When people use 'partner' to describe their 'OH'?

[ScreamingLadySutch]

IF HE IS YOUR DH, SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE!

People will twee-ly say 'partner' in describing a problem, then trickle truth much further down, that they are actually married.

or say 'other half' then trickle truth pages later, that they are unmarried.

It completely changes the situation advise wise, FFS!

AIBU

YAB totally unreasonable. 'Other half' and 'partner' both mean the same thing - a long term partner that you are probably cohabiting with but not married to.

Well we aren’t married and I feel too old to have a ‘boyfriend’ so I use partner. Not a fan of other half really, and partner is quicker than ‘man I have been with for 10 years and live with but am not married to’.

People using 'partner' when they are talking about a boyfriend is far more annoying. Someone that you've been dating for a month is not your partner!

I hate partner. It should mean a long term companion but it seems it is used quite flibettly by some. Being going out two wks suddenly your partners. Same with OH.

It completely changes the situation advise wise, FFS! Why?

"It completely changes the situation advise wise, FFS! Why?"

Because if someone is asking advice about leaving a relationship or asking about financial or other types of abuse for example, legal advice changes depending on the status of the relationship.

If you are married

1. the advice completely changes to

1. if you are not married. That is a boyfriend etc.

Therefore, it is really irritating to read a thread on the assumption of 'partner', only to find out on page 4, that you are married. Or allowing the assumption of marriage, then finding out that you don't have that legal protection. People's responses of 3 1/2 pages is on incorrect assumptions (take him to the cleaners, LTB, change the locks or whatever) - and then has to change.

That trickle truth just wastes everyone's time. Just say the correct relationship in the first post.

Boyfriend can be a bit light if you’ve a relationship as strong as marriage without the married part.

Dh v dp is useful for legal reasons on some threads

Dp is fine you don’t need to say partner or oh (the latter is the worst imo)

@Butchyrestingface

Partner = unmarried
Husband = married
Other half = doesn’t specify - but that is my point.

Posts will go

Partner = actually, married on page 4
Husband = oh, sorry you all assumed that, but we are actually partners p5
OH = can mean anything until they decide to reveal possibly on p6.

That is my point. Say the correct relationship in the first post, so we don't waste time RTFT with assumptions!

Your irritations are only relevant to the mumsnet word then

The only time it makes a difference is when it comes to division of finance. In which case posters are at liberty to ask if the OP is married.

WRT the term partner, the use of the term is entirely subjective. Someone you’ve been with for weeks might be a boyfriend or bloke you’ve been seeing, however a partner of several years doesn’t have to be living with someone to be a partner. After all, people get engaged before moving in together, do you give them the term boyfriend as well?

Living together doesn’t cement the relationship if the couple have been together for years and are not in a position to live together.

Me and my partner have been together for almost seven years, but for logistic reasons are not able to live together and may actually never be. But he’s my partner, anyone who objects to that should get a grip.

I have a partner of 26 years. He’s not my husband because we are not married. He’s not my boyfriend because I am not fucking sixteen. He’s not my other half people I am a whole person.

Random ‘people’ there

And ...

on p7 he is not the father of my children he is being mean to

I can't be the only person who gets irritated by this. It means you have to go back and revise the information, when it could have easily been give IN THE FIRST POST!

Jeez you need to get out more
just don’t read stuff with that in then...

So you’re just talking about Mumsnet then, not the actual world in real life

I have to admit I agree somewhat with the OP - it does make a difference to the advice given in relationship posts, knowing whether or not the OP is actually married or just in a long term (or short term!) relationship.

So yeah - just say from the outset, and that obviates the need for several posters to keep asking "are you married?" or "How long have you been together?" before offering advice; or advice being offered that is only relevant to one state or the other, but not both.

I say partner because we aren't married or engaged, but do have children and have been together over 7 years - therefore he's more than a boyfriend

I have a partner of 26 years. He’s not my husband because we are not married. He’s not my boyfriend because I am not fucking sixteen. He’s not my other half people I am a whole person.
.
This!

Same as greenglass been together for 23 years, lived together for 20. Not married. As I am a whole person and so is he, halves don't come into it and at 46 and 55 we're a bit too old for boyfriends and girlfriends so partner it is.

I've been with my partner (DP, ya know) for 32 years. Would there be different advice for me if we were married?

I think OP is referring to Mumsnet posting, rather than attempting to police how people describe their relationships in real life ( although this is not clear)

Yes, you seem to be the only person irritate by something so insignificant.

@Greenglassteacup that is all beautiful and wonderful,

but when you ask for advice you will make that quite clear in your first post, won't you?

My point, again .

clinkymonkey - if your relationship was in trouble, or you were having next of kin issues, or anything like that then YES the advice would be different as you have no legal status as your partner's partner, unless you have had legal documentation drawn up to that effect. Marriage confers a lot of rights on wives/husbands that partners do not have, and common law is not a thing.