When people use 'partner' to describe their 'OH'?

[ScreamingLadySutch]

IF HE IS YOUR DH, SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE!

People will twee-ly say 'partner' in describing a problem, then trickle truth much further down, that they are actually married.

or say 'other half' then trickle truth pages later, that they are unmarried.

It completely changes the situation advise wise, FFS!

AIBU

I always thought other half means the other half of the couple (=two whole people) not other half of a one whole person
Not that it matters to me, I'm eternally single

So you have determined what 'partner' and 'other half' refer to. Must be nice to be the person in charge of words.

There are those who would rather chew off their foot than been seen to describe anyone as D--- , such a pretentious, twee construction.

'Boyfriend' doesn't quite encompass sharing household, children and finances, though, does it?

My partner is my partner. C'est tout.

It's husband, boyfriend, lover, or random shag here.

OH - no thanks noone needs another person to feel whole.
Partner - suggests transactional business arrangement.
Hubby - twee.
Fiancé - just so naff.
Friends With Benefits - FFS who are you kidding.
Fuck buddy - sordid, worse than FWB.

Boyfriend at least suggests hours of hot sex.

But can you actually say 'lover' without putting on a pirate accent?

Husband. I have partners, I work with them and don't shag them so even when we weren't married I didn't call my husband my partner. I think I just used his name when referring to him. Boyfriend makes him sound about 18

If you are married, say husband or wife. If not, boyfriend or girlfriend. I think partner sounds a bit clinical and unemotional. Also if you say partner, it's not clear what gender they are and whether or not it is a boyfriend or a business partner.

Boyfriend at least suggests hours of hot sex.

DH is quicker on forums, but sometimes use OH or partner. Partner more in real life. It's a more inclusive term, a lesbian I went to uni with taught me that and I've tried to be mindful since.

OH is perhaps ok as internet short hand for unmarried long term romantic and domestic partner... The term Other-half is twee and objectionable on about a thousand levels, as already mentioned by others, when used in speech though...

DH/ DW is MN forum specific and fine in that context IMO but obviously would be ridiculous to use the D in any other context, and I'm sure nobody does, so who cares. I agree the D is an odd affectation as just "my H" or "my W" would be equally clear.

I think partner implies something very long term and established and find it eye rollingly daft when people refer to someone they don't live with, or even sillier their 15 year old child's boy or girlfriend, as their partner.

Partner is fine if it means domestic partner - person I live with, share finances and a household with, but ridiculous if it means "guy/ girl I've been on 4 dates with".

TheGoogleMum why do you have to be inclusive when referring to your own individual pair bond? That's not an inclusive relationship, is it? Society should be inclusive but 1:1 personal romantic relationships don't have to be!

After I get a civil partnership with my boyfriend, he will officially be my partner. What word do people who don't like the word suggest instead? He won't be my husband because we won't be married, and he won't be a boyfriend either. Or do you think civil partnerships are meaningless?

Also lots of lesbians have wives and lots of gay men have husbands... Banning the words husband and wife to be inclusive is farcical...

I should add that we don't live together and have no plans to do so after the civil partnership, at least until we retire.

After I get a civil partnership with my boyfriend, he will officially be my partner. What word do people who don't like the word suggest instead? He won't be my husband because we won't be married, and he won't be a boyfriend either. Or do you think civil partnerships are meaningless?

I don't think they're meaningless, I just don't understand them and I don't need to. Different strokes for different folks.

Oh applies whether or not you have a bit of legal paperwork but implies you live together and make important decisions jointly. Partner can mean living together as if you are married but is also used by those in committed relationships who don't live together

Out of interest, when and how did the 'dear' prefix arrive on Mumsnet?
Dear father, dear mum, dear stepson, dear husband, et al.

Why? FFS?

It's terribly 1950s and also rather middle class.

Did MNHQ invent this style of addressing people?

It's ridiculous.

It's worse than that

It's ....'Darling Husband' etc not 'dear'

Well that's been my understanding all these years

The dear prefix sounds slightly mocking to me.

No-one says 'boyfriend' after the age of 15! And I know plenty of people who are not married to their significant others. I think it only matters if you're giving divorce advice.

ShoshanaBlue101 it matters when a woman is considering giving up work to do full time childcare or to move around the world/ country with her partner for his career, or moving into a house he owns to have babies with him... It matters as soon as one member of a couple becomes dependent financially on the other, which should always be a fully mutual decision which makes financial sense for the couple but which still unfortunately leaves the earner holding all the cards and the non earning childcarer or trailing not-spouse very vulnerable.

Given your attitude not sure I want any advice from you.