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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to leave for one bad night

472 replies

Sherrybabyy · 06/12/2019 16:52

Fiancé and I went to the pub for dinner last night. I was driving so he had a few beers before the meal at the bar. However he ended up absolutely pissed.

He tried to order another beer and they refused to serve him any more. At this point, he started shouting and swearing at the girl behind the bar, banging his fists on the bar asking ‘why won’t you fucking serve me?! It’s a fucking joke’. I have never seen him so angry. His whole body language changed, he looked aggressive- chest puffed out, shoulders back etc.

He ended up being told to leave by the manager who my fiancé accused of touching me inappropriately out of absolutely nowhere. He squared up to him, almost toe to toe, pointed a finger in this poor man’s face and shouted ‘did you fucking touch my wife?’. He then looked at me at yelled ‘did he fucking touch you?’ In front of the whole restaurant. I have never in my life been so mortified and disgusted by his behaviour.

On the way to the car, he was sick twice in the car park and sick all over himself and my car on the way home.

He doesn’t understand why I’m so angry at him. He left for work today feeling sorry for himself, trying to apologise. He said as he was stepping out the door ‘we could’ve stayed longer, I just needed to be sick’

All that from a 31 year old man.

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 10/12/2019 11:49

Well done for getting out OP

NearlyGranny · 10/12/2019 11:50

The parting shot is always, "You'll never find anyone like me." The reply is, "I sincerely hope not!"

RhinoskinhaveI · 10/12/2019 12:18

That would be a great retort Nearlynanny, alternatively, 'no one could be that unlucky'🤣

Sherrybabyy · 10/12/2019 15:07

Currently at my parents house waiting for them to get home. Ex won’t be home until gone 5 so not expecting any furious messages yet!

OP posts:
FraglesRock · 10/12/2019 15:08

Well done. Did you get everything or do you have to go back.

FizzyGreenWater · 10/12/2019 15:32

Well done. Stick around on here, people can help you with messages to him as well as helping to take your mind off things with chat!

Sherrybabyy · 10/12/2019 15:35

@FizzyGreenWater, thank you, I definitely will!

@FraglesRock managed to get everything I need! He can keep the rest

OP posts:
nespressowoo · 10/12/2019 16:17

Well done, OP. So proud of you. You've dodged a bullet for sure!

halloumi2019 · 10/12/2019 16:22

Congrats!! You absolutely made the right decision. Regardless of anything he has to say later.

BusterGonad · 10/12/2019 16:30

Well done and merry Christmas!

isitpossibleto · 10/12/2019 16:30

If you’ve got everything you need you have no reason to be waiting for furious messages. This is one person who you can and need to block without one iota of guilt or sense of responsibility towards. Go on. Give yourself the entire freedom you deserve. Do not waste another second on this pathetic excuse for a man

EnglishRose13 · 10/12/2019 16:35

Well done, OP.

almondfinger · 10/12/2019 16:38

Well done OP, stay strong. You know you deserve a better life then anything you would have with him.

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 10/12/2019 16:45

Oh wonderful!!! I'm so happy for you!

Make a nice cup of tea or pour yourself a drink. Revel in the silence and peace. You did it!!!!

Redwinestillfine · 10/12/2019 16:51

I echo block. Don't get drawn into his drama. He knows why. Enjoy your new start
and don't look back ( but if you do, don't be hard on yourself, it's natural to question things a week or so in. Look back on these messages and remind yourself why).

halloumi2019 · 10/12/2019 16:57

Definitely block him especially if he’s going to lose his temper

pemberlyshades · 10/12/2019 17:42

Well done @Sherrybabyy be aware that you are probably on an adrenaline rush after leaving today, the next few days you might crash out a bit emotionally.
Keep rereading this thread and posting for a reminder of just how poorly he has treated you. I mean this in the kindest way but do you have low self esteem? And are you stubborn? I just get the impression from your posts that you feel worthy of being treated so badly and that by staying with him for so long you've been trying to "prove" to him that you are "good enough" to be with him. When in reality he's not fit to lick the shit from your shoes!

madmumofteens · 10/12/2019 20:19

Brilliant news OP onwards and upwards 💐x

billy1966 · 10/12/2019 20:43

Welcome to your wonderful future.

Now that you have left that repulsive, abusive excuse of a man.

💐

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 10/12/2019 20:45

Good for you OP. I wish you all the best.

aveenos · 10/12/2019 20:56

Great, OP. all the best for the new start. well done for getting rid and getting rid quickly. what a dick!

JudasHisCarrot · 10/12/2019 20:59

Well done OP, you're amazing Flowers

Magicmama92 · 10/12/2019 22:15

I'd deffo block him now. Well done and enjoy your Christmas you've been so brave and you've taken the first step in a happier healthier you x

Sherrybabyy · 10/12/2019 22:20

I’ve blocked him so I’ve had no fallout.

Very appreciative of all of your messages.

I must admit, it has hit me in the last couple of hours just as @pemberlyshades said! I’ve had a few moments of doubt, of ‘what ifs’. It all just feels so final now and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. I’m still young but so much of my youth was taken up with that one person and now I’m feeling a bit lost to be honest Sad

OP posts:
pointythings · 10/12/2019 22:35

You're allowed doubts and fears. But as time passes, you will find out just how great life is without this man in it. Well done leaving, well done taking on board all the hard truths you've had to here on this thread. You're a Star

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