It's not that hard to feed a baby

[ohfucksake]

This is ridiculous. Does he need lessons in how to make up a bottle? Which bottles do you use op? I just ask as if you use TT bottles you can use the screw on lids to shake instead of the teat and cap of the bottle which is less messy. Did he not want to shake incase he made more mess than he clearly already had? Does he understand why the bottle needs to be shook?

Yeah he definitely sounds like an incompetent ‘man-child’ and an arsehole. But you must have found something attractive about that to have a baby with him...

Does he understand his actions Could make your baby unwell? Or does He just not give a shit?

I bet his objection to you bottle feeding wasn't really 'snobbery', he just hid behind that as an excuse - his real objection was that he knew he might be expected to feed his own child. He's behaved appallingly - he's neglected his own child last night.

Put him on full time bottle duty until he does it properly. Then 50/50.

Why did he divorce?

The only reason I know about the more water in the dirty bottle thing is because there was a clean bottle and a portion of milk powder left when I brought it all down when I got up. I asked him what he has fed him and he remarked no wonder the baby not keen on it etc. I pointed out can make him really unwell.

Fucking idiot.

Tommee tippee bottles. It couldn't be easier. There's 3 lots of milk powder and 3 clean bottles and a prep machine. Literally couldn't make it any easier.

I would make him stand there beside me and instruct him on how to make up a bottle, step by step, then piss off out for the rest of the day, leaving him with the baby. He'll soon learn.

I agree with a pp, buy the liquid formula. Hell, I'd even buy the disposable bottle bags so he doesn't even have to sterilise them.

Or tell him to pay for a night Nanny if he won't can't feed your baby properly.

If you make him a hot drink, use a used cup that's had something else in (like coffee). See how he likes a grotty drink.

Put your food down op. If you do it all now you will be doing it forever. He sounds like a lazy fucked, do a bad job and she won't ask you to do it again mentality. Maybe you need a night away with a friend. You know to get him used to it.
A whole weekend would be better.

Get him to do all the bottles. Call his bluff and tell him he obviously needs to practise more as it’s shameful he can’t manage to feed his baby.

He sounds like an utter tool.

So he fed the baby in a used bottle with a very old diluted formula!??

What the fuck?

I just couldn't cope with this kind of shit

So he’s not, so far, doing an adequate job as a father. Ask him to sort it out.

Sounds like he was similar with his ex.

I'm sorry but I would tell him to do one. What a knob. You have made it so easy a bloody untrained chimp could do it. Hell my 2 year old would be able to do it with how easy you have made it for him. It isnt that he can't it is that he doesn't want to, so he is purposely messing it up, so that you won't ask him to. Was his ex a SAHM or did she go back to work?

Will your baby take ready made formula? I had similar that, "I just can't get them right at night." Loads of mess, he even scalded himself with boiling water once. So I got the small bottles in and told him I had made it better. In true wanker style he complained they were more expensive and, "you are good at managing the powder. In fact he complained in the hospital when he was sent to buy formula.
Anyhow, he was forced to do night feeds at weekend. I still woke up hearing DD but to shove him out of bed to use the ready made.

He also 5 years later can only manage 2 hours and hardly any of her basic needs. The only thing stopping me divorcing is that he'd neglect DD on access visits. I am waiting until she is 12 then we are off.

I am sorry this has happened to you too.

His ex was a SAHM

My 6 year old daughter can make a bottle without prompting ffs. She even recognises the hunger cues etc

It's really not that hard. This baby is a bloody dream in comparison to some babies. Urgh. How the fuck do I make him realise

Not putting the lid on I could forgive, not changing the baby and trying to put a wet baby back down to sleep, I would be pissed off, feeding a baby old formula, topped up with milk would probably have me packing his bags. Not only is it lazy, it's dangerous. Next time you make him something to eat/cup of tea, please use out of date food/milk. See how his stomach copes with it.

Nah he's playing dumb on purpose because he can't be arsed to actually parent his child and knows if he gets wrong enough times then you'll get fed up and stop asking him. Feeding the baby an old bottle topped up with water is ludicrous. My 4 year old would know not to do that.

This morning I asked him to get up with the baby at 0600 as I'd been up loads in the night. He's made a bottle. No fresh milk powder. Not a clean bottle. Just more water in a bottle that had some left in from the night

Bloody hell OP. Next time I was making dinner I'd just give him last night's bolognese with some water to fill it out. See if he understands it's a baby he did that to, a baby who needs food to live.

I'm actually really shocked reading this. I'd have him out of the house I'd be that angry. There's no way in hell he's actually that dumb.

You can’t “make him realise”. You can tell him he’s not parenting the baby well enough and that you want him to sort it out. If he continues to prioritise himself rather than be an adequate parent and partner you can then decide whether to stay in the relationship or not.

Agree he's doing it on purpose so you'll stop asking.

Does he do anything else around the house / with the baby?

YANBU. Typical male behaviour I'm afraid. My man ruins an item of clothing (or several) every time he uses the washing machine and it's not because he has a low IQ, it's because subconsciously he sees it as my job and therefore can't be arsed to use his brain and do it properly.

ohfucksake - what you do is a hack; have things ready so you're not fannying about at 4am and are ready to feed. What he's done is be lazy and incompetent, and I suspect it's been done deliberately to put the burden on you. I say suspect because it's exactly what my soon-to-be-ex did, and it didn't get any better. In fact it got much, much worse.

Talk to him when you've had some sleep, tell him he has to do his fair share, reiterate that you'll be going back to work very soon and it's not fair on you to do a shift of paid labour and then come home and do a double shift of unpaid labour because he won't learn how to do things properly in order to do his fair share. You had one baby, not two. Tell him he is not your child and he needs to learn pretty fast, as you did, how this looking after a person gig works.

Being a lazy twat is one thing.

Willfully putting your small baby at risk is quite another.

I'm not normally one to shout LTB, but I would be absolutely raging about this.