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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£400 on eating out in one week - aibu?

449 replies

berki · 07/12/2019 15:06

Just had a massive bollocking off of my dad who now thinks I am beyond irresponsible. I am a grown woman!

This is by no means a normal occurrence. I feel weirdly embarrassed and anxious now which is making it all the worse.

I've just started my first grad job in London - making good money (for a singleton at least). In my defence, there have been A LOT of Xmas meals and drinks this week and I've spoilt myself (going through a breakup). Could have gone for cheaper options but I've literally thought "fuck it". Have also ordered deliveroo for breakfast to cure a hangover - not sure I've ever done that before.

AIBU to think yeah it's a lot but as a one-off and in the context of Xmas it's understandable and my dad should back off - he's offered looking after my account! Don't see the point of being bad to feel shit about it now.

It isn't ideal but I can "afford" it for one month. Does seem a massive waste tbh.

OP posts:
TheMustressMhor · 08/12/2019 09:53

It's an enormous amount for one person to spend on herself for takeaways for a week.

Whole families have to live on much less than that.

Your father is right and you are being self-indulgent, I think.

anxioussue · 08/12/2019 09:54

People are starving and yet people think it's ok to waste £400 on food ?

LaurieMarlow · 08/12/2019 09:56

People are starving yet people think it’s ok to spend a million on a house?

400 on eating out isn't wasted if you value and enjoy it.

PineappleDanish · 08/12/2019 09:56

I don't think it's disgusting to spend money on things. As long as you can afford it, it's nobody's business how you spend your cash. The whole "how can you spend X when people struggle to afford Y" is a ridiculous argument.

But the issue is that OP is living in her overdraft and can't really afford it.

LaurieMarlow · 08/12/2019 09:57

She has savings though. She’s not on the bones of her arse.

Lulualla · 08/12/2019 09:59

@anxioussue
And I do my bit. Monthly trip to Costco, of which a bunch then gets delivered to the food bank on the way home being one thing. Am I not allowed to then enjoy the money I work hard for and have the standard of living I want and planned for?

Or should I live on the bread line and hand all my money over to other people, just so its "fair"?

lastqueenofscotland · 08/12/2019 10:00

If you’re in your overdraft you can’t afford it.

Angie6868 · 08/12/2019 10:01

OP, I really want to know what you bought. I don't live in London, but I'd struggle to spend that amount of money on food on a week.

yellowallpaper · 08/12/2019 10:07

Next time don't tell him. Simple.

motherheroic · 08/12/2019 10:07

Your relative is allowing you to live rent free and you're still in the overdraft? Childish.

You will have eaten much further into your overdraft by payday if bills and Christmas presents are factored in.

00100001 · 08/12/2019 10:29

spend what you likeo n food in a week,

but I am very confused as to your finances. you say you are paid well.

But spending this additional £400 put you into your over draught, which means you must have only had a maximum of £399.99 in your account a week ago. (and likely less). how much of your over draught are you using? £50? £500?

let's say you have already borrowed £400 from the bank to pay for your blowout, because you had 0p.

THis means your bank balance is -£400.

So you'll have to borrow more money presumably to get you through to next payday?

When do you get paid in the month? Beginning, middle, end, every 4 weeks?

Because, unless it's in the next week or so - how on earth are you going to afford to live until the next pay day (Christmas aside)?

And then let's say you get piad today - you'll be £400 down on your salary immediately.
Can ou afford to live off your salary minus £400 until next pay day?

icantbecani · 08/12/2019 10:37

That is a lot of money to basically shit down the toilet. Having said that, if you are living a young London lifestyle I can completely see how your "entertainment" has reached that at an expensive time of year. I would be more concerned about who you are socialising with. Are people freeloading off of you?

It's not a big deal to be in an interest free overdraft as a one off. Just cut right back in January and get it paid off.

Hope you had a good time!

recycledbottle · 08/12/2019 10:52

It's not just on food. It's on socialising and parties and generally living a carefree first job life. That's what 20s are all about imo. You can cut back in January to get you out of the red and I'd watch your father's involvement ensuring it doesn't go into overinvolvement.

