When people use 'partner' to describe their 'OH'?

[ScreamingLadySutch]

IF HE IS YOUR DH, SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE!

People will twee-ly say 'partner' in describing a problem, then trickle truth much further down, that they are actually married.

or say 'other half' then trickle truth pages later, that they are unmarried.

It completely changes the situation advise wise, FFS!

AIBU

I've been on here for donkeys and I've never seen anyone say DP when they were married.

Also, people like to say DH when they really have a DP, or DD when really it's a DS, because it's more anonymous.

I for one know my posting style is specific and people can smell me from a mile off, even with name changes.

@Drabarni,

glad you think legal, custodial, property rights, tax, negotiating the situation in front of you carefully to get the best outcome if you are exposed and vulnerable ...

are all insignificant.

Must be very simple in your world

I say partner cos I'm.not married.

Other half is wank because 1+1 = 2. I'm not 0.5.of a person .

And boyfriend is for when you start seeing someone not a longer term thing.

Ok @ThumbWitchesAbroad, I will concede the financial advice argument

I think it's pretty clear that the OP is talking about posting on MN in her post - most people don't have pages in RL.

Oh, and legal .....!

I have had a husband for nearly 30 years.

In 1994 a right on midwife asked me if I had a supportive partner. I said I didn't have a partner. "Oh that must be very stressful for you, will your family help". She got quite arsy when I said my husband was very supportive. Notes said Mrs, wore a wedding ring, etc! Bizarre.

Partner always makes me think of American cop shows a la Cagney and Lacey and Starsky and Hutch!

Whenever I've posted in here I've used MN speak and referred to my partner as DP. Surely that makes it clear that we are not married.

I think you should have to fill in a form before you submit an AIBU to include the ages and relationship to you of everyone involved. When someone just says DS then the first 20 replies are asking how old they are. When the age is included then you usually only get 2 or 3 people asking how old they are.

I have to somewhat agree with the OP in that it seems quite a few people consider anyone they've been seeing for over 5 minutes 'DP' and seek quite a loaded relationship from someone who's obviously not on the same page.

I hate Other Half. I’m a whole person in myself.

How about hubster?? 😂

I think the problem is more people being unclear in their OP. Like is your child 5, 15, 25, 50?

Yes, it's easier when an OP is clear about marital status, but so few people read the first post properly that it may not make much real difference!
The only place I've seen partner used instead of husband was on a feminist forum where some posters seemed to worry about being seen as old fashioned or handmaideny if they just admitted to being married.
I never use "partner" but I also would never use "DH". This is partly because I read is as Dick Head, but also because I find the "D's" twee and irritating. DDog makes me want to scream. However, nothing is more annoying than "Hubby". Although DHubby would be enough to make my head spin.

If it is going to make a big difference to the subject matter and advice then yes, specify. There are loads of posting subjects where it won't though.

I don't think it matters. I thought people did it go remain annoymous.

Also who is DF? Friend? Father? Fiancé? Pet frog?

That is my point. Say the correct relationship in the first post, so we don't waste time RTFT with assumptions!

Your thread title suggests this wasn’t your point. Maybe ask MN to change it.

I don’t ask for relationship advice on here OP but if I did I would use the term partner

I say fiancé but it feels wanky every time I write it There's no easy way to define a pre-marriage relationship so that everyone understands it.

You should have made your point clearer in the first post...

In 1994 a right on midwife asked me if I had a supportive partner. I said I didn't have a partner. "Oh that must be very stressful for you, will your family help". She got quite arsy when I said my husband was very supportive. Notes said Mrs, wore a wedding ring, etc! Bizarre.

Glad you felt that was worth it.

BlackCat - I got thoroughly confused early on when someone said their DD was playing on their DS - took me a while to work out they meant Nintendo DS!

And yes - the confusion for DF = father, fiancé or friend (not usually fish or frog) is only equalled by those who use DS for sister, or DD for dear Dad.

Context doesn't always help, either.

"I don't get why it matters enough to you to even think about it for more than a second, let alone start a thread about it. "

Because, to read a thread and think about that person = effort and care. Its what women do and it is what makes us a nest of vipers that make a difference.

So to find out on page 4 that what you were reading and thinking about left out quite important information ....

means you have to go back and RTFT again, with the new information in your head. Which I find irritating. When they could really easily put the important information in the first post by not using a 'coverall term' and not wasted your effort.

A husband really is different from a partner in terms of advice. Biological father really is different from stepfather.

Just say it in the first place.

DH = married
DP = unmarried
OH = could be either.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a thread where someone uses DP and then turns out to be married.

I use ‘partner’ because I have a child and a jointly owned house with him and I’m far too old to have a ‘boyfriend’.