to ask my Lodger to tidy his darn room or he can find somewhere else to leave!

[YorkshireMummyof1]

Now...I know that when someone rents a room, that it is their room. It's not mine, it's theirs.

However, this morning he left his door open, I've just cycled back to walk the dogs on my lunch break and well, I couldn't really avoid it, mainly because of the smell.

1. He hasn't changed the bed sheet since september
2. He has a couple of my plates upstairs, and I'm pretty sure my cutlery knives will be in there (mysteriously missing some)
3. He had a curry takeout last night and there is a pot of curry sauce spilled over on to the sheet and this berk (ie me) didn't put a mattress protector on the bed
4. The new bedding I gave him in September is still in the wrapper meaning he's never put pillowcases on the pillows etc.
5. My favourite starbucks mug is full of rubbish
6. He has never emptied the bin in his room
7. I don't know how he even walks in that room as the floor is covered in crap.

It's messy, which in itself isn't a reason to be annoyed as he can live how he wants. HOWEVER....the rubbish, the curry sauce, the food that must be floating around in that room combined with the fact that he insists on keeping the window wide open whether its freezing or raining makes me worry about mould.

What would you do?

a) leave him to it, I've got a deposit - can't see any physical damage however could be mould, and mattress was £150
b) leave a binbag on his door with a note asking for his bed linen for the wash
c) ask him to leave

I should note, that I never see him as he works 8am to 11pm.

I'm having a moan edited by MNHQ because I take care to keep my house clean and its a literal bombsite....but also, I acknowledge that when you rent a room out - its not really your room anymore

@YorkshireMummyof1 No worries

As for the topic, he sounds awful, I definitely wouldn't go cleaning up after him and I'd be worried about mice/bugs. Kick him out!

Don't leave a note.
You're going through a divorce which is really tough... If you can manage that, you can manage this...
I'd be telling him to shape up or you'll give him notice in a month.

@fergussingstheblues It's catching him thats the issue, I might see him for 10 seconds as he runs out of the house grabs his bike and pedals off to work or I might then not see him at all for two weeks.

Just wait up for him to come home one night?

Or get up early before he goes in the morning and say 'Could I have a word?'

I hate to think of him preparing food for others to buy. It's a wonder the head chef hasn't given him a bollocking if he smells - they are not used to holding back.

You have two choices: keep your lodger, or kick him out. If you tell him to clean up, then he may for a while...before relapsing. His room has implications for your own well-being and may be an insurance risk. He may attract mice and rats which are keen on warm places in winter. The dogs won't be a deterrent, I had to relocate a family of dormouse for my mother this week from her utility room and she has a big dog! If he neglects his room, he will neglect your home...leaving rubbish piled up near appliances is a fire risk, he may leave the water running etc. There are plenty of people looking for a place to live who will be respectful of your home and pleased to live in a clean environment. Personally I would be getting rid of him. This is not because of his dirty habits but what that predicts that he may risk in the future in terms of damage to your property. Unless your insurance company know you have lodgers then you may not be covered for the accidents and non-accidental damage/ events arising from him being there.

I would mention the smell coming from his room and you appreciate it is his room but the "smell" is to much and give him directions to the bin bags and a cloth, guaranteed he won't leave he has it too good,

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Well this is the weird thing, he showers every morning, and physically is clean, fit (in terms of fitness) and its just his room that is a tip!

Don't do it for him, for god sake. Although perhaps strip the bed and take the kitchen stuff?

From what I can tell you have a right to enter:
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/renting-a-home/subletting-and-lodging/lodging/what-rights-do-lodgers-have/

I would pin a note to his door if he is hard to pin down.

I would stop worrying and just ask him to clear up . He probably hasn’t even noticed how revolting it is !! I have two sons who are a similar age ...so speaking from experience here!!

Tbh, I think this is what some 21-year-olds are like - especially if he's never lived away from home before. I have definitely seen student houses that resembled his room.

As he's so young and - in other aspects - a useful lodger, I'd suggest you try to coax him into habits resembling your minimum standards. If you're old enough to be his mom, he may respond quite pleasantly to motherly manners. Worth a shot?

