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To contemplate reporting someone for possible benefit fraud? WWYD?

404 replies

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:16

So there’s this girl I know. Not a close friend but someone I know and would say hi to in the street. We are Facebook friends. I know a bit about her through mutual friends.

She is claiming as a single parent of two kids but her boyfriend lives with her. Full time. They have actually just become engaged and she is pregnant. He has 3 kids to someone else with which he sees 2 of them every other week.

He is ‘unemployed’ but I believe he works full time for cash in hand. (Some kind of joinery or building work)

What has made me consider reporting her (if that’s something you can even do??) is that she spends all her ‘free’ money on weekly hair up appointments, professional make up done. New nails etc (we all know this as she documents everything on Facebook) always out at restaurants and nights out. Almost like she is bragging.
Doesn’t look like she spends much on her kids. They always look a bit scruffy and bored in her photos. (Think tops that look too small or worn out)

And now that she’s pregnant she’s uploading loads of expensive purchases for the baby (ted baker everything, massive pram ordained in Jewell’s)

Now I know some of the replies I will get here will be along the lines of ‘what’s it got to do with you how she spends her money’

  • well yes it has nothing to do with me but it is really irritating that I work full time with kids and pay a lot in tax and have to scrimp and save. I don’t get all of the luxuries she does. Yet ina round about way I contribute to it.

‘How do you know she’s on benefits’ our mutual friend knows she is for certain. Plus she works 18 hours per week in a cafe so it’s not rocket science.

So would you report someone claiming as a single parent when she isn’t?

YABU- Dont report her and don’t give it another thought

YANBU- Do report her

If so how would you report anonymously?
OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Purpletigers · 30/11/2019 13:26

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Venger · 30/11/2019 13:28

Maintenance isn't taken into account as it's a, for the benefit of the child and any income relating to children isn't included (e.g., if your child got a Saturday job their wages wouldnt be included) and b, its not reliable and there are plenty of NRPs who will dick about with the maintenance including withholding it altogether as a means of control.

Venger · 30/11/2019 13:29

I’m not sure the public purse should be helping you to raise your child when you only work 20 hours a week . I’d be embarrassed in your situation

As for this, you have no idea why the PP works 20hrs and she has no need to justify it to you so you can probably stick your embarrassment where your morals don't shine.

MuchBetterNow · 30/11/2019 13:29

And it's a serious crime she's committing. I can't believe some of the replies on here when you get threads where someone has been given a £1 extra in their change and are torn apart for keeping it.

lynsey91 · 30/11/2019 13:30

Yes I would report her. I reported someone a few years ago that I knew for sure was claiming benefits they were not entitled to. I have also recently reported a neighbour who, like the one you know, is claiming to be single with 3 children. Her boyfriend lives with her and works cash in hand around 30 hours a week.

Benefits are for people that need them not people who can't be bothered to work or lie about working. The girl could work during the day as her boyfriend works evenings so is home all day but she admits she doesn't want to. She has only worked 2 years since leaving school 11 years ago!

Betterversionofme · 30/11/2019 13:31

Exactly what DippyAvocado said at 12:46. Plus persecution of Jewish people was possible only because of involvement of neighbors (who reported because it was their civilian duty! Right?).

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/11/2019 13:33

@Purpletigers what's so immoral about what I'm doing? Plenty of parents only work part time. I will go back full time when DS is older. I'm certainly not embarrassed, it works for us.

lynsey91 · 30/11/2019 13:37

I am laughing at all the outraged posters who don't think the OP should report. Are you all cheating benefits too which is why you are all so against it?

If the woman is doing nothing wrong then nothing will happen will it? If she is doing something wrong then something will happen. If that is prison then she should not have claimed for money she was not entitled to

HeronLanyon · 30/11/2019 13:39

This all sounds like an awful mix of jealousy, moral superiority and nosiness.
Yes she may well be fraudulently claiming. If you wish to then you should report this.
Leave all comment about her parenting out of it. If she were spending fraudulently gained money on them would that be ok ? Sounds it from your mentioning it.
Why no mention of oculus services if you think the children are being emotionally neglected. Why no discussion about parenting help.
Honestly stop judging and snooping and just report the suspected fraud or not.

HeronLanyon · 30/11/2019 13:39

Social services

Derbee · 30/11/2019 13:40

Fucking Mumsnet. The only place where people will get furious about someone eating their cake in a cafe after paying the cheaper price to take out, yet support arseholes committing benefit fraud.

Definitely report her. She’s stealing from every single one of us.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/11/2019 13:41

@Purpletigers oh, and until the government actually cracks down on shit fathers who do not pay maintenance, of course it shouldn't be taken into account for benefits purposes. It will leave a lot of women who are not as fortunate as me in bad situations. Luckily, my ex isn't a piece of shit and he would never see me and his son living in poverty while he lives the high life.

