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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the Tesco's cashier was out of order?

247 replies

Youngmamaa2 · 05/12/2019 14:47

Iv just been shopping with DS 2yo and DD 9months, both sat in the trolly. I went to go pay, the cashier asked how many bags I'd like, I told him how many. Both kids where been quiet,minding their own business in the trolly. The cashier looks at them and turns to me and says "they don't look like brothers at all"...
Fair enough getting the gender wrong, shes not got alot of hair & was in a brown coat.
But to make me feel abit shit that they don't look alike.
Both kids have the same dad. Just my son is bright blonde hair blue eyes and the double of his dad and DD is mousy brown hair and dark eyes, like me.
Aibu to think this comment was out of line? It's bothering me 😕

OP posts:
paap1975 · 05/12/2019 15:30

They have to make conversation with you or they can be reprimanded. Probably just ran of inspiration and was a bit clumsy as a result. I spent my entire childhood being told I looked nothing like my sister. I am not traumatised by it and I don't believe my mother was either.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 05/12/2019 15:30

FFS!

81Byerley · 05/12/2019 15:30

I knew three boys a few years ago that were definitely with both their natural parents, but who didn't look like either of them or each other. One white blond, one black hair, one red hair. Mum dark hair, dad mousey brown.
I don't understand why you'd be offended, really.

Doggodogington · 05/12/2019 15:30

So a cashier saying that they don’t look alike (when you’ve said they don’t look alike) made you feel shit? Confused

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 05/12/2019 15:32

Crown HmmCrown HmmCrown Hmm

wafflyversatile · 05/12/2019 15:32

They are just making conversation. Maybe it wouldn't win any prizes for conversational gambit of the year but it doesn't really seem like it merits frothing over.

Pinkandgreenfloral · 05/12/2019 15:32

I was out with my dark haired children and blonde toddler, and was told,he didn’t look like he belonged to us at all !
People are just plain rude 😂

Pinkandgreenfloral · 05/12/2019 15:33

It annoyed me too 😀

Goldenchildsmum · 05/12/2019 15:34

It was way too personal a comment to make in my book. But your defensiveness is a bit odd.

MinervaSaidThat · 05/12/2019 15:35

Comments can be misinterpreted. I once told someone they really look their mother. They were offended because mum is old Hmm

Spitsandspots · 05/12/2019 15:35

YABVU

I’m petite and blonde. DSis is a tall brunette. She takes after mum, I take after dad. We still get people saying we don’t look like sisters.......because we don’t. We are the wrong side of 40 and it wouldn’t occur to us to be offended. Because it’s NOT offensive. Confused

msmith501 · 05/12/2019 15:35

No it was not a shitty thing to say. Words are only shitty when said with intent to offend. I imagine she's bored as hell and trying to lighten up her day and yours by making polite but meaningless conversation. She was not meaning anything by it other than one child probably takes after one parent and vice versa. Plenty of adopted / foster kids don't look like each other and their are huge parts of the world where children have lost their parents through war and famine. Please grow a sense of perspective and foster some humility.

Sparklyboots · 05/12/2019 15:37

My HV advised me against giving DD my surname while DS has DP's surname because 'everyone will think they have different fathers'. I asked her did she think it would be an issue if they did? She want able to say what she thought the problem was with that

Monday55 · 05/12/2019 15:37

You agree yourself that the kids don't look alike, so there's nothing to be offended about. You need to change your mindset.

ProfessorSlocombe · 05/12/2019 15:37

Well that's "Tescos" trending for free for a few hours Grin ...

SVRT19674 · 05/12/2019 15:39

Stupid comment. I would have answered her: that's because your husband fathered the second.

Chloemol · 05/12/2019 15:39

Why is it a shitty thing to say? They were making conversation, stop being so touchy

Chloemol · 05/12/2019 15:41

And actually thinking about it, if we all continue in this vein, getting touchy about any comment anyone makes then no one will talk to anyone in case they get offended

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/12/2019 15:41

It wouldn't have bothered me at all.

Devereux1 · 05/12/2019 15:43

But to make me feel abit shit that they don't look alike.

Hmm Why did you choose to have that reaction to something said about similarities?

raffle · 05/12/2019 15:46

Is it good if your kids look similar? I didn’t know!

Oakmaiden · 05/12/2019 15:47

Cashier has no right to make personal comments and should have received training about this.

Yeah, cos Tesco train their cashiers to make polite conversation...

RufusthebewiIderedreindeer · 05/12/2019 15:48

Sorry ellis i missed that

Rachel438 · 05/12/2019 15:48

hahahaha

Jesus Mary and Joseph

So many people enjoy over reacting to absolutely nothing.

YABU OP and honestly?? A bit pathetic and dim witted as are several other posters on this thread

ohprettybaby · 05/12/2019 15:49

It was harmless chat. Try not to feel offended - I'm pretty sure she didn't mean anything by it. I think you are a little too sensitive.

My DM's neighbour's family comprises a white woman with blonde hair and blue eyes and her DH who is mixed race (part indian and part white) so dark hair and brown eyes. They have 2 sons - one with her colouring and one with his. They look nothing alike but are biological brothers.

It wasn't an insult. It was just an off the cuff comment.