To think the Tesco's cashier was out of order?

[Youngmamaa2]

Iv just been shopping with DS 2yo and DD 9months, both sat in the trolly. I went to go pay, the cashier asked how many bags I'd like, I told him how many. Both kids where been quiet,minding their own business in the trolly. The cashier looks at them and turns to me and says "they don't look like brothers at all"...
Fair enough getting the gender wrong, shes not got alot of hair & was in a brown coat.
But to make me feel abit shit that they don't look alike.
Both kids have the same dad. Just my son is bright blonde hair blue eyes and the double of his dad and DD is mousy brown hair and dark eyes, like me.
Aibu to think this comment was out of line? It's bothering me 😕

Why is it a shitty thing to say? My two look completely different, lots of people commented that they didn't look like brother and sister (although DD and her childhood best friend were often mistaken for sisters), there is nothing to be offended about.

Op, I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it, and people say this to me sometimes as mine are quite different. It’s upset you though and it’s not for anyone else to tell you how you should feel.

YABU.

I dont think it was a shitty thing to say at all, just sounds like conversation. I dont look like my siblings, none of us really look alike but that fact doesnt offend us.

@RufusthebewiIderedreindeer

Simle answer.... "haha I know, one looks like me, one looks like dad"

People are far too sensitive these days.

Why are people presuming it was a woman when the op says it was ‘him’?

"Oh, they're not brothers! I just found this one in the car park."

Isn't it just making conversation though? Some people aren't very good at making conversation - I am one of them. This kind of comment wouldn't really register with me I don't think. I'd just say "no they don't" or something and forget about it. Even if one had been adopted as a pp said, surely it's just a pretty harmless comment to make.. like saying "they look like twins" - I've heard people say this a lot when two siblings look similar. It's just stuff people say, not really negative or harmful, more neutral and mundane imo.

Some people say my kids all look alike, the next group say none of them look alike at all then I have others who say my eldest kids are the spitting image of my husband before they know he isn't biologically related whatsoever.

The cashier was just making conversation and no malice was meant.

turkey

I hadn’t even seen that!

Poor form

OP she was presuming they were "brothers" although actually brother and sister, therefor she was presuming the do have the same dad, just commenting on how different they look. Why does that offend you?

I had this with my 2 oldest 1 was bright blonde other dark brown it didn't bother me
It only ever bothered me when ppl asked if thy had different dads

@majorcolly
I know that thanks, I can read 😂
I was pointing out siblings. Don't always look like each other. Who cares? More important things to worry about

I am a childminder. I regularly have a double buggy, I get people say all the time "oh they look so alike" the children look nothing alike and none of them are related 🤷‍♀️

my son is bright blonde hair blue eyes and the double of his dad and DD is mousy brown hair and dark eyes, like me

You’ve said in your post they don’t look alike. So why are you offended when someone else says they don’t look alike?

YANBU. No need for the cashier to make that comment at all

Oops just realise I didn't copy and paste the correct thing up thread 😂

hugs

Still reckon i prefer shitty small talk like ‘is it still cold outside...it ws freezing this morning” or ‘ having a good day’ than a personal observation

Plus i know how to answer the above

I'm sure he/she didn't mean to offend and was just making a passing comment. Think you are being oversensitive about nothing if you want my honest opinion.

Did anyone read the thread and missing the obvious, he said they don't look like BROTHERS, it was a boy and girl sibling. I am taking it OP your bothered because he thought your daughter was a little boy more so than them looking nothing alike??

I dont think my post indicated that im sensitive

I usually get accused of the opposite

It’s just small talk, what I thing to consider “shitty” - you must spend a lot of your day upset!

• yes I know, this one’s the spit of their dad
• oh that one’s my friend’s boy, I’m babysitting
• it’s so lovely that you get the surprise of never knowing what they’ll look like, isn’t it?!

There are plenty of ways the conversation could develop. Poor woman was just making conversation.

Personally I’d like to think I’d say “I know! It’s what the game away and why I’m single now ”, and then have a little giggle with them about pulling their leg.

I think your reaction is a bit OTT, so YABU

My first two boys were born less than a year apart, same dad, one has golden blonde hair, blue eyes (from dh) and my olive skin. Second has brown hair and brown eyes (from me) and pale skin. They don't look alike and I wouldn't take offence if someone pointed it out.
Are you offended because you think they were insinuating you had two children close together by two men?

‘Fair enough getting the gender wrong, shes not got alot of hair & was in a brown coat.
But to make me feel abit shit that they don't look alike.
Both kids have the same dad. Just my son is bright blonde hair blue eyes and the double of his dad and DD is mousy brown hair and dark eyes, like me.

I think this may be more to do with you how you describe your dd. Not much hair and mousy as opposed to DS’s ‘bright’ hair? You seem to favour DS’s looks. I’m sure they’re both beautiful though.