To ask if you’d have kids again?

[FeckArseMerlot]

Just that really - would you have kids again, given the chance to make decisions again with the benefit of experience?

Don’t have children myself and while when I was younger I had a strong urge to, during single years I reconciled myself to it possibly not happening, and accepted that. Now I have a partner who would be happy to. I feel possibly that I’m less naive to the possibility nowadays that parenthood is very romanticised. Would you do it all again, if by some magic you found yourself back at the pre children stage of your life? What would you change if anything?

Absolutely yes.

I have 3 DC and my youngest started university when I was 48. This period of life is amazing, lots of long haul holidays during the term time and time with my DH. Then nice family time during the uni holiday. I don’t think I’d be appreciating life as much if I hadn’t had DC.

Yes - but I'd start earlier and have more! LOADS MORE!

Yes I would. My kids are my life. For me having a family was all I wanted. I feel so lucky to have a boy and a girl and to watch them both grow up. Don't get me wrong I see the world differently now. I had my first at 25 so was fairly young. I wish I had done more before having her like go on holidays etc. I didnt have parents that took us away so I never realised what I was missing out on. Now I have children I've done family holidays and I'm gutted I didn't realise how much I could of done!

Secondly you worry and worry when you have kids. Or at least I do. I don't mean constantly. But you kind of see things differently. Like you worry about them being healthy. Then you worry about them being nice people. Then you worry about them settling Into nursery/school etc. You look at the future and think teenagers and horrible these days and kids can be so cruel and you hope nobody hurts them. You hope they always have friends. You hope they never get depressed.

But in-between the worry there are, christmas' birthdays, Easter, weekends, summer days, park trips, holidays, days out, , watching them grow, watching them learn to read, talk, write, ride a bike, bake a cake, count, role play. There's hard days when they are poorly or having a moody day. But mostly it's a really special thing that o cherish. I can't imagine not having little people one day x

Yes. But I knew from my early teens I wanted kids. I waited until I was as ready as I could be. Neither DH or I earn loads so we do have financial worries, and there are times when I feel like I am just too tired or whatever to ‘do parenting’ but I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Yes, but if I had my time again I think I’d stop at two (with the caveat of loving DC3 to bits obvs). Now they are pre teen / teens, three is really hard!

Yes it was hugely important to me and although it hasn’t all been as ‘enjoyable’ as I thought it would be I love the ages they’re at now (primary). I wouldn’t be madly keen to go back to the toddler years.

Yes but I'd of left it a couple more years and had more sleep first so dh and I could of had a few more holidays first.

My two children (now young adults) are the greatest thing I have ever done in my life. I was mid thirties when I started (thinking 'just the one' then). I now wish I had started earlier as would definitely of had 3 (or poss more). BC (before children) I really didn't get it, and thought I could take or leave having children.
It may not be everyones experience, but I look now at the fabulous individuals they have become and think - 'I did that!' (with a little help from 'him indoors').
Now looking forward to grandchildren (in due course).

In a heartbeat. I’d have started younger and had more of them.

The only thing that might hold me back is that I now know that I am the carrier of a gene that can cause chronic pain and disability. Other than that, absolutely no regrets and would do the same again.
Yes, there is less me-time and more worry, but that's the same with anybody you love: partner, parents, friends. You always have to adapt a bit to another person. I enjoyed the challenge of having children and because dh and I were able to work as a team it brought us closer together. Like climbing a mountain together or sailing the ocean, I suppose: I have seen the wonderful man he can be when the going really gets tough.
The only thing I would change would be to be a bit more savvy about my career before I conceived. Not really about the time frame or anything; I just wasn't very good at pushing myself forward, I sat back and waited for people to see how good I was. Needless to say, they didn't.

Yes and another one who wishes I’d started earlier and had more.

Without a nanoseconds hesitation
And an extra one too please!

My first was at 29. Perfect for me

* We have no family and Ali have had to give up friends, career, alone time...*

Seems excessive. I’m a single parent with no parents.
But career? Friends? Absolutely. How has having children lost you friends?

I would definitely do it again. Best part of my life, without doubt. With hindsight, I'm really glad I left it so late, as I'd had a lot of fun partying and having a career that involved lots of travel, so was content to calm down and stay put without feeling I was missing out. Also I was quite neurotic when younger and calmed down a lot - better for DC.

The only thing I'd do differently is sort DH out earlier. I used to go along with whatever he said and in retrospect, the early years would have been much easier if I'd put my foot down and told him what we needed as a family rather than trying to persuade him to agree to stuff. These days I just announce stuff that I know we need to do or have and won't put up with him faffing for years over decisions on whether we need it or not.

With the benefit of hindsight I would have to say no. I love my son and he's wonderful but I am not a natural mother and every part of parenting is a struggle. I had all these ideas about what kind of mother I would be and I'm nothing like it. But he's stuck with me now. It's a big of the reason I will only be having one. Cost being another.

I would but older I was 16 and 18 when I had them poor choice. Then I had the last one at 37 has been fantastic not a single regret.

I’d do it again in a heart beat, after putting it off for so long because it looked like such hard work!

But, I’d be much more assertive about getting the house TOTALLY renovated before moving in with a 6 month old ( to one floor, one tap, a camping stove and a loo, I cried daily for months).

Yes, but about 5 years earlier. Then I wouldn't still be doing the school run in my 50s

With hindsight, I probably should have said to hell with university and career, found a nice farmer to marry and had about 7 kids

Yes I would, being a mother brings me a lot of joy!

Obviously there is the worry, tiredness etc etc but so worth it in my opinion.

Mine are 31 and 34 now, and I loved every stage. Wish I had more and we had such fun, I was fortunate enough to be a sahm, never regretted one thing.
Definitely not easy sailing, but always a light at the end of the tunnel.
I was 21 when I had my first and glad I had them that young, as had so much energy, plus from late 30s we had loads of time to do things independently.
Just awaiting grandchildren now, was hoping to be a nana in my 40s...Lol

@QueenofmyPrinces hey! I called the parallel universe first!

Oh and yes, would easily do it again if we were younger

Yes I would. But I would also have got help for my misophonia before I had kids and gone into it eyes (or ears as the case turned out to be) wide open and better protected. it's been a difficult road.