Naked in a family changing room

[apple0pie]

Before I complain can i just check Im in the right?

We joined a gym that has a 3 changing rooms. Male/ female / family. I have older boys and little girl so we use the family room that had lovely big cubicles for changing.

We went for a swim this afternoon and a women was dressing after her shower next to the the lockers with her toddler. My 12 yr son and husband were both with Me and felt uncomfortable. I think I was so shocked I didn't say anything and now wish I had as she could of used the massive female changing room that is for women and children under 7.

Should I of said something or is this normal ?

Was she walking around though? Or was she very briefly naked whole she pulled on underwear beside the locker because the family changing rooms were taken up by kids big enough to change with their Dad in the men's?!
Pretty much sums my view.

Then again it's all about how DH/DS feel. They don't want to use the men's because it doesn't make them feel comfortable so they want to use the unisex family space and then complain if things aren't done to their preferences too.

There are always naked people in single sex as for mixed there has to be clear instruction if you’re not allowed to do it.

There were spare cubicles !!!!!

Then again it's all about how DH/DS feel. They don't want to use the men's because it doesn't make them feel comfortable so they want to use the unisex family space and then complain if things aren't done to their preferences too.

Oh come on. This is just being contrary for contrary's sake.

Everyone knows that you don't strip off in a mixed sex changing room, unless in a cubicle. It absolutely is not the norm to do it.

Would you be ok if you took your children into the family changing area and men were stripping off by the lockers, because you're saying that's ok to do that.

The boys/men here shouldn't have to change elsewhere because of the behaviour of this woman. She's wrong for doing this. What her reasons were, who knows but she was in the wrong. No one else should have to adjust their behaviour to accommodate her. Otherwise by defending her right to do this you're saying it's ok for everyone to do it. How's that going to affect women who need to use family changing because they have a son who is too old to go I to the female changing room? You're basically saying that they may have to see baked men changing in the family changing area because it's ok to do that.

Men are allowed to be in the family changing area. They aren't doing anything wrong so why should they have to leave just to pander to this woman who decides to strip naked in front of everyone?

I'm saying if there's a unisex changing area then it's totally reasonable to expect both sexes changing. I can't be wound up by someone getting changed. It's not like doing a catwalk show up and down in the buff.

Either use single sex changing and expect proper single sex changing spaces, or use a unisex changing area and accept that you may see unisex changing.

Why cant your 12 year old and partner go in the male cha gung room? Thats really odd. Your partner sounds like he wants to see females getting changed. Very odd.

Just dont look. Its just a nude body in a cha ging room. I wouldnt do it personally but i never bat an eyelid when i see nudity in changing rooms. Its really no big deal.

Would you be ok if you took your children into the family changing area and men were stripping off by the lockers, because you're saying that's ok to do that

Yes! I would be fine. They have seen their dad naked in occasion. They have seen me naked more regularly!! If they saw another naked person in a changing room, what harm? They are not going to stop for a chat. If we're in a family changing room, then I am going to be very close by. So I honestly do not see what the hoo - ha is with a brief glimpse of a briefly naked person is.

If the man, woman, were strutting, around waving their bits at my children or somehow trying to engage with them THEN I'd have a problem. But a naked person who is briefly naked while they get dressed, nah.. I can't get worked up over that.

Someone should repost this tomorrow with the same details except for making the naked person a man. Be interesting to see the change in responses.

Yanbu OP nobody should be naked in public ever

Someone should repost this tomorrow with the same details except for making the naked person a man. Be interesting to see the change in responses
I'm inclined to agree.
I would imagine that some of us who think "unisex changing means be prepared for unisex changing" will say the same thing, but will get met with claims from some posters that we are prioritising men over all else (even if we are people who absolutely believe in proper sex segregated spaces for men and women, but happen to think unisex means unisex).

What would be the same on both is the fact some people seem to think "person getting changed in changing facilities" equals "flaunting their naked body to the whole world so are clearly an exhibitionist".

Someone should repost this tomorrow with the same details except for making the naked person a man. Be interesting to see the change in responses

My response would be the same. Indeed in my replies I have used the word "person" rather than man or woman. Because to me it's all the same. Your children are unlikely to stare at the naked person (man or woman). The naked person is unlikely to look at your children (they're too busy trying to dry and dress themselves). Your child if they are in a cubicle are likely to just walk past the naked person in their way to their cubicle, or out of the changing area etc so their "exposure" (pardon the pun) to the naked body is likely to be mere seconds.

