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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£400 on eating out in one week - aibu?

449 replies

berki · 07/12/2019 15:06

Just had a massive bollocking off of my dad who now thinks I am beyond irresponsible. I am a grown woman!

This is by no means a normal occurrence. I feel weirdly embarrassed and anxious now which is making it all the worse.

I've just started my first grad job in London - making good money (for a singleton at least). In my defence, there have been A LOT of Xmas meals and drinks this week and I've spoilt myself (going through a breakup). Could have gone for cheaper options but I've literally thought "fuck it". Have also ordered deliveroo for breakfast to cure a hangover - not sure I've ever done that before.

AIBU to think yeah it's a lot but as a one-off and in the context of Xmas it's understandable and my dad should back off - he's offered looking after my account! Don't see the point of being bad to feel shit about it now.

It isn't ideal but I can "afford" it for one month. Does seem a massive waste tbh.

OP posts:
UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye · 07/12/2019 15:33

You sound very immature. You "let slip" to your father that you're in your overdraft, he said you were daft to do that and offered to help.
Just get over it, he hasn't done anything wrong.

Original poster
berki · 07/12/2019 15:33

My dad definitely has no boundaries when it comes to his kids' finances. I appreciate his advice but I don't need his approval.

OP posts:
PigletJohn · 07/12/2019 15:33

An unsympathetic person might say that you are in debt (an interest-free period does not alter that), and you are a sponging parasite because you are living in someone else's home, rent free; and you are throwing money away to cheer yourself up.

Would they be wrong?

MutedUser · 07/12/2019 15:34

Don’t tell your Dad in future.

NeverTwerkNaked · 07/12/2019 15:34

I think you have been pretty silly to end up in your overdraft. But hopefully it is the reality check you need. You are very privileged to be living rent free for now but it seems foolish to just blow huge amounts of money like that.

DeadButDelicious · 07/12/2019 15:34

If you can afford it then it's really none of anyone else's business, everyone is allowed a splurge every now and then.

However if, as you say, you've gone into your overdraft to do it then I really would try to knock the habit on the head now. You are in the very fortunate position of only having to pay your bills. Trust me, use this time to save, when you start paying rent it becomes so much harder to do.

Lunafortheloveogod · 07/12/2019 15:34

Jesus £400 was more than my entire months food budget working f/t and living on my own. If you’ve went into an overdraft you can’t afford it plain n simple, it might be interest free now but that period will end and it’s harder to get used to not using it after a year of dipping into next months wages.

UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye · 07/12/2019 15:34

I appreciate his advice but I don't need his approval

Then pay him no attention! It really comes across that you're desperate for his approval, if anything.

Original poster
berki · 07/12/2019 15:36

Sponging parasite is a bit harsh! Who would pay for rent unnecessarily? I know I'm bloody lucky.

OP posts:
Waveysnail · 07/12/2019 15:36

If you had the money to spend after everything is paid fine. But since you are in your overdraft then you didnt. Bad habit to get into

Original poster
berki · 07/12/2019 15:36

The flat was offered to me

OP posts:
Chickoletta · 07/12/2019 15:36

It's a lot of money to spend, especially if you're overdrawn, but absolutely NONE of your dad's business. I would be telling him that in your position.

FloreanFortescue · 07/12/2019 15:36

You can't afford it so YABU. And childish Hmm

viques · 07/12/2019 15:36

Sounds as though you have let having a regular salary go to your head a bit.

Ok as a one off, but I would make a NY resolution now to get your finances in check and organise your spending.Overdrafts should be for emergencies like a car breakdown, or a new laptop, not for binge celebrating.

Read the other day that one of the banks is talking about putting a 40% interest rate (yes you read that right) onto unauthorised overdraft spending. You might not be paying interest now, but if you get into the habit of using the banks money as your own private piggy bank then you will eventually have to pay the price.

GoldLeafTree · 07/12/2019 15:36

What on Earth were you eating and where to spend £400 in a week? Shock

Waveysnail · 07/12/2019 15:37

There is a consequence. You are in your overdraft so you are in debt

Original poster
berki · 07/12/2019 15:37

My overdraft will be paid off with my next paycheck

OP posts:
MaButterface · 07/12/2019 15:39

Er.. Grow up.

IndecentFeminist · 07/12/2019 15:40

You live rent free, yet are in your overdraft. You can't afford it. He probably was hoping you would make the best of the advantages given to you and save /be sensible to get ahead.

LobsterQuadrille2 · 07/12/2019 15:40

I'm an accountant and my DD is 22. I've no idea what her financial position is like, wouldn't dream of asking and if I did, would presume that she would shut me down or at least ask why it was my business. Next time, just don't let anything "accidentally slip" by avoiding the subject altogether.

heartsonacake · 07/12/2019 15:41

YABU because you can’t afford it.

MereDintofPandiculation · 07/12/2019 15:42

Why are your relatives letting you live rent-free when they could presumably rent the property out? If they're thinking "well, it saves us the hassle of being landlords, keeps the property more secure, and lets berki have the time of her life", fine. But if anywhere in their thinking is "It'll give berki a chance to get some savings together and help her on to the property ladder", then you're taking the piss. Ditto if you are hoping your DF might help with a house deposit at some stage.

I'm happy to help my DC with a house deposit. I'm not happy to help them with expensive foreign holidays several times a year. If the reason they need help with a deposit is the foreign holidays, then I am in effect subsidising their holidays rather than helping with a deposit.

newdeer · 07/12/2019 15:42

It is your money (until you're overdrawn) so you are free to do what you want with it, but he;s not necessarily being tight. I'd be concerned if you were my child that you aren't budgeting correctly, and, more importantly, behaving immaturely by getting overdrawn when you aren;t even paying rent and have no dependants.

I'd just tell him it was a one off: Christmas and your break up meant it was an atypical week, but thank you for the warning. It won't happen again. Then make sure it doesn't. If you don't want him commenting, pay for an accountant.

misspiggy19 · 07/12/2019 15:42

I think your father has a point . You are living rent free but are using your overdraft

^YABU l- £400 on one person in one week is ridiculous. Even more so because you can’t even afford it.

sewinginscotland · 07/12/2019 15:45

I was going to say that YANBU since it's the Christmas season and you're only young once...

But the definition of not being able to afford something is being in your overdraft. It impacts your credit rating because lenders assume you can't manage your money properly if you're in it all the time.

Let it be a lesson. If you've only been earning for 3 months, it's an exiting novelty to have money to spend and it's going to take a while to learn how to budget.