AIBU to ask some birth story questions?

[SmoothOrange]

I am currently just over 3 months pregnant with my first baby, and to be honest I am stating to shit myself!

I know it is going to hurt, like really really hurt but I was wondering if someone could give me a bit more info on this.

So the labour pains are the contractions right? Excruciating stomach pains?

What I wanted to know is, when you are pushing and experiencing that "ring of fire", how long does this go on for? surely once baby has crowned it doesn't take that long to push it out?

Argh! I am so scared about the pain, and something going wrong.

If you discovered you were pregnant again, what would you choose (if you could choose)

A: Vaginal birth with epidural
B: Vaginal birth with no epidural
C: C section
D: I would never go through that pain ever again!

I just want to be fully prepared for what will happen because at the moment none of it seems real!

Whilst I don't particularly want to hear horrendous horror stories, feel free to share your experiences :)

Also, do pelvic floor exercises make the birth go easier?

I know I have a very high pain threshold, so my experiences may not be relevant. I did hypnobirthing training before my first. I don't think I got into the state of mind that it is meant to achieve, but it was still useful. I also use a tens machine and I think it was this that allowed me to get through without and gas and air or anything else.

As this is your first birth, I will describe that:

1 week late.
Baby with large head who didn't engage until after my due date and broke my waters when he did. This instigated a very long drawn out labour over the course of 3 days and 2 nights.
I visited the hospital twice before he was born and was sent home each time for not being in sufficiently established labour (first time was a routine overdue appointment at which they confirmed that my waters had broken, second time my contractions had been 10-15 minutes apart for 24 hours. There was some argument about whether and when I should be given antibiotics, but there was no bed available because they were busy (full moon) so I went home.

When I was finally was in established labour they were too busy to admit me, so we drove to a neighbouring town.

Hospital staff were concerned about how long I had been in labour for and a lack of progress, so wanted to give me induction drugs, epidural and put me flat on a bed in stirrups. I couldn't face this. The idea of lying down was completely impossible for me. Monitor of baby's heartbeat kept falling off, so while it seemed to be fine, they couldn't be sure. We discussed induction drugs again and reached a compromise. Induction drugs but no epidural and stirrups. The drugs are meant to double every 10 minutes or something, but they agreed to monitor progress before increasing the dose. Baby was born without a need to increase the dose.

My labour was a marathon rather than a sprint. Sheer physical exhaustion was a large factor. The pain Mande sense, like pain from pushing yourself during exercise - I could visualise the muscular changes that were happening. I don't remember ring of fire but I do remember thinking that non one told me that delivery was going to feel like doing a massive poo. My baby's head was not at all conical shaped when born and he had a hand up as if he had been waving or sucking his thumb. I think these contributed to the length of the delivery.

Pain is a very individual thing. Some people are naturally tougher than others, but you also have to listen to your body. A friend with really sharp labour pains and no progress had an emergency delivery which reveals the baby's cord rapped four times around his neck. The cord was tugging on the placenta with each contraction. He could not have been born naturally without placenta abruption and strangulation.

I'm not going to lie... It was bloody painful!
I went in at 39 weeks with reduced movements, and scan showed he had stopped growing at 37 weeks, so I was induced.
In from the Wednesday, trying to get me started, eventually by Friday night I was like 1 or 2cm, so they could break my waters the next morning.

Went down at 10am, broke waters, contractions were all in my back for around 4 hours, I was managing with the pain on my own, but then everything just stopped at 4cm.
Baby was distressed, so I was. Told I had to have the drip, and that I would get around 6 contractions every 10 mins, and it could take another 6 hours to get my to 10cm.

No way I could go another 6 hours with pain like it so I had an epidural.

The epidural initially didn't work, and I was in so much pain down one side.
The came. Back and topped it all up, finally settled, and when checked at 1am I was 10cm, didn't get the ring of fire feeling with an epidural, they tell you when to push.

So id Defo have an epidural again (fingers crossed it works properly next time!)

All I can say, is try not to think and worry too much, my thinking was this baby needs to come out, so whatever has to happen has to Happen.
Seemed to get me through .

