019 17:14

What was the amount they were to spend?

Secret Santa amongst a big group of kids s a sure fire way to cause anonymous bullying Tbh.

What age is year 7?

halcyondays · 12/12/2019 17:14

They must have been given a suggested amount to spend?
£15 is a lot, when my dds have done it at school or anywhere, it’s been £5.

WhatshouldIdo123 · 12/12/2019 17:15

Furious? Over a kids secret Santa gift? Can I have your life please Hmm

xyzandabc · 12/12/2019 17:15

You gave her a budget.

Was there not a budget set by whoever set up the secret Santa? Usually everyone gets a guide on how much to spend so they are all similar.

My dd yr 8 is doing one with her class but they all know the budget is £4-6.

Willow2017 · 12/12/2019 17:16

People can vote without leaving a post. Ok probably hasn't voted a bunch of times for herself!
It's a crap present op no 2 days about it. Of course people will.pile in saying she should be grateful for any crap she gets...
Nothing you can do.about it however.

GrannyBags · 12/12/2019 17:16

Was it organised by the school or did they organise it themselves? As a Y7 teacher I had to talk them out of this every year. Always causes trouble!

Willow2017 · 12/12/2019 17:17

OK, not OK!
WAYS not days!!!
Bloody auto correct.

KTheGrey · 12/12/2019 17:17

But Secret Santa always has a budget and you spend exactly that. Was it done by the teachers or the kids?

BlackSwanGreen · 12/12/2019 17:18

It should have been made clear how much to spend - £5 is the norm at my DC's school and my workplace. £2 is stingy but £15 is over generous.

katy1213 · 12/12/2019 17:18

You were daft for giving her that much to spend on it!

Whattodoabout · 12/12/2019 17:20

Secret Santa should have a budget. If it did then the £2 girl is a massive CF but then, they’re 11/12 so probably spent the surplus on crap for themselves Grin.

GooseOrTurkey · 12/12/2019 17:20

Does it matter that it’s a private school? Confused

sue51 · 12/12/2019 17:20

If the school organised it I would imagine there was a budget. Your daughter might have missed the memo on that.

delineateddelinquent · 12/12/2019 17:22

I see your point op.

Someone cheaped out on your DD.

I’m sure there are are similar threads when someone spends money on a present to get nothing or very little in return

It’s a bit insulting

AlexaShutUp · 12/12/2019 17:23

The school should have set a budget. For school secret Santa, I'd have thought £5 was about right. £15 seems excessive. £2 is a bit stingy.

It's just the luck of the draw though, isn't it? No point in being furious.

ForeverBubblegum · 12/12/2019 17:24

It is a crap present, but you also seem to have over spent on the gift she gave, which may be effecting your expectations.

Normally the would be a spending limit of around £5, so everyone's present is a bit crap.

FruitcakeOfHate · 12/12/2019 17:24

Good way to learn the lesson that all Secret Santas are absolute shit and decline them in the future. Just feeds the landfill more tat. Better to give money to charity.

lovemenorca · 12/12/2019 17:25

You could show your daughter how to handle situations like this
Shrug it off, no big deal really. Focus on more important stuff

Or you could get furious, worked up and, well, come across as a little unhinged.

At the moment you fall in to the latter camp

NewName73 · 12/12/2019 17:25

You should not have given her nearly as much money.

I wouldn't spend £15 on an adult Secret Santa.

The private school thing is irrelevant.

Trewser · 12/12/2019 17:26

Budget is 10 at dds private school.

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