AIBU to ask some birth story questions?

[SmoothOrange]

I am currently just over 3 months pregnant with my first baby, and to be honest I am stating to shit myself!

I know it is going to hurt, like really really hurt but I was wondering if someone could give me a bit more info on this.

So the labour pains are the contractions right? Excruciating stomach pains?

What I wanted to know is, when you are pushing and experiencing that "ring of fire", how long does this go on for? surely once baby has crowned it doesn't take that long to push it out?

Argh! I am so scared about the pain, and something going wrong.

If you discovered you were pregnant again, what would you choose (if you could choose)

A: Vaginal birth with epidural
B: Vaginal birth with no epidural
C: C section
D: I would never go through that pain ever again!

I just want to be fully prepared for what will happen because at the moment none of it seems real!

Whilst I don't particularly want to hear horrendous horror stories, feel free to share your experiences :)

Also, do pelvic floor exercises make the birth go easier?

Don't assume anything. Make your peace before you're due that whatever you're thinking will probably be nothing like what you experience. I only have one. I had a nice birth plan, but virtually nothing on it happened. I started experiencing contractions 3 days before I actually had my dd. This meant I had little sleep and by the time I was in the maternity unit I was knackered. I had all of ten minutes in the birthing pool before my daughter was showing as distressed and they blue lighted me to the main hospital. I ended up having an emergency c section. Saying all that I did not feel in any way cheated or upset by that. I had minimal pain after day 2 of the birth and no problems with the scar or anything.
Don't over think anything, what will be will be and you just have to deal with it as it arrives.

I had a long back to back labour. Was fine with the pain and breathing through it hypnobirthing style until my waters broke (after 2 days of contractions and no sleep!) and the contractions ramped up to every 2 minutes - it was like intense cramps in my back and pelvis. I was exhausted and in a lot of pain so I had an epidural. 24 hours later, still no baby appeared and it was in distress because of the long labour, so emergency c section it was.

I'm optimistic and going to try for a natural, no pain relief water birth next time, but am fully prepared that it might not go that way again.

I'm having my baby next month and starting to shit myself so this is really helpful.

The only pain relief available in the country I live in is an epidural which I really don't want.

They have a bath tub in the room though.

I've only had one baby. I had a vaginal birth with an epidural. I managed 12.5 hours with nothing but a TENS machine (which was really good). By the time I got to hospital I was already 6cms and so I decided on an epidural as I thought if I left it longer it could be too late to get one. Highly recommend getting one. I was up and about a few hours after the birth, however I did need a ventouse delivery which sometimes happens with an epidural.

I've had four. One induced with an epidural (first and best birth), second just gas and air (good but hurt a lot!), third induced and horrendous, forth induced ending in c-section, good birth but awful recovery! The answer is, every woman is different, every birth is different. Go in with an open mind, if you get induced consider pain relief as it's more painful contraction wise. Also, I've had four so it can't be that bad.

I had agreed to an epidural because I was due to be induced, my waters having broken 24 hours before with no contractions. A pessary did the job in the end though, no drip needed, and I'm glad I didn't need one as the thought of them messing with my spine made me feel sick.

I had a fast labour (not much over 3 hours) and the crowning was fast as they wanted him out so I had an episiotomy. Like others I found crowning a relief because we were 90% done with the whole shebang!

I'd choose B.
Yes the contractions hurt but all being well it is intense - very intense - but productive.

When you want to push, it certainly hurts but it's like a totally different feeling, a kind of compulsion, and I can't really describe the feeling of the baby coming out.

It's so hard to put into words. If you told me I'd have to give birth again tomorrow I'd be quiet chuffed. I just never want to do a pregnancy ever again!

Sorry, meant to say I don't want another baby but not because of labour.

Read the positive birth book. Honestly changed my perception of birth. I had a lovely straight forward birth and put it down to that birth. Final stages of birth for me didn’t hurt. You can do this!

Another shout for a tens machine! Best £20 I ever spent.

I had very quick and easy labours with botb my dds. I didn't realise I was in labour with both until 6cms. Firstborn labour was 1 hour 25mins and second labour 45mins. Aparently my pain threshold is very high.
However I do remember the burning ring of fire. But it doenst last that long and by that stage pushing gives relief.
Try not to Iver think or panic. You will suprise youself how much you can handle. Good luck x

A nap at 9cm?!! That is unbelievable.

