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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£400 on eating out in one week - aibu?

449 replies

berki · 07/12/2019 15:06

Just had a massive bollocking off of my dad who now thinks I am beyond irresponsible. I am a grown woman!

This is by no means a normal occurrence. I feel weirdly embarrassed and anxious now which is making it all the worse.

I've just started my first grad job in London - making good money (for a singleton at least). In my defence, there have been A LOT of Xmas meals and drinks this week and I've spoilt myself (going through a breakup). Could have gone for cheaper options but I've literally thought "fuck it". Have also ordered deliveroo for breakfast to cure a hangover - not sure I've ever done that before.

AIBU to think yeah it's a lot but as a one-off and in the context of Xmas it's understandable and my dad should back off - he's offered looking after my account! Don't see the point of being bad to feel shit about it now.

It isn't ideal but I can "afford" it for one month. Does seem a massive waste tbh.

OP posts:
duckyolucky · 08/12/2019 19:26

This is the same generation that claims it can't get on the housing ladder!

Dick

Agreed, but the flip side is you must take the odd lecture.
Fair point

ToftyAC · 08/12/2019 20:04

On a one off and affordable the yeah, fuck it. It is a fucking walloping amount though. And dad’s worry whatever. Don’t let him badger you though. Like you said, you’re s grown up.

Single2catsand1daughter · 08/12/2019 20:11

What were you eating and drinking for £400?

ladycatlover · 08/12/2019 20:14

I can't be bothered to read the whole thread as I'm too angry.

You are an entitled so and so. You spend £400 eating out in a week? I'm a pensioner, my month's money isn't much more than that.

Grow up, and think about giving some of your money to charity since you are so well off.

Iamthewombat · 08/12/2019 20:23

Don’t tell your dad what you spend. You are an adult earning your own money.

If you are earning an ok salary, you are grown up enough to decide for yourself whether you can overspend for a special occasion then economise later, surely?

FelicisNox · 08/12/2019 20:26

I haven't read the thread as it's too long and I'm a bit conflicted.

  1. if you're in your overdraft then you can't afford it.

  2. I don't live in London but I'm there on a regular basis and £400 in one week is ridiculous.

  3. you say it's a one off. I don't believe you. You're either comfortable spending that sort of money or you're not and if you can spend £400 on a good time in 1 week then this is clearly not an unknown behaviour to you.

  4. you maybe living rent free now but you won't always be so you need to ditch the bad habits and get better ones.

I don't know if your dad IS a tight ass or if you're just newly enjoying having a great wage but I suspect it's somewhere in the middle. You're right. You are an adult, for your sake you need to start acting like one.

Ated · 08/12/2019 20:26

So no rent or mortgage and you blow your money and go into an overdraft. So it's free, it doesn't matter, it isn't your money. If you cannot get your priorities sorted now you could see an unfortunate spiral heading your way at some time and then you will not be able to sort it.

FelicisNox · 08/12/2019 20:27

To give you context, £400 would feed a family of 4 for 1 month.

Think about that.

Loopytiles · 08/12/2019 20:28

Yes, give your dad much less info!

Due to your housing situation and job you have a fantastic opportunity to save money towards property - or anything else! Would do that.

You can have a good social life without spending a fortune.

Iamthewombat · 08/12/2019 20:32

The finger wagging on this thread! Give the kid a break. One week of larging it to the tune of £400 and now she’s expected to do the sackcloth and ashes bit? Give me strength.

Lovely13 · 08/12/2019 20:50

He’s trying to make you be realistic about finances. Consider it a one off splurge and then be more sensible. Fancy food, or any consumables, are really not worth it in the long run.

Loopytiles · 08/12/2019 20:56

OP may be a “grown woman” but isn’t yet financially independent, as her housing is provided for free by a family member. She doesn’t mention her financial set up at university. She’s lucky.

IdblowJonSnow · 08/12/2019 21:00

Yabu. Crazy waste of money and I say that as someone who loves eating and drinking.
However it's none of your dad's business.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 08/12/2019 21:03

Tell daddy to mind his own unless he’s bankrolling you. If you can afford or not it’s fine - your decision not his.

Original poster
berki · 08/12/2019 21:23

and think about giving some of your money to charity I donate monthly to three animal charities.

OP posts:
adhdme2019 · 08/12/2019 21:23

I suppose another way to look at it is you easily spend this on two nights away? It’s a similar idea.

Original poster
berki · 08/12/2019 21:26

She doesn’t mention her financial set up at university

Why would I? My parents helped with flat deposits but that was it. I have repaid 50% of what was given with my welcome bonus, my parents refused to take more.

OP posts:
GreytExpectations · 08/12/2019 21:32

If you are already in your over draft this early in the month, how are you going to afford the rest of the month? I'm going to guess a helping hand from dad....

00100001 · 08/12/2019 21:37

OP. When is pay day? And how much money have you borrowed so far?

You say you're "just in" your OD and plan to spend £100 next week.

I'm just wondering how much more debt you will be in come pay day.

Youreckon · 08/12/2019 21:56

You’re incredibly selective in answering which questions to answer

OhioOhioOhio · 08/12/2019 22:17

If you can't stay in your rent free accommodation who will you ask for help?

Katerinalouise · 08/12/2019 22:28

Yeah yabu. You know fine well you are otherwise you wouldn’t have asked. £400 is leaving beyond your means, your father probably thinks your just taking the piss based on the fact all you pay is bills. You say you’ve been good for the past two months? What about the rest of the year?

duckyolucky · 08/12/2019 22:57

My parents helped with flat deposits but that was it.

I thought you were in a relatives flat?

duckyolucky · 08/12/2019 22:58

Actually I think this thread is just a stealth boast.

OhShitHappenedToMe · 08/12/2019 23:07

Is this a reverse? I can't believe anyone in being in your enviable position would be so irresponsible - even if you consider it your money to spend. Don't know if anyone's told you but we have another 3 week's of 'Christmas' and then it's a thing people call 'New Year'. You should also celebrate your birthday, early and anything else e.g Hindus have 'Sankranti' in January; I'm sure Muslims have eid and you could always justify Easter - that's a movable feast.