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AIBU?

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Original poster

Naked in a family changing room

245 replies

apple0pie · 09/12/2019 00:00

Before I complain can i just check Im in the right?

We joined a gym that has a 3 changing rooms. Male/ female / family. I have older boys and little girl so we use the family room that had lovely big cubicles for changing.

We went for a swim this afternoon and a women was dressing after her shower next to the the lockers with her toddler. My 12 yr son and husband were both with Me and felt uncomfortable. I think I was so shocked I didn't say anything and now wish I had as she could of used the massive female changing room that is for women and children under 7.

Should I of said something or is this normal ?

OP posts:
FizzyIce · 09/12/2019 13:22

@gokartdillydilly don’t be so ridiculous.
If it’s a family one they should all be in cubicles which the op was but the woman getting changed did it outside when she could have used the female changing rooms !
Some people just like exhibitionism ..

PepePig · 09/12/2019 13:24

@WotchaTalkinBoutWillis

Exactly, 100%. I'm glad a few of us have an ounce of common sense. I'm just happy that where I live, people tend to follow the 'unspoken' rules- waiting for a cubicle, showering with swim suit on, etc. Not just firing their kit off because they're more important than everyone else.

JinglingHellsBells · 09/12/2019 13:24

pepepig I don't disagree with the point you are making but I do think it's rather daft to try to tell people what they can and can't post, in terms of saying 'how dare they' and you need to remind them- like you're Head Girl or something. :) This is AIBU.

PepePig · 09/12/2019 13:27

@JinglingHellsBells

Similarly, I can post what I like. So you can also stop telling me off like you're a Head Girl or something. Jesus wept.

Honeybee85 · 09/12/2019 13:34

@PepePig

I totally agree with you. I mentioned a man in my comment but actually it doesn’t really matter.
I don’t think it’s appropriate that naked adults regardless if they are male or female, are walking around naked in the vicinity of children.

Honeybee85 · 09/12/2019 13:35

And I mean naked adults as in strangers in a family changing room.

Sleepyblueocean · 09/12/2019 13:36

"Why would there be complaints sleepy? As long as your DS is happy and is in the right changing room - which the family one is - then why would him getting changed be an issue?"

I am sure there are some that wouldn't be happy if my well into puberty 14 year son was being changed outside a cubicle in the family changing room.

LettuceP · 09/12/2019 13:36

YANBU! In a unisex changing room with cubicles everyone should be getting changed in a cubicle. I would not be happy at all if I was walking through a family changing room with my dd and ds and there was a naked adult just stood there (male or female). People should have respect and consideration for others.

PepePig · 09/12/2019 13:39

@Honeybee85.

Definitely. I also think people forget that swimming places aren't monitoring who you arrived to swimming with and where these people get changed. If people make a habit of getting changed in the middle of the area, outside the cubicles, you don't know how many creeps will end up going 'swimming' just to get a good view. I mean, no one can prove that they 'shouldn't' be in the family area (can very easily say that their friend and their child just left and they're leaving now or some other vague excuse).

If everyone changes inside the cubicles then that means everyone changes in privacy. It reduces the number of perverts (or worse) coming into the family area because there will be nothing to see/much less chance of it.

Honeybee85 · 09/12/2019 13:43

@PepePig

Yes absolutely!
I believe many perverts are opportunists so we should not make it easier for them nor make it attractive for them to hang out at places where there are vulnerable young girls.

JinglingHellsBells · 09/12/2019 14:04

@Pepepig yes of course you can post what you like, but I'm taking you to task on appointing yourself as some kind of moderator and saying people 'dare' say such things and need 'reminding' from you.

It's all about tone. If we want to be schoolgirls, then I'd say in my defence 'She started all of this, miss.' Grin

TheSandman · 09/12/2019 14:23

I believe many perverts are opportunists so we should not make it easier for them nor make it attractive for them to hang out at places where there are vulnerable young girls.