Good luck!

Two planned sections, and two virtually pain free deliveries. I was rested, had no adverse effects from the spinal, lost minimal blood in theatre and had really easy recoveries. Out visiting friends and shopping pain free (was taking painkillers just on case but never really had pain) within a few days.

Its not for everyone I appreciate but it was an incredibly positive and pleasant experience for me.

Worse part for me was early labour with DC1. It went on for about 36h and I was in absolute agony. Yet hospital wouldn't have me in as my contractions didn't get closer than every 5 minutes. They only agreed to assess me when I lost some if my waters (was 6cm, baby head acting as a plug so waters never went proper)

The actual delivery was very empowering.

I had a quick, natural labour and delivery with DC2 and an induction with DC3. The latent labour at home with DC1 was still the "worst" for me.

Enjoyed the pushing part with all 3 kids. I felt so strong, so in control and yes just really powerful!! No tears or grazes with any of them either.

Never had an epidural with any of mine but did have some diamorphine with DC1. Was meant to help me sleep, just made me feel off my tits and I was chatting shit to anyone who would listen

The pain us like nothing i have ever felt. I was traumatised for months after.

You know it will be bad, but nothing preapres you for how bad. I managed the first 20 hours at home before going to the hospital at 6cm. I thought that some drugs would help but they connected me to a drip and all i felt was intense pain in my lower stomach for another 17 hours. In the end i could feel them cutting my vagina and putting the suction cap on the babys head. I felt everything.

I think that if it was a short labour then i could have coped with it but when its been 37 hours of intense pain, its all just too much.

Good luck to you. I hope you are one of those lucky people who dont find labour too bad.

Look into hypnobirthing. I thought it was all a bit hippy but honestly it made so much sense and really helped me prepare.

My first born I had a c section as she was breech. Scary when you don't know what to expect but not that horrific in the end.

Second one was natural and nowhere near as painful as many people make out. I 100% believe it's down to mindset and everything hypnobirthing talks about. Contractions are very manageable if you get your breathing and focus right. Once I was pushing I wasn't in any pain or discomfort at all and I had no pain relief. It was just really tiring hard work. In the end I needed ventouse to help him out and stitches but that wasn't so bad, just a bit uncomfortable down below for a couple of weeks after. Recommend a spray called spritz for bits to help heal and soothe and lavender in the bath

Would choose natural over c section any time because of less painful recovery after

How can people say its not painful? They must have magic uterus' etc. It was the most horrific pain i have ever felt.

As PP have said, research positive birth stories and Hypnobirthing. There is a great channel on YouTube called “Positive Birth Company” which has lots of really useful videos and info.

I would also take some antenatal classes and/or read some books about labour. I recommend Clemmie Hooper’s “How to grow a baby and push it out”, she’s a midwife and mum of 4.

I didn’t find labour all that painful, just tough work and exhausting. I had a BIG baby (almost 10lbs) and managed to get away with just a couple of minor tears - I think down to the perineal massage I did (google it) and also from having a water birth.

In terms of pain relief, I had pethadine, gas and air, and I would say the warm pool was more effective than either of those!

Good luck!

It is painful, but honestly I had a kidney infection in my 20s that lasted a week and was so bad I was hallucinating. I would say that was worse than labour which I managed with a tens machine.

I had two water births, one with no drugs, one with gas and air. Laboured in my back completely.
If I had another (don’t want one) I’d try for the same again.

I have fast births though, last one was only 2 hours and mostly without contractions. It would be completely different if they were long labours and I would probably go for an epidural. Didn’t want pethidine at all

For me-- it was painful yet oddly manageable. 6 hours from first contractions to birth. I didn't really have an early labour, so my contractions came on quite strong in a short amount of time. I pushed for about 20 minutes, it says in my notes somewhere exactly how long but I've forgotten. I had gas & air, and pethidine which did nothing--. I didn't tear, but I had a minor graze which cleared up within 3/4 days.

I'm not ready for anymore DC yet but if I do, I'd ideally want a natural vaginal birth.

