When people use 'partner' to describe their 'OH'?

[ScreamingLadySutch]

IF HE IS YOUR DH, SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE!

People will twee-ly say 'partner' in describing a problem, then trickle truth much further down, that they are actually married.

or say 'other half' then trickle truth pages later, that they are unmarried.

It completely changes the situation advise wise, FFS!

AIBU

I don't see any problem with using dh/partner interchangeably.
I would also say other half or partner for a long term relationship.

Referring to someone as your darling husband is massively more twee than calling them your partner.

They are your partner irrespective of whether this is formalised by a piece of paper or not. Wind your neck in and calm down.

Feels weird to say boyfriend after 12 yrs together. I'm too old.
Partner reminds me of Waitrose /John Lewis.
I'll just call him my fella

Get.A.Grip you are ridiculous. Why on earth do you care? Twee? Get out more.

I used to refer to DH as my boyfriend before we got married, oh the shame I never liked it, but it was the least cringey option (for me). I could never bring myself to say the word partner, it makes my skin crawl. My best friend is a solicitor and talks about the arsehole partners at her firm a lot - I think thay may have had something to do with it.

Saying Other Half is BU. Be a whole person in your own right married to or in a relationship with another whole person.

I like partner. And absolutely hate DH. Or DD or DMiL etc for that matter. So STIYPASI. Work it out. Lols.

*Well any advice given to me when leaving my husband would have been the same as when I left my long term partner

Being married doesn't mean you necessarily have more money/a mortgage to negotiate

You could be in a ltr with joint finances/savings/mortgage etc*

No, but the advice to a mum whose husband is being particularly vile is more likely to be around staying put in the marital home, getting stuff together whereas if unmarried and not on any paperwork for the house (massively common on here!) she can be out on her ear.

Are you for real?
If someone refers to their OH as their partner it doesn’t matter whether they’re married or not. Often they aren’t married, so that’s why they don’t say “husband” - because NEWSFLASH it isn’t their husband. They aren’t saying partner to be “twee”.
Not everyone wants to be married.
There’s nothing wrong with referring to your partner WHICHEVER WAY YOU WANT TO.

I’d just like to know at which point a girlfriend/boyfriend becomes a partner.
I thought you had a boy/girlfriend until you became engaged , so they became your fiancé/fiancée and then you married.

I’ve often heard of folk having a ‘partner’ after a couple of months or who have multiple partners who are basically short term dates. This really devalues the status of a couple who have been together for years and who may have brought children up together.

I think partner implies something very long term and established and find it eye rollingly daft when people refer to someone they don't live with

There are circumstances where people are in long term relationships and don’t live together you know? I find it eye rollingly daft that you’d be so narrow minded.

I dont like the term other half. I am not a half, I am a full person, so he is not my other half either. We do not make one, we are two.

Home made jam brigade alert!

OP. Why do you even care?

Do you think DH somehow elevates your status as a husband or wife in society? Some people don’t like ‘husband’ or ‘wife’.

Partner, other half, him indoors, husband, boyfriend, fiancé - even ‘the ex’. People are simply explaining their relationship status but maybe you need to have something formal to form your qualitative opinion, are you rather judgemental by any chance?

I'm not married to my DP so I can't call him DH. But we have two children so he's most definitely more than my boyfriend!

@hammeringinmyhead but if you don't own a house, which is what I said what is the difference ?

No you didn't. You said no mortgage to negotiate. My parents haven't had a mortgage since their 40s.

And I am obviously talking about situations where there are differences between marriage and cohabiting, as is the OP.

Whether owning or renting, who is on a tenancy agreement, etc is usually one of the things posters have to ask before being able to advise whether a poster can ask a partner/husband/boyfriend to leave.

And also like I said, personal circumstances need to apply. But tbh if I was married, still not on the mortgage and in an abusive relationship staying in the home isn't necessarily going to be the best option for anyone

Well bloody hell, when I said mortgage maybe I should have said own home out right too 🙄 tbf but that isn't what we usually see on here

My mum hasn t had a mortgage since she was 36 btw

And I'll say again, it's individual circumstances being married isn't always a deciding factor

Well, if your 36 year old mother had posted that her partner had cheated on her, and the next person had advised her to chuck his stuff and change the locks, and she did it despite him actually being her husband, she wouldn't get very far.

Well obviously not because that's stupid

But advising a women to stay in the house when her husband is being vile is also stupid.

Like I said , individual circumstances never mind the wedding ring

A husband should be a partner, although a depressing quantity of them show few actual partnering skills. A partner isn't necessarily a husband as there are technical differences.

A partner implies a partnership of living and shared aspects of life. A few months of casual dating with no shared commitment is not partnership, and it can be confusing when posters share a quandry describing a recent and fairly casual relationship as being a partner because it implies a greater level of commitment and shared resourcing. AIBU that DP has gone on holiday without me is a very different response if you live together/ have children/ been together years, vs a boyfriend of 3 months.

There is a gap in vocabulary somewhere between the youthful/ casual boyfriend/ girlfriend and partner. I switched to "partner" from "boyfriend" when I moved in after two years, but never really liked partner. I liked fiancé, and prefer husband as they are quite transparent descriptions.

I love Partner. Are we a crime fighting duo? Are we in a sexual relationship? Are we both? Or are we cowboys? Who knows? That’s what makes partners so mysterious and exciting.

My head spins round and round and I scream purple projectile vomit if I ever hear the word ‘hubby’. Or if I ever go into a church come to think of it.

Just use their name