I have had 3 vaginal births (last one was a 10lb back to back position).
They were all fine. The first and third I had g&a and pethadine. Pethadine is wonderful - it made me fall asleep and wake up pushing!

I would say labour pain is huge. However, it's usually only a day.

I was very relaxed and calm which I think helped massively. I would advise hypnobirthing if you are feeling a wee anxious.

4 vaginal births here. One with stitches. Drug free no gas and air. The calmer you are the easier it is. Obviously that doesn't guarentee everything going straightforward but if you are calm baby is less likely to be distressed an dyou can make better decisions for you. Breathing is so important. Breathe through the contractions and grab something and really focus on the contraction. Let it wash over your whole body. Don't tense up as that makes the pain worse. I can't advise on pain relief as I never had nor was offered any. I tried gas and air once and made me throw up.

I wouldn't call it hypnobirthing but maybe controlled breathing?

1st labour 8 hours. 4 of those hours active. 20 minutes pushing
2nd labour induced 7 hour labour. 3 of those hours active labour 20 minute pushing.
3rd labour 7 hour labour 4 of those hours active labour 15 minutes pushing.
4th labour 4 hours labour. 20 minutes of active labour. 5 minutes pushing.

Stitches with 1st 2nd degree tear

Well D isn't an option so I say A.
I have had 3 vaginal births and believe that it's important to know you might be fine but you might not. Here are my massively abbreviated stories:
1 - 24 hour labour, 6 at home, 12 at midwife led unit, 6 in hospital. It was a back-to-back labour, excruciating for the 12 hours at the unit and not progressing, so I needed a drip, epidural, ventouse and episiotomy. I found it really traumatic.
2 - 4 hours of pain, 30 mins in a midwife led unit with just gas and air, but my waters had gone over 24 hours before. I had a TENS this time which was great, but got me to 10cm and the drive to the hospital was scary!
3 -TENS again. Slow start but bearable. Got to the unit and pain ramped up. Turned out it was back-to-back again but no time to go to hospital. Delivered with just gas and air and a 3rd degree tear. It was nightmarish. 1.5hours pushing.

In short, my advice would be to use TENS and gas and air. I tried for water all 3 times but 1+3 were too slow, 2 was too quick. The epidural was amazing. I never ever ever ever want to do it again. I found the pain terrifying each time. But if I had to I would definitely choose an epidural.
Good luck!

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP!

I had a water birth with DS. My contraction were at the front and were extreme tightening across my bump. Hard to explain. Very intense once they got going but bareable. I found I needed to sit during them where lots of people find moving around helps. Once I got in the pool they eased. Warm water helped loads. I used gas and air. No ring of fire. Felt the urge to push and was encouraged to do so. I did tear and am sure it was the pushing that made this worse. In my case, I think he would have come out anyway. I could feel my body doing its thing. Weird and amazing. Once I was in hospital, I wasn’t in the least bit scared. I arrived around 6.30pm and DS was born at 10.30pm. At 4 my contraction though very frequent were not that intense. By 7pm they had ramped up considerably but as I say once in the water I was ok. The midwife was saying well had better turn the fan off as this baby will be here soon!’ I had no idea I was so close. It’s amazing how they can tell. I wasn’t examined after I got in the water although the heartbeat became more central and lower as he moved down.

I never once said never again, it was not anywhere near as bad for me as I had expected. I appreciate I was quite lucky. I would want exactly the same experience but wouldn’t be so keen to push as hard because of the tearing. I would take it more steady at least at first. DS was out in about 3 pushes! I would also massage my perineum with oils to decrease chance of tearing if I had had another. I am 47 now and single do this seems unlikely I sat on my birthing ball a lot during the latter part on my pregnancy.

Good luck OP. I found reading as much as possible and attending antenatal classes both NCT and NHS really beneficial.

My first was awful, traumatic and terrifying. Not because of the pain but because of the complications. I was terribly naive about it going in. It changed me as a person. Took 7 years to consider doing it again, c section all the way. A walk in the park.

Honestly, don’t plan too much.

Read as much as you can on everything, have an idea of your ideal birth but don’t get hung up on it because there’s so many things that could change.

