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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Christmas Eve 'Surprise'

246 replies

sns12 · 03/12/2019 13:10

I need some wisdom.

I live in a foreign country, and have not seem DM or DF for over a year.

DH thought it'd be a nice idea to book a 'surprise' Christmas trip to see my parents. The only flights which were affordable/fitted around work arrive in the UK at 4pm on the 24th. It'll take an additional 3 hours to navigate public transport to my parents house.

So here is my dilemma - the surprise element is nice, but my mum thinks it will just be her and my dad, so won't be prepared with food provisions or organisation. I couldn't care less what I eat on the 25th, but am worried the surprise will backfire and lead to stress.

So my question is: AIBU just to turn-up on the 24th without telling them to make this a Christmas surprise? Or do you think it's better to be more cautious and tell them before?

Opinions appreciated.

OP posts:
Ninkanink · 04/12/2019 20:13

Once a post has 100+ replies it’s really best to RTFT before commenting...

rosegoldwatcher · 04/12/2019 20:28

Yup - have now RTT. Don't believe I deserved the F though Ninkanink!

Whattodoabout · 04/12/2019 20:31

It was a nice thought and I’m sure in ways your parents will be thrilled but I’m sure in other ways they may be pissed off. I’d be peed off about not having enough food in or time to prepare for guests personally.

Rose87777 · 04/12/2019 20:40

@rosegoldwatcher RTFT means “read the full thread” - no swearing Grin

Rose87777 · 04/12/2019 20:41

.,. Unless I am being desperately naive here which is a distinct possibility.

Ninkanink · 04/12/2019 20:43

@rosegoldwatcher definitely wasn’t using that f in relation to you! I just write that in shorthand every time without thinking since it’s well known MN speak (and have done so in relation to myself as I, too, have been known to comment in haste before RTFT).

Xmas Smile
Ninkanink · 04/12/2019 20:44

@Rose87777 No it’s definitely RTFuckingT! Xmas Grin

FelicisNox · 04/12/2019 20:45

It's lovely but you should tell them!

Give them 1 weeks notice so it will still be a nice surprise but enough time to get the food in. Your mum will be so happy and will want to make a big fuss of you so don't deny her that opportunity.

Chinainmyhand · 04/12/2019 20:48

@PowerHooper your parents Christmas sounds brilliant. I'm going to do that when mine all leave home.

Loki1983 · 04/12/2019 20:55

You have to tell them. What a nightmare it would be if a load of extra people turned up for Christmas!

RaymondStopThat · 04/12/2019 21:00

You have to tell them. What a nightmare it would be if a load of extra people turned up for Christmas!

Read the FULL thread. .

rosegoldwatcher · 04/12/2019 21:02

@Ninkanink Xmas Smile

alig99 · 04/12/2019 21:07

From a parent point of view my daughter and her OH and son thought such a surprise a good idea on Christmas travelled from Sydney Australia turned up at 6pm Christmas eve...had I not known (grandson couldn't contain himself and gave it away) if not we would not have enough food (just 2 of us) and no present for 10 year old grandson. Please let your mum know it will still make for a wonderful time. Remember there are surprises and SURPRISES!

Harls1969 · 04/12/2019 21:13

Definitely tell them. I hate, hate, hate surprise visits. They'll want to be prepared (you could offer to pay for the food or do an online food order). If you're expecting to stay with them it's just courtesy to let them know in advance. People just turning up gives me anxiety

RaymondStopThat · 04/12/2019 21:14

Bangs head on table. The OP told the parents several pages ago .....

Harls1969 · 04/12/2019 21:14

Oh and who has the time to RTFT? Jeez

Nearly47 · 04/12/2019 21:17

Please let them know. They will appreciate preparing for you arrival. I think this kind of surprises are terrible. Not too bad if you were going alone. But please don't. Will only to vexation and awkwardness. Why people even thing of doing this??

RaymondStopThat · 04/12/2019 21:17

Anyone who wants to give a useful response presumably Grin

RaymondStopThat · 04/12/2019 21:18

She told them yesterday. There's you go, no need to read the full thread.

MulticolourTinselOnTheTree · 04/12/2019 21:19

When we reach more than 200 posts, perhaps it's time to consider that things have moved on from the original post. Just an idea, mind..........

RaymondStopThat · 04/12/2019 21:22

Who else has their threads set so the OPs post are a different colour? That way it's easy to flick through and see updates.

kateandme · 04/12/2019 21:29

i came on thinking this was similar to a thread i once saw where the op had sorted it a few pages in...

GreyGardens88 · 04/12/2019 21:33

they've made their own plans and don't expect you there, the stress of you suddenly turning up will cause them more harm than good. Pretty thoughtless if you ask me

Diva66 · 04/12/2019 21:36

It’s a lovely idea, but given the timing I think you should definitely give them some notice.

katewhinesalot · 04/12/2019 21:38

It'll still be a surprise if you tell them a few days earlier but it'll be nicer because she can get then organised.

You'll probably be making up beds etc if you leave it. There is too much potential for things going wrong.

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