To think the Tesco's cashier was out of order?

[Youngmamaa2]

Iv just been shopping with DS 2yo and DD 9months, both sat in the trolly. I went to go pay, the cashier asked how many bags I'd like, I told him how many. Both kids where been quiet,minding their own business in the trolly. The cashier looks at them and turns to me and says "they don't look like brothers at all"...
Fair enough getting the gender wrong, shes not got alot of hair & was in a brown coat.
But to make me feel abit shit that they don't look alike.
Both kids have the same dad. Just my son is bright blonde hair blue eyes and the double of his dad and DD is mousy brown hair and dark eyes, like me.
Aibu to think this comment was out of line? It's bothering me 😕

The cashier was making pretty shit attempt at small talk but your own admission the children don’t look at all alike. I don’t really understand why you’re dwelling on this.

ellis

Op didnt say it was a shitty comment

Just that it made her feel like shit

Personally I wouldnt get upset, id just think it was a pointless comment, lots of posters appear to disagree

You must really struggle to get through the day if you can take offence at that. It isn’t as if he said one is clean and beautifully dressed and the other filthy is it.

When I brought toddler ds2 to pick up 4yo ds1 from school, the reception teacher took one look at him and said "you only make them in the one model then?"

Maybe I should have been offended? I thought it was funny. Even though they don't look particularly alike to my eye.

I don't understand why this would bother you? It's not a requirement for kids to look alike! FWIW my boys both look completely different one fair skinned blonde and blue eyed (my eggs) and the other brown eyed with olive skin (donor eggs) no one has ever mentioned them looking different in a negative way

Do you always say or do the right thing? If not, then it is reasonable to allow others to make mistakes too. People are not perfect, we all say the wrong thing sometimes and expect others to not dwell on it.

It’s rude, judgey and you were right to feel offended

How about being told ‘you’re huge! You must be carrying twins!’ at the spa? This was a few weeks after I miscarried one of the twins.

I’m not super sensitive, but that one really hurt me for some reason. I sent an email to the spa chain (Gina Conway) asking them to remind staff not to pass comments like that as that might be sensitive and hurtful.

They never graced me with a reply. I’ve never gone back.

Why are you so easily bothered ?

I don’t look like my siblings and they don’t look like each other either. We’ve all got the same mum & dad though.
Nothing to get upset/ worked up over. YABU.

I don't know the average number of people that a cashier serves per hour/shift - but I'd rather they take the trouble to think of an individual thing to say to each customer rather than stare straight through you or come out with the same mundane greeting to each new customer.
(especially if its 'Have a nice day')

I'm sure that the cashier didn't intend to offend you.
There are times when I'm a bit down that even an anglicised version of 'Have a nice day' can be hard work - but I'm certain there is no ill-will behind the comment.

I really feel for people that are depressed at this time of year, when simple christmas wishes and music playing could bring down their mood further.

That said, i was in a gallery shop earlier in the week and even in the christmas section, they were playing very un-christmassy Blondie tracks - wery welcome!

I was always rather pleased when people commented that I didn't look like my brother.

If they don't look alike, why are you upset?

My 3 kids look alike but I don't look like my kids so people are wary to label me as their mum unless they hear them call me mum iyswim.

It's just small talk. You admit that they don't look alike yourself so you can't get angry really.

YABU

@RufusthebewiIderedreindeer she did - not in the OP, but her second post (third in the thread)

Just conversation. Thats all. Not rude. Not shitty

God, teachers at my primary school said the same to my mum about my brothers who happen to be twins about 25 years ago. She didn't get all affronted, calm yourself.

You are completely oversensitive. How is it rude of offensive? You have said yourself they dont look alike. Its not like she said one is pretty and one is ugly or that they have 2 different dads, just that they dont look alike.

It was just mundane small talk wasn't it? I would have laughed, said yeah they're both pretty different arent they, and kept packing the shopping away. Why does it both you so much?

YABU. My brother looked absolutely nothing like myself or his brother. He had absolutely no similarities to anybody in the wider family, in fact he looks so different we used to joke that he must have been the milkman's. Then his own son was born and he is an identikit for our father- really strange genetics..

Trying to make small talk, was tactless therefore failed.
Who cares what she / he thinks?
You’ll be fielding a lot worse before you’ve done.

Why was it a shitty thing to say? Do you think she was suggesting you were a rancid whore?

Perhsps op thinks the cashier was implying that she had procreated with 2 different men which op takes as an insult?!

q