I'd just add that none of his behaviour creates a risk of mould. It starts to grow because of damp air in poorly ventilated environments. If he's leaving his window open you won't get mould.

try and be in front of his room when he gos in to it and politely comment about if he needs any help?

If you can get it nice and clean again- and teach him how to micro manage it all, he’ll probably be really grateful

If he's barely there, thats a great attribute of a lodger!

If his room is dirty - not just untidy - not so much.

So, you could ask him to keep it cleaner (or is that too awkward?). There's no excuse to leave plates of old smelley food in his room etc.

Or just ask him to leave?

I didn't read the whole thread though. Did OP decide waht to do?

You could say you were concerned about plates, rubbish etc, and you wish you had had a conversation about this before he moved in. See what he says, and more important if he improves? If he doesn't, its time for him to move on. Its a shame you didn't have this conversation about expectations before he moved in, but hindsight is a great thing.

Not rtft but I'd have thought untidy, even slightly dirty is one thing and the occupant's business. Causing damage to the property (mould, curry stains, carpet beetles due to food everywhere etc) is something else. The room should be lettable after he leaves with just a clean rather than being gutted and fumigated.

Tbh when I was at uni (I was 18 rather than 21 though) my room was a tip at times. It was a combination of working full time whilst at uni full time and having a very active social life. I was out most of the time like your lodger, only really at my halls to sleep and shower.

As I was never in, the “stuff” in my room just built up. Like I would visit my friends in a different city, turn my room upside down packing a suitcase, then when I returned a few days later I would tip the suitcase out to grab what I would need day to day, then immediately rush off to work. So I’d be left with a literal floordrobe/unorganised mess until I had a day off and enough time to fully deal with it.

My room never smelt though and I would immediately clean up any food spills or anything actually dirty like that. And I never let plates build up, and only used my own kitchen stuff so wasn’t hoarding anyone else’s.

I think a lot of students have ridiculously messy rooms from time to time. I lived with 2 guys, they’re both absolutely lovely but their rooms were such a state! One of them managed to fill up 3 large black bin bags full of rubbish for a room inspection and once the fire alarm went off in the other’s room, so security checked his room and gave him an absolute bollocking as his room was that smelly/messy, there wasn’t any carpet visible!

It sounds as if he’s young and this is his first time away from home. I rather more domesticated than this by 21 but had to learn the ropes at 18 when I went to university. I didn’t even know how to use a washing machine - my mother thought she was doing me a favour but I just ended up with no life skills. I agree with pinning a note to the door.

Well this is the thing, I don’t want to be unreasonable and I do know this is his first time away from home. I’d be humiliated if I’d moved in and then asked to leave really soon. It might not bother him obviously, I can’t predict his feelings.

I think perhaps taking a gentle approach with a bit of guidance isn’t a bad idea. Yes he’s paying me to stay there but he should really look after it a little.

I’ll update once I’ve spoken to him!

Note on the door to get out. No way would a disgusting slob like that live in my home.

Definitely don't go in and clean/change the sheets!
That's worse than saying I was in your room, because it stink. You need to keep it clean etc

There’s a real risk of mice/bugs/ants if he is leaving food around, and that is sufficient reason to tell him that he needs to up his game. If he doesn’t, tell him to find another place to live.

OP you sound like a lovely landlady and he is taking the piss. I would have a word with him and give him a month to improve.

My friend's landlady was overcharging her and despite friend being neat, keeping to herself and very clean (have lived with her before as students so know this to be true), her landlady kept imposing stricter and stricter rules, including no food in her room despite friend vacuuming the whole house daily, emptying bins, dishwasher and giving the bathroom a daily clean. Landlady asked her to come back after she realised the house was so clean because friend was doing it. My point OP is they are decent lodgers out there, you dont have to put up with one like that.

If he's genuinely working or commuting for 15 hours a day then I can understand that cleaning is probably low on his priority list. (If on the other hand he's spending his evenings out with his friends, he gets no sympathy).

Nonetheless you should tell him his room is stinking out the house and he needs to keep it cleaner and not leave the rubbish in there all the time.

But a man like that is never going to change much any time soon. He might make some improvement but he'll still be a filthy slob.