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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People making me feel bad for my disposable income

254 replies

vilnerf · 02/12/2019 17:25

I've just started the 2nd year of my grad scheme (banking). Luckily I have been sent to an office that is very close to my childhood home for all of my placements. Petrol and phone are really my only bills.

I take home roughly £2400 after tax. Friends, colleagues and family are consistently making digs at me i.e I should be the one to pay or "how can you be skint". Also, I don't buy a tonne of stuff but prefer to buy decent quality products. I recently bought a designer bag (wasn't as expensive as you might expect) but received a lot of judgy comments.

Also, I've been able to save a lot and will be able to buy a house in the not too distant future. And literally no one is excited for me. Trust me I'm not rubbing my good fortune in other people's faces but it's starting to make me feel bad.

The other day at after-work drinks my colleague felt it necessary to announce to all the grads visiting from another city that I live at home and don't have to pay rent.

AIBU?

I worked my tits off to prepare for my assessment centre as I knew working for my company would not only be an amazing professional move but a great financial one also.

OP posts:
BlanketTime · 02/12/2019 17:27

They’re jealous, that’s their problem, not yours.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 02/12/2019 17:28

That's bloody rude of them.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 02/12/2019 17:30

Although do you moan to them about being skint? Because that might rub people up the wrong way.

Alarae · 02/12/2019 17:30

YANBU, people are just twats sometimes.

I would just steer the conversation away from anything financially related as they may be envious/jealous and as a result make those sorts of comments.

I probably take home slightly more than you and I used to get these comments from my sisters saying I was 'loaded' etc. They were jovial, but it is still annoying to hear.

I don't discuss finances with anyone now and don't get the comments.

RedRec · 02/12/2019 17:32

Why don't you pay rent?

LolaSmiles · 02/12/2019 17:32

They're being rude.

Some people have nothing better to do than speculate about other people's finances and for some reason it seems fair game for the complainers in the world to make digs at anyone who might have anything a little better than them

ginghamstarfish · 02/12/2019 17:32

How do they know how much you earn and whether you contribute to your family's bills?

Merryoldgoat · 02/12/2019 17:33

Why are you complaining about being broke if you aren’t?

Yes, they’re jealous but you’re being disingenuous saying you’re broke to people who actually might be.

Original poster
vilnerf · 02/12/2019 17:33

Although do you moan to them about being skint?

Not really - a couple of the people I work with love to go to some REALLY expensive bars and restaurants and I will say I can't afford it (savings are automatically taken out of my account on payday). I do my best to be discreet and sensitive.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/12/2019 17:33

how can you be skint?

geordiejock · 02/12/2019 17:33

None of their business. I would get a massive wedge of 20 pound notes and wave them at anyone who mentions your money and shout "LOADS OF MONEY" like the old Harry Enfield character.

Original poster
vilnerf · 02/12/2019 17:34

Why don't you pay rent? My parents want me to save

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/12/2019 17:34

Cross post, say no thanks you’re saving hard/too tight to go.

Namechange322 · 02/12/2019 17:34

Presumably you are telling them your salary? If so then why?

It’s best not to talk about money with friends for this reason - comparison is the thief of joy

SquareAsABlock · 02/12/2019 17:34

I'm sure you're not intending this to come over as a stealth brag, but its difficult to feel that sorry for your first world problems. You're a mixture of lucky and hard working, people will make comments (as rude as it is). Laugh it off and just remember that you are luckier than many people around you - no rent, abilities to save and buy nice things, assume no dependents....

Are you telling people you're skint, or are they assuming because you wont cover their drinks and such, by the way? Because the former would make me pull a face in all honesty, I'd wonder where £2400 a month went with minimal bills, though it would be none of my business obviously.

Baguetteaboutit · 02/12/2019 17:35

Ofgs. Toughen up.

ghostyslovesheets · 02/12/2019 17:35

why no rent - don't you contribute?

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 02/12/2019 17:35

The other day at after-work drinks my colleague felt it necessary to announce to all the grads visiting from another city that I live at home and don't have to pay rent.

That's just silly, living with your parents doesn't mean you don't pay your fair share of bills etc.

Honestly, have they never heard of dig money? Do they think you're aren't contributing? How pampered are they if they think living at home means rent free Grin

Tableclothing · 02/12/2019 17:35

Stop discussing your money with people.

I've been able to save a lot and will be able to buy a house in the not too distant future. And literally no one is excited for me.

You are not being as discreet as you think.

Original poster
vilnerf · 02/12/2019 17:36

How do they know how much you earn we earn the same as we're on the same scheme. At the start fo my scheme I was explicitly asked if I pay rent by another new starter - naively I responded honestly.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 02/12/2019 17:36

They’re rude and jealous.

How you spend or save your money is nobody’s business but yours.

SunniDay · 02/12/2019 17:36

Hi OP,
You shouldn't feel guilty about your success but you should pay your way. You say petrol and phone are your only bills so you are not paying rent & board. Unless your parents are quite rich and have more disposable income than you (which must be around 2k a month after their bilks/mortgage/food) then I think you should be paying a generous amount- at least a third of all outgoings assuming the only working adults are your parents and you.

WorraLiberty · 02/12/2019 17:37

Why are you telling people your personal business?

I would have no idea whether my colleagues paid rent or not Confused

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 02/12/2019 17:37

My parents want me to save

Missed this before I posted. Surely you save as well as contributing?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/12/2019 17:37

Re: expensive bars - you can afford it you just prefer not to so that’s fine but yes it is annoying when people say they are skint when they aren’t.