Young kids tend not to be too bothered by nakedness. They are regularly naked themselves.. Well mine seem to be . Older kids tend to be mortified by nakedness and make sure they do not look.

I'm saying if there's a unisex changing area then it's totally reasonable to expect both sexes changing.
But unisex changing areas aren't communal. The protocol is that you go into a cubicle to get changed, you don't just strip off in the communal areas.

It's a changing room that's communal so if folk are uncomfortable with nudity then they need to use a non communal changing room.

Most people on this thread seem fairly liberal, but any mixed sex changing room I've been in has had no nudity rules.
I wonder why?

It's a bit odd that the woman chose to undress in the main area, but that's her choice.
It's a bit odd that your DH and older boy (or even just your older boy) chose not to use the male changing rooms, but that's their choice.
Unless there are signs specifically stating no nudity in the family changing rooms, then there is nothing you can complain about.

deydododatdodontdeydo
If somwhere has no nudity/no changing in the main area rules then they should be followed.
If not it's just a unisex changing area and I can't get wound up about someone getting changed in a changing area.

LolaSmiles

The last gym I was a member of had a "tops must be worn" rule in the communal area.
It was mixed with cubicles, but men used to stand and dry/comb their hair at the mirrors with no tops on and someone must have complained about it.

That seems like an uptight thing to complain about deydododatdodontdeydo but each to their own. If places want to have those rules then they should be followed.

It's a changing room that's communal so if folk are uncomfortable with nudity then they need to use a non communal changing room.

No it's not. It was a changing area that consisted of cubicles. This woman just happened to change in the open area by the lockers. That isn't a communal changing room. The cubicles are where you get changed.

I don't think I'm very Liberal to be honest!! But brief nudity is an area where people are in very very close proximity to people wearing thin, skin tight swimming costumes isn't something that would overly bother me. Then again if I noticed someone bollock naked in a changing room I'd be inclined to concentrate more on getting me and my children dressed than on looking disapprovingly at the extra bit of flesh (momentarily) on display!

*brief nudity IN an area....

Pools can have a multitude of different changing set ups.

I have used a "family changing room" once which was literally a room of benches and pegs for multiple families to change in. Awkward. It was built in the 70s and closed down a few years ago. I didn't rush to go back and use it. The centre we use frequently has a female/ family room so suitable for female carers and mixed sex children up to age 8. Many girls use it solo beyond 8. It's not suitable for male carers who tend to be the minority by a significant margin.

Single sex can have different balances of communal change / cubicles. If there are benches/ pegs and no signage to the contrary, I'm happy to change in that space as I find many cubicals too claustrophobic to enter, and I have no issue with brief functional nudity. I tend to use a poncho towel anyway for warmth and a little discretion.

Mixed sex changing villages don't tend to have space to indicate acceptable communal changing. It's not clear from the OP whether this is the set-up of the family room described. I have occasionally seen families change at the edge of our changing village, they're not supposed to, but they were clearly focusing on the practicalities of changing not exhibiting around so I've just ignored them.

Without knowing the exact set-up of the family room, it's hard to call if it's unreasonable to not use a cubicle. I found a closed room easier for dealing with young children, I didn't fancy my houdini toddler DS2 slithering under cubicles while I was in a state of undress!

All I can gauge from the OP is that for the age structure of her family, the single sex facilities are appropriate if the family room isn't to their taste.

The pool we have lessons at is great for a range of changing options, but having a 9yo DS with dyspraxia and ASD, and a 6 yo who needs constant supervision, we're left with 3 larger cubicals in the complex as the only option short of getting a radar key to use the disabled facility, as DS1 often needs the support and is beyond independently changing at the end of the day. Single sex facilities are no longer an option for us for the time being. I'd be a bit cheesed off if I'm having to wait around getting cold while a capable 12yo and his dad are unnecessarily using the limited facilities that we can use when they have other options.

Our local leisure place has a few cubicles but also open changing in the unisex changing rooms, there's also segregated m/f changing and two private pods suitable for disabled/buggies. If you choose unisex it's quite normal to see naked people, nothing wrong with it

Wow! Just wow! That’s an awful lot of hysteria for someone just getting changed as we all do at least twice a day.

PS, your kids and hubby won’t go blind or develop into some subhuman species because they may have had a fleeting glimpse of a naked woman who wasn’t you. When I see British reactions to nudity, it’s no wonder we have so many kids growing up with eating disorders and body image issues. Let your kids see that the pictures they see of celebs in magazines aren’t representative of ‘normal’ people and that people and their body parts come in every shape and size imaginable.