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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you wouldn't be this irresponsible?

236 replies

Jinglebells10 · 30/11/2019 21:21

AIBU to be fuming that a 3 month old baby was left unattended in a room on his own sleeping in a car seat with no monitor? This baby was being babysat by his aunt

OP posts:
lisag1969 · 30/11/2019 22:36

Just don't let her babysit any of your kids anymore.

MereDintofPandiculation · 30/11/2019 22:47

I had a mirror in the car when he was really young until 6ish months So you were able to keep an eye on him via the mirror, taking your focus off the road to do so and thus increasing your risk of an accident?

Vickyprice · 30/11/2019 22:56

It's all a bit insane really, tis truly a miracle that any of us made it to adulthood 🤦

saraclara · 30/11/2019 22:56

So there was nothing else for the baby to sleep in. The aunt didn't want sleeping baby disturbed by older child. So she did what the vast majority of people would do and put the sleeping baby in another room.

This would only matter if the baby was there for a long time and aunt didn't bother checking on her. And we have no idea if this was the case.

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2019 22:58

My mum and my nan would've put the sleeping baby outside in the garden.

I fear that'd send MN into meltdown today Grin

jelly79 · 30/11/2019 23:01

Was the video monitor left?
Sounds like the aunt was trusted otherwise they wouldn't of left a 3 month old baby with her

You don't know how long the baby was left

All sounds a bit dramatic and vague.

Are you jealous of the other aunt being asked to babysit?

converseandjeans · 30/11/2019 23:03

Mine used to go to their own room for naps and sleep pretty much from day one. I wouldn't be keen on the car seat but tbh can't see what was too bad about this. In some countries babies are put outside to sleep in all weathers - alone.

Nillynally · 30/11/2019 23:05

They provided his sleepyhead

The sleephead that is not endorsed by the lullaby trust, midwives or health visitors and is banned in America as its deemed unsafe?? Right.....

JasonPollack · 30/11/2019 23:06

YABVU

Sweetchicken · 30/11/2019 23:06

I used to be left in the pram in the garden.

Dustarr73 · 30/11/2019 23:10

Why didnt your ds leave a pram.Then all this could have been avoided.Or @Jinglebells10 are you only answering people who agree with you.

LucaFritz · 30/11/2019 23:12

Babies can die left in car seats for more than 30mins at a time or alone unattended to sleep! They can't hold their heads up ao they stop breathing not to mention how uncomfy it is scrunched up in a seat like that for ages Hmm his aunt should have laid him down flat in an appropriate moses basket or travel cot etc

MyNewBearTotoro · 30/11/2019 23:15

This doesn’t seem like a big deal, aunt was in a neighbouring room and likely would have heard the baby if he’d cried. However if she’s not happy the. the solution is for your sister not to accept free childcare for her 3 month old son again. Not that I imagine the aunt would be queuing up to do so again if the thanks she gets is a hysterical reaction not only from the baby’s parents but from extended family too. Really this is none of your business.

ChestnutSmoothie · 30/11/2019 23:16

I think you’re shit-stirring, OP.

You started the thread complaining about the baby being left alone without a monitor....not a whisper of concern about him/her being left in a car seat. If you’d been babysitting, you yourself would have left him in the car seat and made the situation even more dangerous by putting it on the sofa.

Now that a few people have found some articles you’re using them to validate yourself. It’s pretty obvious.

The risk to any individual baby being left in a car seat to sleep is very, very small. That there’s a risk at all means that it shouldn’t happen but it’s enough just to ask the other Aunt to put him to sleep in a Moses basket next time. Absolutely no need for the drama you’re enjoying.

Who actually put the baby in the car seat, by the way? I’d bet big money it was the mother who left him/her sleeping in it - all the Aunt did was move it into another room.

You don’t like the babysitting aunt and are clutching at reasons to be unpleasant about her.

Greenwingmemories · 30/11/2019 23:16

Fuming is just ridiculous. Okay the rules have obviously changed a lot since my now very strapping lads were babies. But really the onus should be on the parents in that regard to make clear their rules and provide any necessary equipment, e.g video monitors and travel cots.

This aunt wasn't being reckless with the baby. No one I know watched their baby permanently in cars or in car seats or on video monitors. It wouldn't even occur to me to do that. So if the guidelines have changed, the mother should inform the person looking after the baby.

You seem to be determined to whip up anger about this. The baby is fine. The mother in future should provide more detailed guidance or simply not leave the baby with anyone.

Floralnomad · 30/11/2019 23:16

How do you manage on long car journeys nowadays if babies can’t be in car seats for more than 30 minutes , or indeed if you go in the car to go shopping and then attach the car seat to the pushchair base or do car seats not do that anymore ?

giggly · 30/11/2019 23:17

Calm the fuck down Janet.... babies having been sleeping unattended for years and shock horror sleeping in car seats as well.
What’s the dramaConfused

Lifefallseasyonme · 30/11/2019 23:18

I imagine this is the aunt trying to let the baby sleep in peace and getting it wrong. Dsis isn't wrong to be upset but I doubt it was done on purpose. Obviously really scary if you do know it's dangerous. However if her own child is much older she probably doesn't know the new guidelines on this. I would just not let her babysit while the baby is so little again.

SpaceDinosaur · 30/11/2019 23:19

I am stunned that people think leaving a baby asleep in a car seat out of the car is acceptable.

SpaceDinosaur · 30/11/2019 23:26

Oh, @Nillynally sleepheads are unsafe for unsupervised and overnight sleeping.

If baby was in the room with the aunt as he should have been whilst in his sleepyhead, that would technically have been "ok".

ChestnutSmoothie · 30/11/2019 23:27

I am stunned that people think leaving a baby asleep in a car seat out of the car is acceptable

Oh stop it. No one is saying that.

MumToBeNan · 30/11/2019 23:36

What did we do before monitors were invented? And what happens to them when our children have grown up - we may find someone who will trust the monitors we give them or they are yet another item that goes into landfill?

saraclara · 30/11/2019 23:37

What's the difference between the baby sleeping in a car seat in the car, and sleeping in it out of the car? How's a driver focusing on the road with a sleeping baby in a rear facing seat in the back, going to be any more aware of what it's doing in its sleep than someone in the next room checking in on it regularly?

Lazysundays18 · 30/11/2019 23:38

Originally it was the fact that she wouldn't hear the baby cry that you had a problem with and now you've jumped on the unsafe car seat issue. I think you're trying to create a drama.

RainingFrogsAndHats · 30/11/2019 23:49

The OP seems to have left the thread....

Shame, cos I was going to redirect her to the lovely thread currently running about batshit crazy parenting. A lovely thread, which I thoroughly recommend.