Sportsnight · 30/11/2019 13:43

I don’t see how reporting her will help the kids. What’s your thinking, that it will get all her benefits stopped while they investigate, and that will make her spend more time with them at the play park?

Beautiful3 · 30/11/2019 13:44

Yes I would report her. I've reported my own brother for defrauding the benefits system. He worked full time and claimed to be a landlord, to his live in girlfriend and kids!! Ended up paying off his mortgage 10 years early!

Daffodil55 · 30/11/2019 13:44

Benefit fraud and all that goes with it will always be around and yes it is annoying knowing it may be going on under our noses. I would not be making anonymous calls but that is just me. Whether small or large scale fraud it is still fraud but what I roll my eyes at is the hypocrisy of some people. I mean people in my own family. I have one member who gives the impression she is a paragon of virtue and would never cheat or do something unlawful yet was almost clapping her hands telling me she paid way under the odds for some decorating work at home because "he asked could I pay cash."

I pointed out that the guy would probably not be declaring the £400 she paid him, not paying tax on it. It is still fraud.

She didn't like that and changed the subject.

dontalltalkatonce · 30/11/2019 13:45

Are you all cheating benefits too which is why you are all so against it?

If the woman is doing nothing wrong then nothing will happen will it?

No. And it doesn't matter if she's doing nothing wrong, all her benefits will be immediately stopped pending investigation if someone reports her, probably for months, then she'll be moved onto UC if she isn't already, but hey, then the OP will feel better about herself.

SusieOwl4 · 30/11/2019 13:45

how someone spends their benefits is entirely up to them and no one elses business - However if she is claiming benefits saying she is single and they boyfriend is living there full time - then that is a different matter . And if that is a known fact then yes report .

And for those saying the money does not go to someone else - then yes it would if all those falsely claiming were caught - because there would be a bigger pot .

I was thinking today that mumsnet could be used for much better things such as campaigns about how the benefit system could be improved so that people don't fall through the net and there are many challenges to this - especially for people who have long term illnesses . But it seems on here some posters think it should just be a free for all . Hope the father is not one of those feckless men that Boris was referring to (:

Purpletigers · 30/11/2019 13:46

Venger- I would hazard a guess she works 20 hours because she’s being supported by benefits .
I don’t think that should be a choice you have tbh.

That’s why we now have universal credit . You can thank all the benefit fraudsters for that ! Genuine people are suffering because of them .

ApacheTomcat · 30/11/2019 13:47

"He is ‘unemployed’ but I believe he works full time for cash in hand. (Some kind of joinery or building work)"

I find it interesting that you don't seem to be in quite as much of a rush to report the boyfriend.

"we all know this as she documents everything on Facebook)"

Yes, I find that Facebook is always such an incredibly accurate record of people's lives. If someone posts on there, it must absolutely be true.

"If so how would you report anonymously?"

Surely you must be proud to be so civic-minded? Why wouldn't you want everyone to know just what a fine and upstanding citizen you are? No need for anonymity!

WhoKnewBeefStew · 30/11/2019 13:47

Personally if you think she's committing benefit fraud I'd report her. If she's doing nothing wrong they won't find anything. Simple as. People saying she may go to jail and that's awful for the kids - well tbh that's on her, not you. You're not the one committing fraud.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/11/2019 13:49

@Purpletigers if I was working 40 hours a week I'd still be supported by benefits to pay for the extra childcare I'd be using. It wouldn't save anyone any money. I do not know ANY single parents who are earning enough not to have to claim anything for childcare. People like me are not the issue, low wages and the cost of childcare are.

SilverBangle · 30/11/2019 13:49

You don't need to explain your reasons OP. You suspect she is claiming benefits fraudulently. Just report her.

DowntownAbby · 30/11/2019 13:50

Of course you should report it, OP.

Absolutely laughable that so many on MN always jump in with the "yeh, but..." argument.

Shouldn't report a benefit cheat because someone else is cheating in a different way?

Utter jokers.

Babyg1995 · 30/11/2019 13:50

Coming from someone who works full time with 2 kids and pregnant and never claimed benefits I don't think you should report obviously her FB posts annoy you that she's getting nice stuff for her kids don't you have better things to do with your time ??? I couldn't do that to her kids

DuckWillow · 30/11/2019 13:51

Hmm! I e selected YABU simply because you are still not sure. You say she works 18 hours in a cafe? So that’s declared income and if she’s on UC it’s deducted pound for pound.

While we are in the subject of “free” money. You do realise many private landlords receive this “free money” in rent. Where’s the sneering “free money” comment for that?

By all means if you know he’s living there and it isn’t declared go ahead an report it.

Personally benefits don’t generally run to the k8nd of things your saying she is buying. My bet would be on some other undeclared income.

My neighbour is doing very well at the moment....lots of luxury stuff but I happen to know she is growing and selling cannabis. That’s what’s funding it...not benefits. As far as other people who don’t know her little sideline are aware she is buying all her stuff with her benefit money.
And yes I have reported her.

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