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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you’d have kids again?

191 replies

FeckArseMerlot · 06/12/2019 09:47

Just that really - would you have kids again, given the chance to make decisions again with the benefit of experience?

Don’t have children myself and while when I was younger I had a strong urge to, during single years I reconciled myself to it possibly not happening, and accepted that. Now I have a partner who would be happy to. I feel possibly that I’m less naive to the possibility nowadays that parenthood is very romanticised. Would you do it all again, if by some magic you found yourself back at the pre children stage of your life? What would you change if anything?

OP posts:
Moneypenny007 · 06/12/2019 19:10

Yes but I wish I didnt get pregnant so young. I was 20 when I had our first and in uni. While I managed, when the recession hit I wasn't able to up sticks and move to the other side of the world like the rest did. I sat it out and my career suffered. As a result we have never managed to get to a comfortable place financially.

Lweji · 06/12/2019 19:15

Definitely, although maybe not with the same dad, even if DS is lovely.
I might have pushed for a second too.

Oly4 · 06/12/2019 19:36

Yes, even though it’s very hard and I yearn for time to myself/with my partner.
I love my kids more than life itself and my life is richer because of them.

carly2803 · 06/12/2019 19:50

yes but i would have started younger! like 10 years younger!

I wanted 3/4

JoshuaTrees · 06/12/2019 19:55

Absolutely. I love having a family life, I love my kids, there are hard moments but these are massively out weighed by the more friar time and more intense highs that come with being a parent.

amy85 · 06/12/2019 21:35

Nope

teachermam · 06/12/2019 21:42

yes I would absolutely and I have started a couple of years earlier and had more trying for number 3 is proving difficult

dontcallmeduck · 06/12/2019 21:49

Absolutely. The only thing I’d do differently is attend NCT group beforehand as we didn’t know anyone else having babies, I’d also try to make more local friends sooner as it took me until my eldest started school

HolyheadBound · 06/12/2019 21:51

I love them more than anything in the world. But no, if I had my time again I wouldn’t. The environment, the rise of right wing politics - all terrifying. Wouldn’t do it.

They are amazing though.

Celebelly · 06/12/2019 21:53

DD is only 10mo but so far she has brought a meaning and love to my life that I didn't think was possible. It's the happiest I've ever been and knowing that that kind of feeling exists, I would definitely do it again Smile

FakeChristmasTreesaremynewnorm · 06/12/2019 21:56

I love my dd and have enjoyed having her but I feel like I am not a very good parent and she has only turned out so well by good luck rather than good judgement on my part. So knowing that I might be a bit wary unless I knew my luck would be the same.

VondaVomin · 06/12/2019 21:56

No and definitely not with exH

Celebelly · 06/12/2019 21:58

I also don't think the ' look how awful the world is' argument holds much weight for me personally. The only way things will improve is if we bring up new generations with the knowledge and understanding of how the planet needs to be looked after and how people should be treated. I prefer to look at having children as being part of the solution, not just part of the problem.

FoxFriend · 06/12/2019 22:04

Absolutely, though she’s only a few months old so I’m still very new to being a mum. If I could change anything, I’d have had her earlier. I was 29 when I got pregnant because I wanted to get established at work and my career was very important to me. Now we don’t think I’ll go back after maternity leave and I’d have twelve more if I could (I think we’ll stop at 3).

IdblowJonSnow · 06/12/2019 22:13

I would for myself but what with climate change etc, no I wouldn't now. The world just feels too unstable.
Sorry to be doom and gloom!

GruciusMalfoy · 06/12/2019 22:19

No, I probably wouldn't. I'm looking forward to them reaching adulthood and going off on their own. I find it difficult to be patient enough with kids, they're hard work.

dayswithaY · 06/12/2019 23:01

No, it's too hard and it's relentless. I love them and I think they're great but if I hadn't had them I wouldn't know any different. Motherhood is a big fat con.

HotWaterBottleAndABottleOfWine · 06/12/2019 23:13

Oh gosh yes! My two children are the best things to ever happen to me! I can't imagine life without them and the love I feel for them is something I have never felt before. Being a mum is the most incredible privilege and I am so lucky to have had this opportunity

WhoKnewBeefStew · 06/12/2019 23:14

Nope I wouldn't. I'm not maternal, I don't find it rewarding or easy.

WithTwilightAsMyGuide · 06/12/2019 23:16

Yes, the good times massively outweigh the hard parts. My twins make me happier than I thought possible and I may not be here if it wasn’t for them. They made my life worth living again.

sweetheartyparty · 06/12/2019 23:19

Absolutely without a doubt yes, my DD is everything I hoped for and more. We struggled for years with infertility so now I'm too old for any more but I dont have the yearning I used to.
She's the light if my life and a little wonder

Luxembourgmama · 07/12/2019 00:12

Yes I'd start younger and have more (I'm
38 and have two)

gamerchick · 07/12/2019 00:14

No.

Foghead · 07/12/2019 00:15

Yes definitely though I’d like to have been younger.

PurpleFlower1983 · 07/12/2019 00:22

Definitely! I had a very happy, fulfilled life before my DD was born but nothing prepared me for the sheer joy I feel being her mum, it’s the best thing ever.