To feel awful I’ve broken my kids heart?!

[TotalRecall]

The good old Santa debate.

I love the magic of Santa. I loved it when I was a child. My kids love it. My youngest especially REALLY loves Santa. He writes letters, talks to the Elves, regales me with stories about all the times he “heard Santa filling his stocking and pretended to be asleep” 😂 I could go on..

I have no recollection of being traumatised when I found out Santa wasn’t real. My eldest wasn’t traumatised in the slightest, and even joined in on making it magical for her brother etc.

So, 10 year old came into my room this morning and flat out asked me if Santa is real, because all his friends had told him it’s your parents, blah blah. He asked me to just tell him the truth please... so I did. He’s 10, I kinda assumed he really knew deep down, and he’s at an age where I don’t really want him to be made fun of for believing.

He was GUTTED. Like honestly gutted. Was really angry at me for lying to him, asked about the 27492025 incidences over the years where he had written letters or left milk and cookies or left things for the elves to take to Santa.. etc etc
He was actually devastated.

I feel awful! I don’t know any child who has had such a strong reaction to being told the truth so never really imagined that he would. I actually feel like I’ve ruined his childhood by doing the whole Santa thing in the first place!

Should I have told him the truth years ago?!
I guess on the bright side he said I don’t have to do stockings anymore...

[katewhinesalot]

It was clear. I understood exactly what she meant.

[mathanxiety]

I feel there is more to it than 'just a little weird'.

Why is he calling himself 'dumb' and 'worthless' and why the 'class clown' description from teachers for several years?

Why the sulking, the sensitivity and the bluntness with his peers? The utter devotion to Santa on top of all that would cause me to ask his teacher for a long conversation.

It is so sad to hear of a child calling himself 'worthless' and 'dumb'.

[pinkstripeycat]

My kids are teens. I still ask them to write a Father Christmas prezzie list.They roll their eyes. I still give them prezzies from FC as I like to keep it going. When they were little they asked me if he was real and I said FC stops coming to those who don’t believe so the kids at school their parents do buy gifts as they no longer believe. It’s not a lie - it’s just a belief in magic

[TotalRecall]

@mathanxiety, I am in a good mood today, so I’m going to assume (hope) that you are coming from a place of kindness, but I feel the need to let you know that you are being quite rude and offensive.

I have said twice he is NT. He is not on the spectrum. I, as his mother know that with certainty. His teachers, who see him every day for the year he is in their class, know that. Nobody has ever raised any concerns about him being on the spectrum, and it’s quite insulting to think a stranger on the internet thinks she knows my own son better than I do.

With respect, I’m not asking his teacher for a meeting. Besides the fact that there are only two days left of the school year before he moves on to year 5 in February, there is absolutely no reason to. I trust his school and any of his teachers in his last 6 years at the school to talk to me if they have concerns. Nobody ever has.

Also, your questions are completely irrelevant to my original post, and have no bearing on the situation. I didn’t answer them after your first long winded post, and won’t be answering them now, because frankly, they’re none of your business.

If anyone else is interested in an update, he was in a better mood this morning. Still a bit disappointed, but when I woke up this morning there was a note on the bench where I make my coffee, with clues to a scavenger hunt for the elves. He decided he was going to do the elves from now on, for me. It was very cute. So fingers crossed I haven’t scarred him for life.

[francienolan]

On Christmas Eve there were several knocks on the door, several sacks full of gifts for our children and several hampers of food to see us through Christmas. At the time I said to my husband that Santa the myth might not be real, but the spirit of Santa certainly was.

@caledoniahasmyheartforever this has made me almost cry. How lovely.

[JellyNo15]

I remember realising but was quite down when I asked my mother for the truth, but I have so many memories of was worth the "lies".

DC1 was just relieved as he didn't like the idea of an old man coming into the house when we were all asleep.

DC2 was heartbroken but soon got over it.

[Intotheseayouandme]

Still a bit disappointed, but when I woke up this morning there was a note on the bench where I make my coffee, with clues to a scavenger hunt for the elves. That's really sweet OP.