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Original poster

Naked in a family changing room

245 replies

apple0pie · 09/12/2019 00:00

Before I complain can i just check Im in the right?

We joined a gym that has a 3 changing rooms. Male/ female / family. I have older boys and little girl so we use the family room that had lovely big cubicles for changing.

We went for a swim this afternoon and a women was dressing after her shower next to the the lockers with her toddler. My 12 yr son and husband were both with Me and felt uncomfortable. I think I was so shocked I didn't say anything and now wish I had as she could of used the massive female changing room that is for women and children under 7.

Should I of said something or is this normal ?

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 09/12/2019 15:22

Or there wasn't a cubicle free and she didn't want to wait shivering in her cossie

That's just too bad then really. She should be in the female changing room not just stripping off in front of anyone in the mixed sex changing room. It's not a communal changing area. You're meant to keep your costume on in the communal areas and only undress in the cubicles.

Stupiddriver1 · 09/12/2019 15:25

So the time I was swimming in the pool at the gym late one night and a man came out the changing rooms totally naked and paraded naked up and down at the side of the pool......should I have been ok with that? Because I mean I could always have not looked. Believe me I did turn away as soon as I realise but I take it some of the people on here think that’s fine and nudity is normal and I shouldn’t have been a prude to be shocked?

And then when he got in the jacuzzi by the side of me and started masturbating that’s ok too? Because I’m beginning to think what’s socially acceptable has moved on if not bothering with the cubicles and stripping in a mixed sex open area is considered ok these days.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 09/12/2019 15:28

Or there wasn't a cubicle free and she didn't want to wait shivering in her cossie*
If you're of that opinion, surely it's OK for the men to take their clothes off by the lockers as well then if they don't want to wait for a free cubicle?

maddening · 09/12/2019 15:36

Aridane, our local pool is total unisex but there is no undressing in the mixed sex open area, you are expected to use a cubicle. The whole space is not a mixed sex changing room, it is a unisex changing village.

The family space allows parents, for example, who have an over 8 year old opposite sex child eg mother with a 9 year old boy who is not happy or comfortable in sending them alone to the men's changing room to get changed with their child who is no longer welcome in the single sex space. Therefore it is likely that it is not appropriate to get naked in the walkway by the lockers rather than in a cubicle considering that you will expect children of the opposite sex to be walking through to cubicles which they are entitled to use.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 09/12/2019 15:58

Ah, the. It must be true

Are you saying nobody objects to people being naked in mixed sex changing rooms?
Because you're wrong.

Prevegen4U · 09/12/2019 16:07

A family changing room, family toilet or other facilities are not only for people with babies and toddlers but for people who need help changing. Disabled people. Where I live they are outfitted for disabled adults and their helpers or for transgenders who don't feel comfortable in the Male or Female facilities.

Please keep out of those areas if you don't need them. They are not for actual families that don't need to help each other change.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 09/12/2019 16:16

@Prevegen4U what do you expect people to do if there are literally only family changing villages? No single sex facilities available? Just unisex ones?
As a lot of big swimming pools/multiplex swim leisure facilities are now.
They're for everyone.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 09/12/2019 16:31

it should not be allowed for adults to walk around completely naked

Was she walking around though? Or was she very briefly naked whole she pulled on underwear beside the locker because the family changing rooms were taken up by kids big enough to change with their Dad in the men's?!

Was she supposed to wait, wet and cold for a cubicle to become available?

Most naked people I see in changing rooms are naked for seconds. They are usually in one spot, close to their clothes. I have yet to see willys or boobs waving about as the owners strut around deliberately showing themselves off to young members of the opposite sex!!

If your lads don't want to risk the chance of seeing a naked, or seminaked female body after a swim, or shower they should probably stick to only using the men's changing areas.

If they briefly saw a naked man in the men's area, would that be a problem?

I used to faff around trying to cover my modesty with a towel one handed, whilst trying to pull my knickers up my not completely dry legs, one handed. Now I don't bother. I drop the towel to my waist and put on my bra. Once my bra is on I drop the towel completely and put on my knickers. I'm usually sitting at this point!

There is always a chance of seeing nudity in a changing area. So long as nobody is strutting, or shaking, or jiggling, or whatever else what's the problem. It lasts seconds. People want to get dressed pretty quickly because it gets cold!!

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 09/12/2019 16:33

Was she supposed to wait, wet and cold for a cubicle to become available?

In a mixed sex changing area? Yes, she was supposed to have waited, just like everyone else.

Talkingmouse · 09/12/2019 16:34

OP, don’t ever go to a French/Spanish beach, or a German pool/spa Wink
Shame we are not so relaxed in the UK.

No need to complain, just change in the single sex area in future. Take 2 bags: one for you, one for ds/dh!

