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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My cousin is naming her DD the same name as my DDs

285 replies

hedgehug · 01/12/2019 11:01

My cousin has accounced the name she has chosen for her daughter who was born earlier thid week. This name is exactly the same as my daughter's only different spelling, one letter difference, same pronunciation. It's not a very popular name but not unusual either. I just find it really odd that she would use the same name, no one in our family shares a name, we all have very different names and I think it will be really confusing. We spend a lot of time together as a family, our children spend a lot of time together, I'm just really confused as to why she would pick the same name. WIBU to talk to her about it?

OP posts:
Marcipex · 01/12/2019 13:06

I think it’s a bit odd. Unimaginative.
If the baby’s already named though, there’s no point in anything except taking it as a compliment.

BlackCatSleeping · 01/12/2019 13:07

I remember an elderly relative's reaction to my new daughter's name
"Oh, for fuck's sake, not another one!"

I don't care. I'm not really close to that side of the family.

HollowTalk · 01/12/2019 13:11

I've heard of men who divorce their wives and have more children with their new wives and call their children the same names as his original children. Now that is weird.

I would really want to ask your cousin, "Aren't you worried people will think you don't have any imagination?"

ddl1 · 01/12/2019 13:11

Seems a bit odd, but not an extreme problem. I have a name that was very common in my childhood, so every other child I knew seemed to have that name.

Whoops75 · 01/12/2019 13:11

YABU

It’s perfectly fine and you’re being precious.

lalafafa · 01/12/2019 13:12

your daughter will probably be referred as big Elli and the new one baby Elle

Steenac72 · 01/12/2019 13:14

You don’t own a name. Myself and my DH have picked out our girls name about 2 years ago - we are struggling to concieve. It has links to my name, my grandmothers name, my family background, DH family background, DH close family member. I hear my cousin is calling her new baby the same name. If we have a baby girl we will be giving her the name and I’m sure my cousin would be on here posting similar to you.

Steenac72 · 01/12/2019 13:15

For those saying it’s unimaginative - how do you know the cousin hadn’t picked it out ‘first’

category12 · 01/12/2019 13:15

There's an 11 yr gap between your dc - the chances of them being confused are zero.

Relative: "Oh Daisy has started to walk!"
Other relative: "Oh do you mean hedgehug's Daysey?"

I mean really. Hmm

Non-problem.

dontgobaconmyheart · 01/12/2019 13:18

It's just a name Confused. I would leave it, no name is at all unique is it really let's be honest- there will be how many in the world? Perhaps she liked the name?

It doesn't make a child less special to have a name and know someone else who also has it, the concept of name ownership and uniqueness is just plain silly.

You never know OP, one or both might change their name as an adult as soon as they're able anyway - that's what I did. These things don't matter.

Freddiemercuarysmoustache · 01/12/2019 13:18

All 3 of my uncles are married to women called margaret and all there 1st born sons are called james all on the same side of the family so they all share the same surname. They get called jim, jimmy and james so we all know which one we r talking about.

category12 · 01/12/2019 13:20

Relative: Oh Alison's doing her GCSEs this year.
Other relative: Wow, Allison must be a prodigy!

sue51 · 01/12/2019 13:26

We have a couple of family first names that have been popular with us for a few generations. They are just referred to as sue51's first name or whoever's child. It's no big deal. YABU.

MRex · 01/12/2019 13:28

One of my second cousins has the same name as me but one letter different and it has a pronunciation difference. That means my mum's first cousin used my name in exactly the same way. We see them at family parties, she's a nice girl and I've only ever thought about it with threads about names. 4 of the men have a very similar name that they all have their own tweak on. DH's cousin's wife has my name with a tweak, that was unavoidable. It really doesn't matter and nobody's ever been confused.

MikeUniformMike · 01/12/2019 13:28

Is it Laila/Layla or something?
It just shows a lack of imagination.

If it is something like Olivia, then maybe they just liked the name.

Zaphodsotherhead · 01/12/2019 13:32

When my DS1 was born, every other boy was a Tom or a Nathan. He ended up being a Tom. So, although they weren't related, just about all his friends and the boys in his class at school, had the same name. I wasn't going to insist on everyone else changing their names because they spent all day together and the teacher might get confused...

They were Big Tom, Tom J, Tom S, TomJohn, etc etc and nobody really noticed after a while.

It's a bit odd within a family but surely it's the same thing, you can't legislate for friends all having the same name.

Rainbunny · 01/12/2019 13:35

I understand how annoying it must be but I think you'll find that you don't care about it very quickly. I also think the 11 year age gap between them makes it much less of an issue, it's highly unlikely anyone will get confused about which "Mary" is being referred to.

OVienna · 01/12/2019 13:42

I'm in the camp if the generally speaking it's off camp but if it's a family name on her side/otherwise sentimental it's understandable. (Not sure if it is...) The age gap makes a difference too.

whoami24601 · 01/12/2019 13:43

I had the same name as my cousin growing up and we lived next door to each other! Then there was a slightly younger girl next to them with the same name! It honestly didn't bother me at all and it's not a thing in our family either. Irish Catholic but no other family members with the same name. Honestly it's fine. We just had big x and little x. In fact that's what we still call each other and we're in our 30s and 40s now Grin

selfhelpneeded · 01/12/2019 13:47

*Is it Laila/Layla or something?
It just shows a lack of imagination.

If it is something like Olivia, then maybe they just liked the name.*

That's really weird, why is laila less imaginative than Olivia?

Rosere · 01/12/2019 13:49

My DN shares a name with our childhood dog. If that didn't bother my SIL naming that child, then I can't see why anyone would be worried about a cousin with the same name 😂😂 imitation as a form of flattery and all that. I wouldn't worry.

Walnutwhipster · 01/12/2019 13:51

One of my sons has the same Christian and middle name as my brother. It's no big deal. Incidentally, DS is not named after DB. I loved his christian name and the middle name is my DF's name, who died shortly before DS was born. I wouldn't say anything to a cousin. Your children aren't even that closely related.

Original poster
hedgehug · 01/12/2019 13:54

It'll be hard to confuse them when talking to them but I was thinking when they're in the same room it might be confusing. The name isn't very popular at all

OP posts:
Countryescape · 01/12/2019 13:55

It’s a very odd thing to do

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 01/12/2019 14:01

It’s really fucking weird. But these threads are always full of people saying it’s normal. It’s not.

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