My cousin is naming her DD the same name as my DDs

[hedgehug]

My cousin has accounced the name she has chosen for her daughter who was born earlier thid week. This name is exactly the same as my daughter's only different spelling, one letter difference, same pronunciation. It's not a very popular name but not unusual either. I just find it really odd that she would use the same name, no one in our family shares a name, we all have very different names and I think it will be really confusing. We spend a lot of time together as a family, our children spend a lot of time together, I'm just really confused as to why she would pick the same name. WIBU to talk to her about it?

My cousin named her kid the same as mine.
It didn't bother me.
I find it odd that my grandma has two grandsons with the same name though 😂

Why does it matter at all? They can call their child whatever they want to?

Two of my 7 GC have the same name. No-one has ever thought it was a problem - why would they?

We are quite close and they'll be seeing each other regularly, with the age difference they might not be really close but they'll certainly know each other

Yeah, ok, I get it... but how are you going to influence the rest of the bloody world, where there may be endless permutations of people of significance in your child's life who have the same name?

What if, unbeknownst to you, the very best friend of your entire life is waiting for you in one of her baby groups who has the same name? What if she is a lesbian who grows up and falls in love with a woman the same name? What if she's straight and her future husband's sister has the same name? She'll have a job too - what about future colleagues?

You can't exercise control over any of that, and having the same name as someone isn't even a negative thing, so I beg you to ignore the posters asking you to shit on your cousins excitement at a lovely thing for her that doesn't in any way negatively affect you.

How often are you going to see your cousin anyway? I see mine possibly once a year or every other year? My DD has exactly the same name as her DD and it's not a problem at all. I'd just leave it, it's not worth any hassle.

I'm another with several family members the same name. My backgrounds Irish Catholic, I've lots of cousins, second cousins etc, many of whom are called Mary or Patrick. Can't see the problem....especially as it's going to be second cousins with the same name. I couldn't even remember most of my second cousins names and wouldn't know them if they stood up in my soup.

I love these threads. It makes me think of My Big Fat Greek Wedding when all the cousins are named Anita, Diane and Nick

It wouldn’t bother me OP. Especially as your daughter is so much older than her baby.

Basically every male relative on my dad’s side is called the same name as first or middle name in remembrance of a family tragedy. It’s confusing but we manage 🤷🏻‍♀️

My husband, my cousin and that cousin's son share a name.

My cousin asked if I would look after his young son while he was at the dentist. I said I had to go out soon but husband would be home before that. So fine.
So 'John, could you look after John while John's at the dentist?' was a fairly clear request. It made me smile briefly but that's all.

Four of my brothers share names with at least one cousin. Two of my nieces share the same name. One of my sisters shares a name with a cousin.

It works fine all though Dh says family get togethers are bit like scenes from Goodfellas. "Is Mikey here?" "Mikey? Mikey the nose or Mikey Knuckles?" "Nah. Mikey the Waistcoat" "Yeh. He's not here. Pauly the Knife is here" "Did I ask for Pauly the Knife? I could talk to Little Petey about it. Is Little Petey here?" "Nah. Only Big Petey and Petey the Hat"

@Spidey66 It's the same in my family. If you look at my family tree, my generation is actually the first one where everyone doesn't just have the same names recycled (although they're still there as middle names). Johns, Thomases, Patricks, Jameses, Marys, Theresas and Agneses everywhere you look. They all had massive families, but used relatively few first names.

It's a relatively recent thing that people get so uptight over the 'ownership' of their children's names.

It is a bit weird and I would have a WTF moment, but after hearing that you see her a lot and the children will be involved, I think it’s kind of sweet! I had to discount what seemed like a billion names because of knowing other, horrible people with those names. She’s chosen to name the most precious thing in her life with your daughter’s name. She must think very highly of both your daughter and your choice in names to do that!

It’ll just become normal in so many years time and you won’t think much of it. We have a married couple in our family who both have exactly the same name (First and last) and it hasn’t led to any problems, we have ways of identifying which one we are talking about.

I wouldn’t say anything to her, it’ll make things weird and awkward.

I might raise an eyebrow privately, but I wouldn't speak to them about it. Be the bigger person, pretend you're fine about it, don't let it become an issue

Agree with advice from a PP to try to steer away from labelling them by size eg Big Lucy and Little Lucy

I often laugh with my Irish friend as whenever she refers to her dad, brother, uncles or various cousins they all seem to be called Con or Connor!

Seems odd, my cousin chose my preferred name 5 months ahead of my dd being born, wouldn't have dreamt of called dd that despite living on different continents

As a child, I had a favourite girl’s name and wished it were my name! I always said if I had a daughter, that is whatI would call her!

As it so happened, DH had a niece with that name. He chose DD1’s name - a traditional name from his family; therefore I got to choose DD2’s name. I was not going to ignore my favourite name of all time, just because his niece had that name! We saw DD2 day in day out for 19 years; and our niece about three times a year!

You don’t have a monopoly on a name.

We’ve got several family members with the same name. It’s never really been a problem, and names aren’t exclusive so I think you’d be unreasonable to say anything really.

My cousin and his wife gave their PFB son the same name as my eldest. No family history of this name. Didn't bother me. They were open and said they loved it from the start

This happened to me - not a cousin but another close member of the family. I wasn't bothered in the slightest.

Take it as a compliment. I've got a cousin with the same first middle name as me. And a few other friends and family have named there kids after me honestly shes probably chosen same name as she likes it.

"the highest form of flattery is imitation"

This would really upset me.
They should choose a different name.
Of course you never own rights to a name, but it’s just odd.
Really odd!

And?

I’ve quite a big family and we have a couple of duplicate names across the cousins! No one bothered. My daughter is referred to first name - middle name to know which one between the 2. The others work it out!

No- one fallen out :)

it's not a big deal. families are fine having 2 Grandmas. School classrooms are fine having 3 or 4 Katies. 2 cousins can share a name. Take it as a compliment.

My son has the same name as my sisters son, I did ask first and she was fine with it. My nephew was really chuffed ( he was 8 at the time) they’ve grown up really close and no one ever got confused. They are spookily similar in character.