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AIBU?

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Original poster

My cousin is naming her DD the same name as my DDs

285 replies

hedgehug · 01/12/2019 11:01

My cousin has accounced the name she has chosen for her daughter who was born earlier thid week. This name is exactly the same as my daughter's only different spelling, one letter difference, same pronunciation. It's not a very popular name but not unusual either. I just find it really odd that she would use the same name, no one in our family shares a name, we all have very different names and I think it will be really confusing. We spend a lot of time together as a family, our children spend a lot of time together, I'm just really confused as to why she would pick the same name. WIBU to talk to her about it?

OP posts:
SabinaK · 02/12/2019 18:06

I'd simply never see the cousin again. 😂😂😂

manicmij · 02/12/2019 18:09

Wouldn't give it a second thought. Most would be prefer to be named something else anyway. It's only a name.

VenusClapTrap · 02/12/2019 18:09

I get it, op, it’s annoying. Dh’s brother just called his new baby virtually the same name as ds. At first I rolled my eyes and said to Dh “Why would you do that?!” Again, it’s a very unusual name.

But it’s done. It’s not going to be undone now. SIL later admitted at a family gathering that it just ‘didn’t occur to her’. You just have to roll with it. Worse things happen.

PeopleWhoRun · 02/12/2019 18:11

Eak! I did this to my cousin... same spelling and everything.

However we have never ever been close, literally only bump in to them at family funerals.... I'm sure at this point (my LO is 2) she has no idea about the matching names. And to be honest I just didn't think about them because they're so distant.

If we were close, I would not have done this, same as if a close friends baby had a name I wanted. I just wouldn't use it.

Distance yourself 😁

user1374384 · 02/12/2019 18:14

I think it's incredibly rude to not at the very least gift you a heads up if not ask you if you and your dd mind.

Andypromqueen · 02/12/2019 18:15

My friend did this. I am completely bemused to this day as also when she told me (via text) she didn’t even mention anything about copying my dd’s name - she just tried to act like it wasn’t the slightest bit weird! I’ve always found her to be lacking in imagination though and there are other things she’s ‘copied’ in the past. My dh said I should take it as a compliment but it definitely changed my view of her for the worse!

user1374384 · 02/12/2019 18:15

Maybe they did it as a namesake sort of thing and thought you and DD would be flattered and are wondering why you haven't acknowledged it... Grin

Nearly47 · 02/12/2019 18:16

I named my son same name as my cousin's. Didn't even thought about her to be honest. Was so involved choosing the name of my PFBGrin . There is a big age gap between them and it hasn't been an issue... Her son was actually pleased to know I had chosen his name

TulipsTulipsTulips · 02/12/2019 18:17

I don’t get this at all. To me this your cousin giving her child the same name isn’t unusual or wrong. I think it would cone across pretty badly if you said something.

Drabarni · 02/12/2019 18:22

Maybe she just likes the name, the family and kids themselves will sort it out so there's no confusion.

Nazkauser40 · 02/12/2019 18:23

Hi I have a cousin who has the name as me. There was 4 of us with the same name. It was not a issue. My husband's cousin named her son the same as mine. 12 yrs between them. My son was delighted when he found out.

MzPumpkinPie · 02/12/2019 18:24

My half bio sister did this .
She named her second son the same name as my eldest DS.
We didn't grow up together, I'm almost 20 years older than her and we share a bio dad I don't know at all.
I did think it was weird as we had been in touch for a couple of years at that point but to be honest she's a bit bat shit anyway, so I wasn't surprised.
I didn't say anything.
She had her first DS at 14, second at 20, 3rd a DD at 21. All planned.
She does what she wants, so no point getting upset 😂
Thankfully she lives a 5 hour drive away ( and she doesn't drive ) so I've only actually met her twice and that was more than enough crazy for me.

DreamTheMoors · 02/12/2019 18:26

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Practicalmagico · 02/12/2019 18:27

Your DD and her DD are only second cousins. It’s really neither here nor there

Lincolnfield · 02/12/2019 18:27

Sorry but had to chuckle. We once had a lovely golden retriever who. We called Henry. Neighbours over the hedge then had a child who they named Henry. When he was born, my dog was about ten years old and this woman said ‘Oh No! You’ve given your dog the same name as my son!’ Scuse me? Dog is ten, child is new born?

My lovely dog lived for another six years and I have to confess it did get quite funny. If he was out in the garden and I called him in calling his name, this little voice would pipe up behind the hedge shouting ‘what?’

Alexapourmeadrink · 02/12/2019 18:28

@hedgehug it’s a “thing” now. I’d see it as a compliment.

Emmapeeler1 · 02/12/2019 18:30

I chose names different to my cousins’ children, but I have only two cousins. Some people could be ruling out a lot of names!

Curlyshabtree · 02/12/2019 18:30

One of my cousins have very similar name to me (one letter different) Her brother has exactly same name as my DB - they now use different variants of said name in adulthood. My mum was flattered not cross!

MrsFoxPlus4Again · 02/12/2019 18:30

I’m also one of the you don’t own a name gang but it is still weird.

TheCherries · 02/12/2019 18:30

I named my son a very popular name (top 10 that year). I didn’t even realise a cousin had named their son that 10 years previously. When she mentioned it to me when we met I just laughed and said how funny I hadn’t even realised. All the best are called *.

If she had come to me expecting me to change it I wouldnt have.

The girls name we had planned had he arrived a girl was asked and taken by a dear friend of ours. When their daughter arrived a year later they named their daughter the first and middle names we had planned. Note to self don’t tell anyone.
When our daughter came along out of courtesy we told them that our plan to name her that name still as per our plans when our son was born. To say they were less than happy is an understatement. They forced us through my husband to make us choose another name.

It was unpleasant I had postnatal depression and didn’t have the energy to stand up to him or then and she was named a different name.

I will never forgive them for being so outrageously rude and I don’t see them now.

Get over it and take it as a compliment is my advice

Trethew · 02/12/2019 18:31

I called my son the same first name as his cousin who is about 5 months older. It’s an ordinary old English name like George or Henry, and we had told everyone if we had a boy that’s what he’d be called. As it happened he was born on his great grandfather’s birthday who also had the same name. Don’t know if sister in law was put out, but nothing was ever said

MzPumpkinPie · 02/12/2019 18:33

The weirdest thing when half bio sis gave her son my DS name is that my DS is the 5th generation of my family with that name.
No relation to her, never met my family ( never likely too as they live in America) I'm adopted but she said she chose it because of the family connection.
My dad ( not bio) was very confused by this strangers child being named after him but ultimately it's a name and we don't own it !

MzPumpkinPie · 02/12/2019 18:36

Also my birth parents both have a son , to different partners with the same name.
Imagine how confused I was then.
I laugh about it now and that god my DF adopted me and saved me from the madness!

MrsFoxPlus4Again · 02/12/2019 18:39

My friend Stevens brother is called Steven, different mums same shithead Steven dad Grin

OrangeZog · 02/12/2019 18:44

Eleven years is probably thought or by her to be almost a generation older so she thinks her Katherine won’t be confused with your Catherine especially if they use different nicknames (or a nickname for one and not the other).

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