When people use 'partner' to describe their 'OH'?

[ScreamingLadySutch]

IF HE IS YOUR DH, SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE!

People will twee-ly say 'partner' in describing a problem, then trickle truth much further down, that they are actually married.

or say 'other half' then trickle truth pages later, that they are unmarried.

It completely changes the situation advise wise, FFS!

AIBU

I always say partner, it is a reflection of our relationship. A
We are married but it was for practical & pragmatic reasons.

Yabu it doesn't change the situation I'd you're in a ltr and living together. Unless the post is about sharing finances when separating. Some people just love the patriarchal institution of marriage I guess and want to judge everyone by that.

What are you on about? I say DP or OH because I am not married to my partner of 10 years I have children with. Because I have never wished to be married. How does wether or not we are legally wed have any baring on relationship advice? Am I not worth of the same advice because I am not married? Partner or OH is generally used in place of boyfriend, because boyfriend sounds too casual and generally describes a partner you don't live with.

What difference does it make.

Plus these words can be interchangeable.

Seems a strange thing to get annoyed about.

If it annoyed me that much I probably just wouldn’t bother with the thread and leave the more patient posters to establish the relationship status before giving legal advice (that 99% of them aren’t qualified to give anyway).

Seriously, why get so worked up? It’s not important that you’re the one that gives the advice surely? Or is it ?

Tbh loads of OPs don’t contain all relevant information because sometimes posters genuinely don’t know what’s relevant (hence seeking advice) or they’re posting while upset so not as “coherent” as they might otherwise be and while I do sometimes think ok but you’ve started the conversation without us love, the point is that threads are supposed to be conversations. It’s not supposed to be OP writes a structured dissertation with perfect SPAG and all relevant information and then we all give our advice (which she is obliged to immediately act on). If you don’t have the patience then step away, somebody else will be along shortly...

"You should have made your point clearer in the first post..."

Thanks @MummytoCSJH, glad you get it, how could I have said it?

Because people have gone off all snowflakes assuming I was being superior about relationship status

... see, there is that assuming waste of time and energy thing again! My point exactly

Unless it's about divorce or legal proceedings why is a long term partner different to a husband in relationship advice?!

I agree to a point. Particularly where it's "DP and DS don't get on" and the poster hasn't bothered to say whether or not the DP is the bio parent of said son!

Snowflakes is such a ridiculous term

You lose more points for that than people not clarifying as you want them to

"I don’t think I’ve ever seen a thread where someone uses DP and then turns out to be married."

it happens a lot. And it has different implications.

Especially when a woman is unmarried and therefore ££ vulnerable, and she is urged to LTB/change the locks/take him to the cleaners

when actually careful moves are required.

it happens a lot. We want to be on people's sides, here. For that accurate information is needed.

@Marshabrydo,

OK, 'come over all upset'. Defensive. Whatever.

Just get the point.

We want to be on people's sides, here. For that, accurate information is needed.

Meh it’s not that bad in the scheme of things.

Dp is generally used over partner on here and that means it’s not dh

I’m not the half of anybody, my partner is “partner” because we sound stupid referring to each other as girlfriend or boyfriend at our age.

I get what you mean but, I say partner because we're recently engaged and I'm not used to saying fiancé.

Gosh this is a niche peeve. If you are giving quasi legal advice about rights etc it's worth clarifying a few pertinent points first. Module 1 of any course about giving advice. Any other context- irrelevant and kind of nosy/judgemental to demand how people describe their own relationship. Do you get annoyed if people say "sister" instead of "stepsister" etc?

@ScreamingLadySutch I think you need a hobby.
Sadly it sounds like mumsnet is your hobby.
Time to reassess?

OH = other half anyway. Could be married or unmarried, but is (twee) slang. Hardly a better basis for accurate legal advice.

I agree with you. Obviously it's none of my business and I don't really care but I sort of agree that it's trying to be woke. Your husband is your husband. Partner for Husband sounds like a relegation. Like you could just leave him no paperwork, no stress, if the whim took you.

I have been with somebody for over a year and I would never describe him as a partner. Or my 'OH'. I'm me. Legally, financially, emotionally, practically. He is him.

Boyfriend is a stupid word for a grown man though.

@Ravenrob and strangely, to me, fiance sounds like less serious than partner. Partner is like ''we've decided not to get married actually''. Fiance still sounds like it's all very new and who ever really knows!

But I don't mean to offend, obviously this is just the fleeting picture that these words give me! I can reassess as soon as there's more information.

I always use partner instead of husband, I’m not really sure why but I feel a prat when I call him husband in conversation. It just makes me internally cringe 🤷‍♀️ Although I don’t even notice when other people say husband so it seems to just be an issue with me calling my partner husband. I’m clearly riddled with some sort of issues

OH - 'other half'. We are both complete adults in our own right. He is not half of me and I am not half of him.

DH - dear or darling husband - nauseating at best. He's my husband, sometimes 'D', sometimes not.

Before we were married I called him my partner despite being told I should refer to him as my 'boyfriend' even though at over 50, his days of being a 'boy' were long gone.

Anyway, why does what I call him matter to anyone but him and me?

I think when making a post, they should make the relationship clear on the first page as well as DC and details like that. It just helps to give a better answer, especially if someone is planning to leave or having issues with family members.

I wonder if it is a sensory thing, but some words just give me the ick factor IRL when I hear them or say them. Like partner and milk for example.

I tend to call my partner my husband even though we're not married. Depends on situation really. I do say other half but it's weird. And I hate partner, it sounds clinical.

I call my long term partner my husband. He calls me his wife.
I can't see it matters.