Not sure WTF happened with the line through everything I just posted.

I've had 3 vaginal births. I hadn't heard that many horror stories so think I went in a bit unprepared. I only felt the ring of fire once, only lasted about 2 minutes but shocked me enough to panic and did help me push. Used gas and air and diamorphine (diamorphine really helped to take edge off) I expected period cramps but reality was far worse for me. First two babies were 8.5lb and third 10lb. Everybody's experiences will be different but after it all you do forget and I'd still have another one now! Good luck.

I would also say the being induced and the hormone drip ramps contractions up so pain is worse, almost unbearable. Insist on pain relief when you want it.

I have a 9.5 month old DD and honestly, I quite enjoyed the labour/birth. The contractions are the worst part but you have a break in between where the pain eases. The final ones are bad but pushing is a relief. I was very happy with my experience. The pool was amazing!

ELCS, best thing in the world! I've had trips to the dentist that were more uncomfortable. It only took 25mins (I looked at a clock over the doorway of the operating theatre when being wheeled in and out) and I had no pain or nausea whatsoever. Once the spinal anesthesia started working it felt like stepping into a warm bath and everything was bliss afterwards. I was so uncomfortable from the final part of pregnancy with aches, pains, constipation, constant need to pee/UTIish feeling...and the spinal literally took that all away and the discomfort never came back.

The procedure was fantastic but recovery from a CS was very painful. However given the choice, I would have done it exactly the same way because I felt so empowered from an ELCS. Everything went accordingly to plan and I felt my wishes were respected every step of the way. I didn't want to risk any type of birth injury or trauma and that was exactly what happened.

I was very lucky that my body bounced back to exactly how it was before pregnancy...zero bladder/bowel issues, no tearing or damage "down there" and actually weigh slightly less than before pregnancy. I credit the ELCS with a huge part of that. The painful recovery took about 6 weeks but I've already forgotten all the details. I find 6 weeks is a small price to pay for a lifetime of pride about my body and not being frustrated or upset about lasting health issues. (This is obviously not anti natural-birth but just stating the facts about my own experience)

Every birth is different with my first I was I Labour all day and found the contractions difficult to cope with so got an epidural, jad to get stitches and found it took me a while to get up and moving again, with my second time I had twins(twin 2 was breach) I had no epidural I had no choice all together 3 hours between my first contraction and them been born barley made it to the deliver room, afterwards had no stitches was up and moving about two hours after the birth and genuinely felt better in myself, every birth is different but if your undecided included it on your birthplan it's no harm 😀if it makes u feel better and more relaxed about the birth of your baby
Congratulations 😀

I would recommend renting a TENS machine and having some paracetamol handy for early labour, I held off taking anything for as long as I could, but as soon as it became more than just a bit uncomfortable, it helped immensely. With the TENS I managed to stay active during early labour, and only went on to gas and air when I was well on the way (and I'm a massive wimp when it comes to pain!). I found being in the water absolutely amazing, but I had complications and had to have surgery, and the spinal was absolutely incredible. If I were you I would make sure you're at a hospital rather than an MLU, and be open minded. My friend was obsessed with the idea of a water birth, but when it came to it she got straight out as she hated it. Have options such as the potential for a birthing pool if you think you might want it, but also for an epidural if you think you might want one of those. What I wish I had done more was to speak up, if you're finding it hard to cope (not saying you will btw), and if you're uncomfortable tell the midwife. It is painful, but I enjoyed it.

I did hypnobirthing and used tens.

As my labour was back to back it was slow going and took 4 days to get to 10 cm.

The pain for me was like an intense period pain that last a few mins but reached a maximum point and then fell away.

By the time I got to pushing I actually couldn't feel anything (possibly the tens?) and had to ask my husband (then dp) to tell me when the contractions were showing on the monitor so I could push.

As I had no other pain releif and was going to tear due to back to back the MW gave me local anaesthetic around the area so I did not feel the tear.

I had gas and air for the stitches so they weren't traumatic.

I think the hypnobirthing helped me to stay calm and that helped me--everyone is different though.