Rosebel · 09/12/2019 16:38

Perhaps this woman was struggling with her toddler so thought get changed quickly and get out. Is your son also mortified when you get changed or,do you use separate cubicles? If you do then just let him use,the men's. I couldn't get worked up about this

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 09/12/2019 16:39

No need to complain, just change in the single sex area in future. Take 2 bags: one for you, one for ds/dh!

Why should she though? She wasn't in the wrong here - the other woman was.

I guarantee if op had said they were in mixed sex changing room and a naked man was changing at the lockers the replies on this thread would be completely different.

It doesn't matter if the op and her family could get changed elsewhere. Other people might not be able to (dads with daughters, mothers with sons, parents with children who need 2 people to get changed). They're all going to be confronted by this woman getting stripped off in front of them. it's that woman who needs to change her behaviour, not everyone else.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 09/12/2019 16:41

It's that woman who needs to change her behaviour, not everyone else
This.

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 09/12/2019 17:04

They are not for actual families that don't need to help each other change.

The only ones I have ever seen are absolutely for actual families and being naked outside the cubicle would absolutely get you banned from the premises, possibly reported to the police.

If you are cold wrap a towel round yourself while you wait like everyone else does.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 09/12/2019 17:06

I guarantee if op had said they were in mixed sex changing room and a naked man was changing at the lockers the replies on this thread would be completely different

There was such a thread a few weeks ago. Replies were mostly the same despite the OP in that case trying to convince posters that anyone could have "walked into his penis". In this case the woman saw the man's nakedbum, because he had his back to her. He was also changing because there was no spare cubicle.

Complain if you wish. The gym will most likely put up notices to say to only change in the cubicles.

Are you ok with your son seeing you naked, OP? My 14 year old would be mortified if he saw me without trousers on! My 11 year old has walked in and had a full conversation with me about his recent lego build whilst I've been drying/dressing myself!

Widowodiw · 09/12/2019 17:10

Your 12 year old and husband didn’t need to be on a family change though did they? Misses the point.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 09/12/2019 18:07

There was such a thread a few weeks ago. Replies were mostly the same despite the OP in that case trying to convince posters that anyone could have "walked into his penis".

No, in that thread the man was in the men's changing room. It was the op on that thread, who was female, that was in the wrong.

A naked man in the men's changing rooms - ok.

A naked woman in female changing room - ok.

A naked anyone in the family changing area - not ok

NerrSnerr · 09/12/2019 18:23

Maybe there weren't any cubicles free because they were filled with people who could have been using other changing rooms?

The woman shouldn't have been getting changed out of the cubicles but it used to be really frustrating when I had tiny children and needed to get sorted after swimming and the family cubicles were full with parents of older children. The family changing room had nappy facilities, room for prams and changing tables so it was much harder to go in the ladies.

Stupiddriver1 · 09/12/2019 18:29

My heart bloody bleeds about how hard it is to go in a normal changing room. When dd was a baby decades ago we managed, no toddler/family cubicles, no room for a pushchair. Used the bench in an ordinary cubicle.

Talkingmouse · 09/12/2019 19:53

‘They're all going to be confronted by this woman getting stripped off in front of them. it's that woman who needs to change her behaviour, not everyone else.’

And it is a great shame that general society in the uk has this attitude.

Really, who cares? (Man or woman)

Original poster
apple0pie · 09/12/2019 19:59

Sorry I've been at work at amazed at the ridiculous comments about people judging me !

Do you really need to know all the detail about the set up to answer the original query ?

And yes I will be asking the manager.

Yes we use the family changing room and will continue to do so because my husband takes the kids swimming whilst I do a class and then I join him or vice versa and then I joined them in the pool so my oh could do lengths. All the clothes will be together so it's easier to change together and because I have one of those husbands, it means my oh can help dry my daughters hair etc whilst I get ready.

For all of you who care - no eldest doesn't change with us. He normally uses the toilet or (big gasp) if there is no one else there he might change in a cubicle in his own.

The gym had three separate areas for changing with separate entrances.
The family changing room has big spacious cubicles. 4 plus two big toilets.
The men and women changing room are open plan and only have 1 tiny cubicle.

I am happy to use women's changing room when I'm on my own with my daughter but that's very rare.

OP posts:
TriangularRatbag · 09/12/2019 20:09

amazed at the ridiculous comments about people judging me !

Do you understand the words "Am I being unreasonable?" Grin

NotAPoshTelevision · 09/12/2019 20:11

Only on MN are there randoms standing naked at the lockers in a swimming pool.

woodhill · 09/12/2019 20:18

Why would your 12 year old son want to get changed with his mum. That's unusual,

Not sure I'd want to Change in a family changing room with my dh either.

Ginger1982 · 09/12/2019 20:19

"Sorry I've been at work at amazed at the ridiculous comments about people judging me ! "

You posted in AIBU, what did you expect?

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