And I believe there wouldn't be as many perverts if no one gave a shit about being naked in public.

gokartdillydilly · 09/12/2019 14:28

@fizzyice
Some people are exibitionists, some are prudes and some wouldn't do it themselves (like me) but don't really give a shit if someone is getting changed and flashes a boob or a pube. Getting changed in a changing room isn't exhibitionism, it's just getting changed.

The OP asked an AIBU and I think she was. Eyes down, mind your own business and, if you're really honestly genuinely offended at catching site of someone with a better bod than you, ask the manager what the policy is. Or come on here to start an argument about it Hmm

Aridane · 09/12/2019 14:51

I wouldn't get naked in an area where there were likely to be men and older boys - sorry if that makes me 'uptight'

I wouldn't get naked either where men are likely to be there - but the. I wouldn't go to a mixed sex changing room

Aridane · 09/12/2019 14:54

Our local leisure centre has mixed changing.
If a man was naked in there police would be called.

😂

999 what's your e,regency?
A man is getting changed on the mixed sex changing room

Aridane · 09/12/2019 14:58

There are MN threads every day about women not happy to share spaces with men.
Almost universal agreement is that men shouldn't be in changing or toilet spaces with women.
Yet this thread is different, it seems like I'm reading MN in a parallel universe.

In those friends the discussion is on SINGLE SEX WOMEN'S CHANGING ROOMS. Here we are talking about MIXED SEX CHANGING ROOMS.

Not a parallel universe, just mixed sex changing rooms. Don't go in them if you don't want to change in the mixed sex changing rooms. Go into the single sex ones

Aridane · 09/12/2019 15:01

It's fast becoming the new toilet threads. We've not had a "reasons it's ok to use a disabled toilet" thread in a while. Maybe changing room ones are the trend of the moment.

Yes, I think you're right

deydododatdodontdeydo · 09/12/2019 15:03

*😂

999 what's your e,regency?
A man is getting changed on the mixed sex changing room*

I'm not saying I would do it.
But, indecent exposure is a thing.
Staff have been called due to naked men in mixed changing rooms.
You can read about it, oh, every week on MN.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 09/12/2019 15:04

This is utterly bizarre. I've used lots of mixed sex changing areas and never have I seen anyone naked. You're meant to change in the cubicles not just strip off wherever takes your fancy.

The woman is clearly an exhibitionist who wants everyone to look at her.

Aridane · 09/12/2019 15:08

It's really not difficult to just change inside a cubicle. I'd rather not be repulsed when supposedly doing something for fun.

and

In a unisex changing room with cubicles everyone should be getting changed in a cubicle. I would not be happy at all if I was walking through a family changing room with my dd and ds and there was a naked adult just stood there (male or female). People should have respect and consideration for others.

That's as may be - but, seriously, in my public swimming baths, you would have to wait AGES for a cubicle to become free. Not quite sure what the fuck people do in there to take so long. Sometimes I have even seen concerned bystanders get an attendant In Because the cubicle hogged was there on arrival at changing rooms and after finishing the room - cubicle jogger still on the changing room.

So, yes - shock,r, trauma - We get changed in the communal bit, and there may even been flashes of boob and fanny when wriggling out of one piece to towel to clothes.

Aridane · 09/12/2019 15:09

Staff have been called due to naked men in mixed changing rooms.
You can read about it, oh, every week on MN.

Ah, the. It must be true

Aridane · 09/12/2019 15:10

This is utterly bizarre. I've used lots of mixed sex changing areas and never have I seen anyone naked. You're meant to change in the cubicles not just strip off wherever takes your fancy.

The woman is clearly an exhibitionist who wants everyone to look at her.

Or there wasn't a cubicle free and she didn't want to wait shivering in her cossie

PepePig · 09/12/2019 15:11

@gokartdillydilly

Lmao, the chances of this woman having a "better body" is pretty slim. Most average people look bad enough with their clothes on. I'd rather not see what lurks underneath.

gokartdillydilly · 09/12/2019 15:14

@pepepig true, but she does need to ask the centre what the policy is and report back

Vulpine · 09/12/2019 15:17

Or she coulda changed under her towel like you do on the beach. Ive never seen a naked grownup in these areas so i do think its odd of her

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