MrDarcysMa · 08/12/2019 10:54

It is your choice on what you spend your money one BUT, it's not as it was from overdraft. Which isn't real money. Don't beat yourself up, just get back on track in January.
Young people have no idea how hard life is going to be for them when they're older with lack of social care, good pensions etc. You ideally should be saving the same amount as you would be paying rent at the beginning of each month and not touching it. That still should leave you enough to play with. break it down weekly and use a budgeting app such as Yolt, or get a Monzo for 'fun' money so you can keep an eye on your spends.

anxioussue · 08/12/2019 11:09

People are starving yet people think it’s ok to spend a million on a house?

I don't think that's ok either

Gwenhwyfar · 08/12/2019 11:19

"She has savings though. She’s not on the bones of her arse."

Exactly. She CAN afford it.

FraglesRock · 08/12/2019 11:22

In my head you can't afford it if it's made you go overdrawn.
Interest free or not, not a healthy approach to money.

EleanorShellstrop100 · 08/12/2019 11:24

You’re single and getting through a break up and having s good time AND it’s christmas. You are very much most definitely not being unreasonable! Splash out and enjoy yourself and sort it out after Christmas Grin

EleanorShellstrop100 · 08/12/2019 11:26

Now I think about it, when I was a bit younger and single I spent my entire paycheck (except rent and a bit of food shopping) on going out and eating and drinking and partying and having fun pretty much every month! Great fun!

Gwenhwyfar · 08/12/2019 11:27

"In my head you can't afford it if it's made you go overdrawn."

But she has savings, she used the overdraft because she can't access her savings quickly enough so she CAN afford it.

StrawberrySquash · 08/12/2019 11:28

'I don't live at home but have been very fortunate to live in a relatives flat (they've emigrated). Only pay bills. My dad wants me to save every penny as he is extremely tight.''
I'm going to be very boring and annoying and say if you are living rent free that money (plus a bit more) should be saved. It's so, so easy, especially in London to just up your lifestyle to match your incomings (which are currently effectively inflated due to no rent). When you start to pay rent/mortgage you will get a horrid shock otherwise as you'll have to cut back. Seriously switching down a level mentally now as to what you can afford will make life so much easier in future.

Original poster
berki · 08/12/2019 11:47

Just thought I'd say I'm only just into my overdraft. I've put £1200 into my savings account, bought nice Xmas decorations and had a weekend away (with ex so obviously regret this). Bit of an insane month so it was stupid to blow it on food and drink to top it off.

I can't see myself spending more than £100 this week - plan on living off juices and soups. All that food and booze has made me feel rough and chunky. Have plenty of frozen fruit and veg.

OP posts:
Original poster
berki · 08/12/2019 11:51

Oh and I will have roughly £500 worth of returns coming in! Just need to send the stuff off.

Just as an aside, would you expect a company to refund delivery charges if you paid for next day delivery but it didn't arrive on time?

OP posts:
Motoko · 08/12/2019 11:59

She has savings though. She’s not on the bones of her arse.

But she can't access them, so she can't just transfer some money across, therefore, they're as much help as if she didn't have them at all. She needs another savings account that has easy access, that she can dip into.

She's going to be getting deeper and deeper into her O/D until she gets paid, just with general living expenses, which means she'll be short next month, which because of Christmas and companies often paying the December salary early, is going to be a long month. Will she be able to get through January without going into her O/D again?

Even without spending the £400 on food, she'd gone through her wages (assuming she was paid at the end of November) in just a few days. That's unsustainable.

Bluebutterfly90 · 08/12/2019 12:06

Hah, wish I had £400 to spend on eating out, that sounds nice. Unfortunately I got rent to pay.

If it's truly a one off, just feel a little silly and learn from it. Going into your overdraft isn't great. But, my best friend is younger than me and still living at a place where she doesn't pay rent and I'm always telling her to treat herself because once the bill-paying starts it doesn't stop.
If you're still in a position where you can treat yourself, enjoy it. But try and stay out of the overdraft in future! Wink

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