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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you wouldn't be this irresponsible?

236 replies

Jinglebells10 · 30/11/2019 21:21

AIBU to be fuming that a 3 month old baby was left unattended in a room on his own sleeping in a car seat with no monitor? This baby was being babysat by his aunt

OP posts:
TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 22:22

Same room because it lowers the risk of SIDS. Thats why they advice you sleep in the same room until baby is 6 months old

But they provided a sleepyhead.
Increasing the risk of SIDS.
Right.

I don't know who's more in the wrong now. Hmm

changeforprivacy · 30/11/2019 22:23

One minute you are saying she could have left the baby in the car seat on the sofa and the next the car seat is the issue.

Personally never had mine in car seats unless they were in the car. Was the baby dropped off in the car seat or did the aunt collect? I wouldn't have given a car seat to someone who was babysitting in a house.

Also I have never used a baby monitor in my life.

TruffleShuffles · 30/11/2019 22:24

The guidelines also say a 3 month old can be in a car seat for 2 hours and as you have no idea how long they were in it nobody can say if anyone was unreasonable.

DeathStare · 30/11/2019 22:24

They provided his sleepyhead

So the parents are ignoring some advice about risk. You are ignoring other advice about risk. And yet this aunt is being jumped all over because she doesn't know which bits of advice they are following and which they are ignoring because they didn't bother to tell her. Jeez

OlaEliza · 30/11/2019 22:24

Nice jump in what the issue was when no one was agreeing with the op there 👍 (unattended child to being left in car seat).

Original poster
Jinglebells10 · 30/11/2019 22:24

Now you are saying it's because of the risk of suffocation. A baby monitor wouldn't have picked up a baby suffocating. Me and my sister both have video monitors.

OP posts:
ohwheniknow · 30/11/2019 22:24

The way you keep changing which part of this you're adamant is the big problem just makes it look like you're spoiling for a fight rather than responding in good faith.

Why don't you like the aunt?

Sparklingbrook · 30/11/2019 22:25

I don't see why you would put the car seat on the sofa at all and sit next to it, it should go on the floor.

I think without having any input of some facts from the babysitting Aunt this thread will just go round in circles. Nothing like a bit of family drama just before Christmas though. Christmas Dinner will be fun. Xmas Grin

ohwheniknow · 30/11/2019 22:25

Did your sister take the video monitor round?

IceCreamConewithaflake · 30/11/2019 22:25

People managed in the past without baby monitors. A song as the room was safe I think it was ok.

DeathStare · 30/11/2019 22:26

Me and my sister both have video monitors

A video monitor does not pick up a baby that is suffocating.

Sux2buthen · 30/11/2019 22:26

Maybe I'm crazy but when I'm responsible for somebody else's child or baby I make them priority. And that includes being on the same room as the baby and definitely not being left to sleep in a car seat.
I'd rather be over cautious than sorry

Original poster
Jinglebells10 · 30/11/2019 22:27

@Sux2buthen no i agree, i would be the same too. Clearly everyone else disagrees

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 30/11/2019 22:28

@Sparklingbrook if you're driving you're supposed to stop and get the baby out after a couple of hours maximum. That's the current advice. Obviously advice changes but the safety advice at the minute is that

DeathStare · 30/11/2019 22:28

So the position is.....

The parents have deliberately flouted advice that puts their baby at risk.
You have deliberately flouted advice that puts the baby at risk.
The other aunt has flouted advice that puts the baby at risk though nobody knows how long for or whether she knew there was a risk.

The only person considered to be irresponsible is the other aunt Hmm

Tvstar · 30/11/2019 22:28

You are bonkers. Perfectly normal thing to do!

Quaffy · 30/11/2019 22:29

I would follow instructions regarding sleeping arrangements for someone else’s child. We don’t know what instructions were left.

TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 22:30

Unless you are glued to the video monitor.. 24/7 there is a lot you may not pick up on.

Sparklingbrook · 30/11/2019 22:30

Really Sux? Family visiting journeys would have taken forever. I just used to sit in the back with the car seat, stopping if he woke up for something.

TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 22:31

So the only thing the aunt could have done differently is just make sure baby was with her in same room. But still sleeping in car seat?

Greysparkles · 30/11/2019 22:32

Who wants to put money on the baby was asleep when dropped off.... Hence the car seat.

What a bloody storm in a teacup. There's no need for anyone to rage about this. A calm conversation would do, but I get the feeling there is some kind of aunt rivalry going on here

changeforprivacy · 30/11/2019 22:32

Apparently baby was put in bedroom because the aunts daughter wouldnt leave him alone. Shes school age so not a baby

Earlier she was an independent age, now she is 'school age, not a baby' which indicates much younger than an independent age. Why is her age a secret?

TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 22:32

If the car seat itself is a problem.. then unless she was given alternate sleeping arrangements there is not much else that could have been done?

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2019 22:33

She didnt even hear his parents come through the front door so doubt she would of heard him cry

Well presumably they didn't burst through the door, screaming their lungs out Confused

Baby has a quick nap in another room to get a bit of peace from another child.

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE

How do you think parents managed without monitors?

TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 22:34

@Greysparkles

Exactly. Just a conversation about your preferences and how you want your child to be looked after.
Everyone has different parenting ways. Even if they are.. controversial. So some people may not know what they're doing is wrong.
No rage. No anger. Education.