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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked in a family changing room

245 replies

apple0pie · 09/12/2019 00:00

Before I complain can i just check Im in the right?

We joined a gym that has a 3 changing rooms. Male/ female / family. I have older boys and little girl so we use the family room that had lovely big cubicles for changing.

We went for a swim this afternoon and a women was dressing after her shower next to the the lockers with her toddler. My 12 yr son and husband were both with Me and felt uncomfortable. I think I was so shocked I didn't say anything and now wish I had as she could of used the massive female changing room that is for women and children under 7.

Should I of said something or is this normal ?

OP posts:
Sashkin · 09/12/2019 01:44

Purpleartichoke that’s not what our family changing is like in our local pool. It’s a big group changing room with hoists and grab rails for disabled people, and mats for babies. I think there may be one or two cubicles. Mostly used by school groups. I take DS in the women’s.

Maybe it wasn’t obvious to this woman that she shouldn’t change by the lockers? Is it a changing village arrangement, or an open plan area with lockers, and then changing rooms elsewhere? I’d always assume disorientation over exhibitionism.

gokartdillydilly · 09/12/2019 01:45

It is a bit suspect that there was a swinging penis hitting kids in the face in a changing room on here earlier, and now this, bushgate, or titsgate, or whatever...

gokartdillydilly · 09/12/2019 01:47

@hanginwithmygnomies autocorrect is a funking knitwear Confused

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/12/2019 01:59

There are not going to be a huge number of cubicles especially as they are described as large and it is a gym not just a pool so more likely to be frequented by adults. I assume the OP and her family would have been taking up at least 2 of them.

Original poster
apple0pie · 09/12/2019 07:12

I think some people missing the point. My Dh does a class and I take kids swimming and then he joins us and so we all get ready together, in the family changing rooms because we are a family.....?

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 09/12/2019 07:18

I’m amazed at your reaction here op.

Why did this woman’s body make you uncomfortable? Is it because you associate nudity with sex? Is it because of what her body looked like?

PooWillyBumBum · 09/12/2019 07:19

I think if it bothers you that much, get a cubicle. I don’t know why we are so scared of nudity in Britain, many of our European neighbours are much more chilled about it. She was changing for swimming not parading in the supermarket. Maybe she gets claustrophobic, maybe she thought that was okay, maybe she just doesn’t give a shit...either way it wouldn’t bother me male or female. And if it did I’d go and shield my eyes in a private cubicle.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 09/12/2019 07:21

Why would you need to get ready with your 12 year old son? He's 12. You don't need to be in the family changing room. That's a bit weird actually.

StreetwiseHercules · 09/12/2019 07:22

Who cares? Get a grip.

So many adults in the UK seem to have a pathetic and puerile attitude to nudity.

Sirzy · 09/12/2019 07:25

But she was also a family in the family room.

Move to another part of the changing room. Or if your DS has reached an age where changing near women makes him uncomfortable then he can get changed in the male changing rooms and then meet you after.

Stupiddriver1 · 09/12/2019 07:26

Our local pool only has a family changing area. Big cubicles where everyone gets changed. I’ve never seen anyone stripping off in front of the cubicles. It’s a totally mixed sex environment not a normal changing area. I wouldn’t like seeing a random penis when walking to a cubicle. Regardless of what their body looks like.

If a bloke had done this they’d be accused of being a pervert/flashing.

Did the woman seem bothered when your husband walked past? I’m assuming she made a mistake and didn’t realise it was mixed sex?

Oysterbabe · 09/12/2019 07:28

I wouldn't be bothered by this. Being naked in a changing area isn't shocking.

ForgotAboutThis · 09/12/2019 07:29

Presumably your 12 year old also saw you naked, if you're all in the family changing rooms?
It's just a naked body. In a place where it's fairly common to be naked. I don't quite see what harm you think has been done? The woman obviously wasn't bothered by it. If seeing a naked woman is somehow upsetting or uncomfortable for your husband and son, they can go change in the men's.
Or, wild idea this one: not look.

Stupiddriver1 · 09/12/2019 07:32

I wouldn't be bothered by this. Being naked in a changing area isn't shocking

Totally depends on the changing area. If there’s a women’s area, a men’s area and then a mixed one with cubicles and the understanding that you should only get naked in the cubicles then it kind of is. I’ve never seen a naked person in the mixed changing area at my local pool.

And I have no issue with nudity. At my gym it’s single sex Changing rooms and the women’s only has 2 cubicles so women just use the open plan bit. Which is fine.

RhymingRabbit3 · 09/12/2019 07:36

OP were there cubicles available in the family changing room? If not, she didnt have much choice but to take her clothes off in the communal area to change. Our family changing area has about 3 cubicles; if they're being used people change in the communal area - that's what it's for.

rwalker · 09/12/2019 07:39

Perhaps she didn't understand the setup .But TBH couldn't get worked up over this and would of just ignored it.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 09/12/2019 07:40

My 12 yr son and husband were both with Me and felt uncomfortable

They could have just pointedly looked away whilst making their way to and from the lovely big cubicles. I'm not a fan of "public" nudity but I would simply have scurried by, head down, not looking.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 09/12/2019 07:41

TBH though, with two adults I would have been using the single sex changing areas anyway.

PracticallySpeaking · 09/12/2019 07:44

Maybe she was from another country where being naked in a changing room is (quite rightly) normal.

YABU especially if she has young children. It’s such a faff to try to get young children and yourself changed while awkwardly trying to hide behind a towel and not show any skin. To get from swimming costume to clothes and vice versa involves being naked in the middle!

Lifeinaplasticbox · 09/12/2019 07:46

I’m not surprised your 12yo felt uncomfortable when there is a perfectly suitable male changing room available.
It would have been a cold day in hell that my 12 yo would have got changed in front of anyone at that age.

Honeybee85 · 09/12/2019 07:46

I think there are 2 issues here.

1.: I think the changing room for families is intended for those with (very young) children who need help. Your 12 year old can change by himself so he should have gone with this your DH to the men’s changing room. In that regard YABU.

  1. The naked woman in the family changing room.
I think given the high probability that there are little children in these family changing rooms, it should not be allowed for adults to walk around completely naked. If I were there with a small DC I would feel highly uncomfortable to see a naked adult male there walking around for my DC to see! So in that regard YANBU.
oohnicevase · 09/12/2019 07:47

How are you supposed to get change without being nude at some point .. or was she just walking around naked for longer than necessary ? Quite a lot of difference I would say but to be honest it's a changing room . Not sure why there is a communal family one though, in my experience they family have large cubicles to avoid such issues .

LissJas · 09/12/2019 07:58

YABU. Just because you're a family doesn't mean that you should use the family changing area. It's there for people who, for whatever reason, would struggle to use the other changing rooms.

At my gym no boy over the age of 8 is allowed in the female changing room and they are expected to use the male one. So YAB completely U, your son should have been on his own in the male changing and you should have been in the female changing.

As for the nudity, it's a fucking CHANGING AREA!!!!

LissJas · 09/12/2019 08:03

Sorry, should have clarified - it's meant for parents who need more space for baby paraphernalia or who have younger children and need the help of another adult or for fathers taking their young daughter swimming/mothers taking young boys swimming so they can't use separate changing rooms. That kind of thing.

Aridane · 09/12/2019 08:04

OP were there cubicles available in the family changing room? If not, she didnt have much choice but to take her clothes off in the communal area to change. Our family changing area has about 3 cubicles; if they're being used people change in the communal area - that's what it's for

Exactly!

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