I expected my water s to break and then to have contractions gradually getting closer together but as soon as my waters went my contractions were super quick.

I was desperate not to have an epidural or an assisted birth and I ended up having a spinal tap and forceps.

The positive birth book is a really good read to help you learn about everything :)

In the least sanctimonious way possible, look into hypnobirthing, and read about the history of modern medicalised birth. Yes I had an epidural in our of my births, yes I think you should take whatever you want/ need / are offered. But a lot of things such as pain, duration etc depends on your attitude at the time. Right now it sounds like you are massively freaking out, and those type of reactions is exactly what makes labour stall, halts the natural flow of hormones and your body doing what it needs to. Powerful sensations aren't the same as pain. The best thing you can do is inform yourself, but not asking for horror stories on how awful it is going to be. Start getting in the right mindset from now

I was eight and a half hours from the start of the contractions to birth. It was painful but a month later I had forgotten about it. Breathing exercises helped. Every birth is different but people love to talk about the horrors. I was told to think of it as very bad period pains that you know will come an end with a baby.

I had epidurals with both mine, I’d have another epidural... I mean, I’m not having anymore because you end up with more children, and stuff that, lol, but the epidurals were fine.

First was just because I was having contractions for days, I was fine, up and mobile but couldn’t sleep so by the time I progressed I was already exhausted... they had to top it up so I couldn’t move at all, couldn’t feel anything and had to be told when to push and I tore - which all sounds terrible, but it wasn’t at all, they put stitches in before the epidural wore off and it wasn’t any sorer while healing than after my second where I had no stitches.

So even when it goes a bit “wrong” it’s sometimes no big deal.

Second I just went in asking for an epidural, lol, that one worked properly, I could still move a bit, feel the contractions and knew when to push, but it took the pain away.

Another vote for water and an epidural here.

I was induced so a water birth was out of the question for me at my hospital... I was gutted as I really wanted a water birth. Baby was also back to back, so labour pains were very painful, and came in hard and strong because of the induction. The lovely head midwife took pity on me and ran me a bath which I then stayed in for the next three hours... Being in the water reduced crippling pain to a mild recurring back twinge.

I ended up with an emergency c-section and the relief I felt as soon as the epidural hit will stay with me forever. Best. Thing. Ever (for me).if there is a next time, because of the complications that led to the EMCS, I will have an elective c-section.

I was induced, ds was back to back. My contractions were all in my spine, bum & bladder, I couldn't find a position that was comfortable & within 3 hours had an epidural. I could still feel the contractions on my bladder but no real pain, just a cramping sensation. My induction failed 48 hours from the gel being put in & I had an emcs, the midwife told me that ds was in such a position I would never have delivered him normally, he wouldn't move down at all.

The contractions are not in your stomach, they are in your abdomen. They start off quite gentle and gradually get stronger and closer together. Stay on your feet, walking about, for as long as possible.
If waters break, go straight to hospital.

Pushing is towards the end of labour and is quite different, at each contraction you feel the need to push and will generally be encouraged to do so. The amount of time pushing takes varies from person to person but at that stage you know the baby is coming.

If all goes as expected, the head will appear, another push and the head is out, another push and the rest of the baby comes out.

Great rejoicing, cord cut, you cuddle your baby. Placenta is then expelled, another push or two, not painful; If you've had a little tear or small cut, it will be stitched.

That's how it goes for a normal vaginal birth. I enjoyed mine. I can't tell you anything about drugs because I had none.

I spent all my childhood and youth being quite constipated, no idea why, there didn't appear to be anything wrong with me. I occasionally took laxatives - senokot - and can assure you senokot gave me what could only be described as being very like contractions! They lasted a long time too before I could do anything. When it came to giving birth I felt as though I'd been doing it all my life :-). Funny thing is, after having a baby I never really had constipation again, I think I was just more relaxed.

I hope all goes smoothly with you when the time comes and - congratulations on your pregnancy.

I haven't read all the replies so I don't know if anyone has mentioned vaginal examinations. For me, this was one of the worst parts of my labours (and both my births were truly horrendous!) Mainly because it was something that no one had ever mentioned to me and I wasn't expecting. So I just wanted to mention it so you can be prepared - it's uncomfortable and painful.

Please try to find some strategies to help this anxiety otherwise your pregnancy will be very long and stressful ❤️