It was however extremely exhausting and I have got injuries like pelvic floor issues and had an umbilical hernia (now repaired)

For me, I was induced at 42 weeks. Shortly after the induction I started feeling what felt like period pains which got stronger and stronger. After 12 hours of this, they gave me more gel to speed things up, and once they did the really intense lower stomach pain started, and i thought oh god this is too much, and then 2 minutes of a break and then another, 2 minutes then another one. This went on for a further 8 hours and I honestly thought the relentless and the lack of any kind of let up in between was almost unbearable. Finally after 22 hours from the start of induction I was able to go down to the labour room and only at that stage could I get pain relief. The epidural was the most amazing thing ever! I had a further 5 hours of pushing as the baby was completely stuck, but all i could feel was a slight pressure. I had an episitomy to eventually get her out. I would go vaginal with epidural again but just pray I don't have to be induced.

@SmoothOrange
Best description I can give us have you ever been constipated and you finally
Manage to start getting rid of a big 💩 and it hurts and you wish you hadn’t
It’s kinda more intense version of that , I was okay in a lovely quick labour bar the last couple of hours but never got to the point of not coping thankfully

The worst pain was hips feeling like they were going to explode and the ring of fire

I did think At one point “I have changed my mind “ but I also knew that I may be laughed at if I said it out loud ... once the baby crowned it was such a relief

I would do it again a year on as the reward is so worth it

I had natural with just some gas and air . Epidural was out of the question because I was to far along so didn’t bother asking in fact water birth went out the window to.

For me I had a rough idea of what I wanted ( water birth) ideally no epidural as husband was worried something would go wrong and I would be paralysed ... ( someone he knew had problems though they are fine now to my knowledge ) but despite him saying your not having one I can assure you I was ready to ask for it if I wanted it/ was available, for example If my labour had been longer I have little doubt I would have asked for it ... but I didn’t have any of it, and that was ok as I didn’t have my heart set on anything.

And the ham and toast and cup
Of tea at the end will be the best you have ever tasted.

I zoned out alit between contractions just went to my happy place ( which is in bed with a cup of tea snuggled up to my cat apparently ) the mind has a wonderful way of giving you a rest and taking your mind of things.

You will be fine and you will amaze yourself.

I would now say stop reading stories like me and just enjoy the pregnancy ( if you can ) your labour will be unique ... have a vague idea of how you want it to go but don’t think anything is off the table.

Warm baths , birthing ball and maternity tens machine got me through the first parts at home if that helps it’s amazing how much relief they give.

Big congratulations op, and you will be amazing and if you need all the drugs it’s because your labour needs it ... I got lucky 🍀 I am glad we live in a time where we have options

I had a birth at home with no pain killers at all, not even paracetamol.

I pushed for 6 hours which was a bit intense but I wouldn't change it for the world.

It really didn't hurt that much, I had a ovarian cysts burst and back backs which were much worse.

I'd do it that way again in a heartbeat.

I look back on the birth with very fond memories and am sad I'll never get to do it again.

When labour starts your crying thinking I've changed my mind this is too painful ..,help and this continues for 2 days . Then your vagina rips you need stitches and that's soo painful but your hugging your beautiful baby and you forget about it !

For me contractions were like really bad period cramps in lower stomach and back. Laboured at home until 4cm. Tried gas and air at hospital but it made me vomit. Tbh the pain was bad but not unbearable but I was afraid of what would come so I went for a walking epidural. It was lovely and I managed to sleep. However it definitely really slowed the birth down and it took another 20 hours for baby to come after epidural. It had definitely worn off a bit by the time baby crowned. Agree with PP that it felt like pushing out a massive poo and by that point the pain was worst in my butt cheeks and down the back of my thighs!

I pushed for 2 hours which was exhausting and turned out baby’s neck was stuck behind my hip anyway, so consultant had to turn him and use ventouse with episiotomy. I was 2 mins away from an Emergency CS.

Felt no pain after he was born for next 2 days, even refused all pain meds at hospital. Then I got home and ouch!