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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My cousin is naming her DD the same name as my DDs

285 replies

hedgehug · 01/12/2019 11:01

My cousin has accounced the name she has chosen for her daughter who was born earlier thid week. This name is exactly the same as my daughter's only different spelling, one letter difference, same pronunciation. It's not a very popular name but not unusual either. I just find it really odd that she would use the same name, no one in our family shares a name, we all have very different names and I think it will be really confusing. We spend a lot of time together as a family, our children spend a lot of time together, I'm just really confused as to why she would pick the same name. WIBU to talk to her about it?

OP posts:
Elbels · 01/12/2019 12:24

My cousin and I have one letter difference in our names and I don't think I've ever really noticed or cared!

MuddlingMackem · 01/12/2019 12:25

I can understand that you might be a bit narked by it, but as long as she can live with her DD being known in the family as BabyNayme or LittleNayme and your DD as Name then it'll be fine. :)

Omashu · 01/12/2019 12:26

I’d be absolutely fuming but it seems we’re in the minority OP!

BennyTheBall · 01/12/2019 12:27

It would mildly irritate me as I'd go to great lengths to do anything but use the same name as someone I know.

But they're almost a generation apart in age, so not as annoying as it could be.

OverByYer · 01/12/2019 12:28

It’s a bit odd but not worth saying anything. She’s not going to change her child’s name is she?

misspiggy19 · 01/12/2019 12:30

You’ll get posters here saying you’re BU as you don’t own a name blah blah blah but it’s a very weird thing to do.

^I agree.

User342109097569098 · 01/12/2019 12:32

I’m from an Irish family and it’s really common for cousins to have the same name. So I don’t find it weird.

MrsBricks · 01/12/2019 12:32

I don't think it's that odd that 2nd cousins so far apart in age have the same name.

GertiMJN · 01/12/2019 12:33

I’d be absolutely fuming but it seems we’re in the minority OP!

I'll ask yet again. What are you fuming about? Omashu

Tell me how it negatively impacts on OP or her dd?

Cosmosgrowinmygarden · 01/12/2019 12:34

I suggest you tell your cousin how touched you and your daughter are that she’s named her baby after your dd 😊

Ginger1982 · 01/12/2019 12:35

YABU. They are only 2nd cousins and there's a big age gap. Take it as a compliment. DH's nephew is named after him.

MitziK · 01/12/2019 12:38

The new one will be called Baby Sprog or Little Sprog instead of Sprog.

Or acquire a nickname.

Yours will likely take it as a compliment - after all, not only is the name so nice they want to use it for theirs, your DD has created so many positive associations that they like it enough even when knowing somebody with the name already - look at the number of names that teachers will never use for their own kids, for example.

IckyIsAFuckingStupidWord · 01/12/2019 12:38

I have 2 male cousins with the same names and their mums are sisters.

I’ve never heard a sour word about it, but that’s not to say if my sister called her daughter my daughters name that I wouldnt be pissed off.

Looneytune253 · 01/12/2019 12:38

My eldest has the same name as my cousins daughter. There's at least a 5 year gap between them and it never even crossed my mind there would be a problem. Honestly it's not even worth thinking about never mind getting upset about

yikesanotherbooboo · 01/12/2019 12:38

Don't say anything please .There are so many things in life to get upset by and this really isn't one of them.

MikeUniformMike · 01/12/2019 12:40

I have 4 cousins (they are also each others' cousins) who have a child with a certain first name.
I have 2 cousins (also each other's cousins) withh a child with a certain first name.
I have 2 cousins (also each other's cousins) withh a child with a certain first name.

In other words, 5 of my cousins have named their child the same name as one of their cousins' children.

It is only noticeable in the less popular names.

I can also think of other people who are first cousins who named a child the same as a cousin's child, even down to the spelling.

Nanny0gg · 01/12/2019 12:43

At least they're 2nd cousins not first cousins so I doubt it'll be a problem.

FabledBunny · 01/12/2019 12:44

I would acknowledge it for example if they announced the arrival of their bubba on fb i would comment with something like:

What a beautiful name - but im biased of course 😉 our Hannah is chuffed she now has a namesake 🥰

Something like that?

LoobyDoDoDo · 01/12/2019 12:48

DH has cousins similar ages with the same name. The name is top 10 and has been for decades. Apparently the sister with the oldest one had a bit of a hissy fit at the time. The cousins see each other once every couple of years so they don't care, and they probably went to school/uni with loads of boys the same name anyway.

andyoldlabour · 01/12/2019 12:49

Is this the ultimate first world problem?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/12/2019 12:52

This honestly wouldn't be a problem to me.

You both like the same name, and as there is a big gap between the girls, they aren't going to get mixed up. Why bother about it?

bridgetreilly · 01/12/2019 12:53

Second cousins, 11 year apart in age, have the same name? You are being ridiculously over-precious here, OP. She has the same taste in names of you, how lovely. Get over it.

ostritch · 01/12/2019 12:57

Depends on your family. In my family I'm close to and see my cousins regularly and the children mix a lot too. My and cousin were pregnant, both with girls, at the same time. We deliberately didn't discuss names (with anyone) and I just accepted that if we picked the same she'd get first choice as she was due three months before me.

As it turns out when her dd was born we'd chosen the same middle name! So I changed mine. She actually said she didn't mind if I used it too, when I told her later (laughing about us having the same taste, not in an annoyed way) as it was the middle name, but I thought it was weird so I didn't.

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 01/12/2019 13:00

My brother and cousin share a name, fairly common for early 90s, my brother (born first) was known as big x and cousin was known as little x. Actually they still are known as that and clearly both are mid-late 20s 😂

Lizzie0869 · 01/12/2019 13:05

It's odd, I agree with you on that, but it isn't worth making it an issue. There isn't anything you can do about it, it's entirely up to the parents what they call their DC.

At least there's a big age gap, so they're unlikely to have all that much to do with each other.

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