Event outside of school 'All children must attend'

[Temponaut]

Got a letter for a Christmas event at school. 2 different days for DC in different years. Both 7pm.

1st date I'm at my sisters baby shower meal and DH doesn't drive. This means dragging 4 kids out of the house at 7pm in the cold, either walking or in a taxi, non of llthe kids want to go.
2nd date in the eve of DS1s 15th birthday and we are going out for a family meal (Can't go on the actual day due to work commitments I the family)

Headteacher is notoriously strict about this stuff. Letter simply says 'All children must attend' and in the past has driven to pupils houses to collect them! AIBU to say we aren't going?

No wonder so many young kids have foul mouths. Learn it at home not the playground.

She actually drives to children’s houses. She can’t force them into the car, surely to God.
She sounds like a bit of a bully on a power trip, to be perfectly honest.

The head has been known to drive to pupils houses Surely that's a massive safeguarding issue?!

Not a private school at all. Normal primary school.

Head wouldn't just turn up but has rang families in the past and said she will be collecting them.

Send the head a formally typed letter saying he "must attend" your house at 8.30am on a Saturday morning because you want to have a meeting with him.

I love it. Yeah do that OP!!

Just say that you have a prior commitment.
My daughter missed her first concert in secondary school (and she is musical) - the reason was that they didn't tell us about it until about November, and she had already committed to a performance with the band she plays in.

Is this a private school?

Actually now I come to think about it, yeah tell her to Fuck off.

sorry just seen it's a normal primary school. They can't insist on that! Private schools seem to try it on quite often, it really annoys me that they organise things for weekends and say they are compulsory.

So in the past the head has turned up and parents have let their children go with him/her? Did the head bring them home too?

If the head turned up at my house I'd say no, dc is not going. If they were we would be there.

What is the head actually going to do? I don't understand any parent who let themselves be bullied into this, it doesn't make sense as it's so easy to just say no thanks and shut the door.

Head wouldn't just turn up but has rang families in the past and said she will be collecting them.

So respond by saying that removing a child without your consent is kidnap and a criminal offence. This cannot be real surely? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Oops sorry thought it was a male head.

If the head turns up at your house to collect them then I'd be asking to see proof of car insurance that covers them to transport pupils and also that there is another adult in the car who works at the school and a letter of authority from the school governors (if an academy) or local authority (if not an academy). All hell would break lose if none of those could be provided.

^ loose

I’m going to go against the grain and say I can understand them wanting everyone to attend.
The reason is many hours are spent teaching songs and rehearsing parts for plays and instruments at this time of year, and then if many children don’t attend it’s pretty pointless and wasted hours. The head does come across as very heavy handed though!!

Bloody hell! They can't dictate attendance at evening events.

I would politly decline and make it clear your children won't be attending.

There's no need to be abusive to the head though or be confrontational.

Well unless it was some kind of play or orchestra performance where your DC plays an important role and would be letting the other kids down I'd just politely state that your DC won't be coming as you have a previous family commitment.

I think it is okay that they are both ill, and sadly it will fall on each evening of the choir. I wouldn't mention unless someone notices or asks. I don't actually agree with compulsory after school events, and would not agree to do any. I wouldn't get into it with the head, it is okay for the dc to have a headache or whatever.

I wouldnt say anything and simply not send them.

A) politely inform them that the children will not be going due to prior commitments
B) make the right noises then on the night not turn up

What's the worst thst could happen?

Or C. If they would actually like to go, speak to school and explain transport issues

I would have thought the head ought to have a signed parental consent form before taking any child anywhere in her car out of school hours.