£400 on eating out in one week - aibu?

[berki]

Just had a massive bollocking off of my dad who now thinks I am beyond irresponsible. I am a grown woman!

This is by no means a normal occurrence. I feel weirdly embarrassed and anxious now which is making it all the worse.

I've just started my first grad job in London - making good money (for a singleton at least). In my defence, there have been A LOT of Xmas meals and drinks this week and I've spoilt myself (going through a breakup). Could have gone for cheaper options but I've literally thought "fuck it". Have also ordered deliveroo for breakfast to cure a hangover - not sure I've ever done that before.

AIBU to think yeah it's a lot but as a one-off and in the context of Xmas it's understandable and my dad should back off - he's offered looking after my account! Don't see the point of being bad to feel shit about it now.

It isn't ideal but I can "afford" it for one month. Does seem a massive waste tbh.

Spending a huge amount of money on eating out in one week - not necessarily unreasonable.

But all your posts make you sound childish and irresponsible, yes. Daddy made you have that ISA?

As a parent I’d be concerned that it had taken you as little as 3 months to decide that living in your overdraft with the next pay recovering it was a worrying sign. Yes of course than can be a one off. And I see that you had already put away your savings. But you have very quickly decided this is OK, for no good reason. So I’d certainly raise an eyebrow.

Tbh, the fact that you’re posting here - that is, don’t have the courage of your convictions, or want to moan about mean old daddy - seems very childish too.

Overdrawn means you can't afford it. I spend that a month on food minus the odd takeaway for a whole family. He's your Dad and he cares. Get back in the black.

@duckyolucky I think op is referring to rental deposits whilst at uni. Ie student accommodation.

Oh get a grip OP.... 🍪

You arent listening to your dad or posters on here.

Your in your overdraft and you dont get paid till next month....

You say "paycheck " too

Actually, i think this isnt a real thread.....

If you are real OP. You need to grow up or stop talking to your dad and posting silly threads on here if you aren't going to listen

I’m a spendthrift (working on it) but £400 in a week just on eating out is overkill imo. Could understand a few special restaurant trips but £400 worth, in 7 days?

I don’t think you can really afford it if you’re in your overdraft

So which one is it OP. You're staying in a relative's flat or your parents helped you with a flat deposit? Or how about neither are true because you're just a desperate attention seeking liar?

@Alwayscheerful, yeah. I think it's all BS though.

Can't believe you have the audacity to post this ridiculous situation. You are making a mockery of those people who have very little.

The fact you have spent £400 in a week eating out/partying, AND you can pay it back 'no problem' with next months pay check because you live rent free is just downright entitled

You have little value of the world, and an awful lot of growing up to do.

Who really gives a shit if you're in your OD because you've ordered Deliveroo

Go and do something worthwhile instead of 'boasting' on here about a very privileged background

People are asking about university because if your father/parents bankrolled you while they were there, spurging your own money as soon as you have any, shows a rather entitled attitude towards.all the help they gave you.

If they only helped you with flat deposits (deposits should get paid back by the landlord, so not sure why you paid these back with your welcome bonus) and you otherwise funded yourself (with job/loan) this indicates that you were rather more self sufficient and sensible during your uni years.

Its Christmas. Its your 1st grad job which i presume is paid well and your single with no ties. Enjoy it. Its spent now. Nothing you can do about it except acknowledge all the above. Go have some fun and be brazen about it. Own it. Its your money and im sure the overdraft will be paid back after Christmas, thats when you'll realise the the repercussions of having to cut back

So which one is it OP. You're staying in a relative's flat or your parents helped you with a flat deposit?

OP was talking about deposits when she was a student. NOW, she's living in a relative's flat.

I agree with others. If you’re in your over draft you clearly can’t afford to be spending that much, interest free or not. It’s still weeks until xmas as well.

Can't believe you have the audacity to post this ridiculous situation. You are making a mockery of those people who have very little.

So let’s get this straight - no-one can post here any issue relating to finances if they are ok for money, out of consideration for those who are not?? Is that right?

Tell your Dad gently but firmly it is none of his business.

It’s fact of living rent free that has got people’s ire. Many posters are too focused on themselves to be able to give objective advice. If relative has offered OP the flat on these terms it’s really no-one else’s business.

I don’t care whether OP lives rent free. Nor do I care if she’s spent £400 on food and has £500 of clothes to return.

Her dad’s advice is sensible. But OP is just doing what many do in their first job - which is go a bit wild. I’m sure she’ll calm down.

Sorry OP, your dad has a very solid point. You have an opportunity right there that not many people your age do. Living rent free with a decent salary? Now is a golden opportunity to save as hard as you can and get on the property ladder. You've been massively irresponsible going into your overdraft for food like that. 400 in one week is a lot of money.

But the money is spent. I'd buckle down come new year and really start saving towards a future while you live so cheaply.

Your money, your choice.

But if you're in your overdraft, it kind of suggests that you can't afford it.

OP I get it - I remember being young, free, single, well paid and living in London. And one month I made a massive clothes shopping splurge which was more than I could really afford (as is the case with you, given you’re in your overdraft). I ended up having to life very frugally the following month to make up for it and I was so miserable during that month that I learnt my lesson and didn’t splurge like that again.

The issue with your situation is that you’re not even paying rent or mortgage, which won’t be the case forever, so it’s a really bad idea to get used to spending all this money now - it will be so much harder to kick the habit when you have £1k a month you need to spend on living costs.

Maybe write this one month off as a life lesson (it is Christmas month after all and you’re still young without responsibilities) but going forward to you really need to learn how to budget to avoid more serious issues when it matters.

Aren’t “grad jobs” notoriously low paid though? Yes they pay more than minimum wage jobs, but it’s still an entry level position and employers tend to take the p a bit with graduate role salaries vs a standard salaries, the salary is typically marketed as “competitive” which is code for low.

Your life your money. If you are not in debt it's fine.

I voted YANBU... but then read about your overdraft.. soYABU.. you couldn’t actually “afford” it, you weren’t spending your own money..
if you were my daughter I’d be having a word too 🙈🙄

Ah I didn't see an overdraft thing. In that case yes your dad's right. Be responsible!

Aren’t “grad jobs” notoriously low paid though

Not necessarily. Depends on the industry.

Yes they pay more than minimum wage jobs, but it’s still an entry level position

In finance, law, consultancy and tech, grads can be on an above-average wage from day 1. I started on 32k in 2003, (26k with 6k guaranteed bonus) and top quants going into investment banks were 75k plus even then.

the salary is typically marketed as “competitive” which is code for low.

Really? I read it as "we know the market rate and we will pay it"