My feed

to access all these features


To contemplate reporting someone for possible benefit fraud? WWYD?

404 replies

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:16

So there’s this girl I know. Not a close friend but someone I know and would say hi to in the street. We are Facebook friends. I know a bit about her through mutual friends.

She is claiming as a single parent of two kids but her boyfriend lives with her. Full time. They have actually just become engaged and she is pregnant. He has 3 kids to someone else with which he sees 2 of them every other week.

He is ‘unemployed’ but I believe he works full time for cash in hand. (Some kind of joinery or building work)

What has made me consider reporting her (if that’s something you can even do??) is that she spends all her ‘free’ money on weekly hair up appointments, professional make up done. New nails etc (we all know this as she documents everything on Facebook) always out at restaurants and nights out. Almost like she is bragging.
Doesn’t look like she spends much on her kids. They always look a bit scruffy and bored in her photos. (Think tops that look too small or worn out)

And now that she’s pregnant she’s uploading loads of expensive purchases for the baby (ted baker everything, massive pram ordained in Jewell’s)

Now I know some of the replies I will get here will be along the lines of ‘what’s it got to do with you how she spends her money’

  • well yes it has nothing to do with me but it is really irritating that I work full time with kids and pay a lot in tax and have to scrimp and save. I don’t get all of the luxuries she does. Yet ina round about way I contribute to it.

‘How do you know she’s on benefits’ our mutual friend knows she is for certain. Plus she works 18 hours per week in a cafe so it’s not rocket science.

So would you report someone claiming as a single parent when she isn’t?

YABU- Dont report her and don’t give it another thought

YANBU- Do report her

If so how would you report anonymously?
OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

TheMorningSun · 01/12/2019 17:07

If anyone had read my original post I was talking of those I know who are committing benefit fraud but it cannot be proven. And if someone is claiming poverty (as in using food banks etc) they shouldn't be spending a penny on hair extensions and false nails IMO. I am well aware things are not always as they seem and have realised that you need to dissect what you type on here before you post it! Anyone who is reading this and is legitimately struggling, I wish you all the best Flowers

AmbitiouslyFit · 01/12/2019 18:37

Have you just outed yourself morning sun? Shock

Graphista · 01/12/2019 18:49

@Lynsey91 not everyone gets their money suspended but do you really think it’s remotely acceptable to take the risk that it would be when the op has ZERO concrete proof that any fraud is even happening?!

Pretty shitty to want to do that to a family especially this close to Christmas. Op doesn’t even have the guts to post under usual name (which is fairly standard for these posts) she doesn’t even want other mners who know her regular username to judge her on her stance on this - likely because she KNOWS she’s in the wrong!

“What is there for them to investigate?” Because reporting gives them a reason to scrutinise EVERYTHING and that takes time because god knows they are not exactly efficient! You’d THINK common sense would dictate that they could simply check the claim on the computer, see they’re not claiming to be a single parent and dismiss the report as malicious but common sense, efficiency and competency are strangers to the dwp!

Even if the claimant is doing nothing wrong as has been said REPEATEDLY her payments could be suspended for many months until they deign to acknowledge that. How are she and her family supposed to survive in the meantime?

You so very clearly have no idea what it’s like barely managing, dreading every budget, every legislation change, every cabinet reshuffle, your stomach in knots every time the letterbox goes, being scared of “looking” “too well” to neighbours, Facebook stalkers, school-gate gossips...

It really is starting to feel like living in a police state with stasi like set ups with the state encouraging and rewarding people for informing on ordinary people just trying to get by!

An estimated 130,000 people have DIED as a result of austerity policies - we don’t have the exact figures because this govt keeps stonewalling even official bodies on FOI requests on the matter.

We have wheelchair bound and amputees dying in fucking doorways!

Children arriving at school too hungry to learn or barely even able to stay awake, teachers using their own money to buy sodding loo roll for their schools!

This IS a wealthy country but the wealth is concentrated among a select few, when my mother started working ceo pay was 3-5 times that of their lowest paid employees, now its 150 times, and others are suffering.

Pp are right re op she is directing her bitterness and ire in the wrong direction, I wonder who she works for, I wonder if she knows the salary of her employers ceo, what profits they declared last tax year, did they pay all the tax they were supposed to, could they reasonably pay better wages an actual living wage? THAT is where she should be looking

It’s an absolute disgrace

“and it really makes me sick sometimes how many people play the system and waltz into the offices done up to the nines” frankly maybe you need a different job? How someone LOOKS is meaningless with respect to what benefits they may be eligible for, it tells you nothing about their financial circumstances, their support systems, their health... Quit judging people on looks!

“I’m only repeating what my sister said” which again is just GOSSIP!

At this point I’m thinking a few posters might benefit from watching

And considering the harm gossip can do, AND as a few pps said - if they’re gossiping TO you then chances are they’re gossiping ABOUT you too. What is the person who slated her to you saying ABOUT you op? Is she saying it to the person you’re considering reporting?

Have you mentioned ANYTHING about possible reporting to HER? Because if so, then it’s highly likely if you did report, or even if someone else did that she’ll mention it to the person you’re following and judging.

“know of local people claiming things they shouldn't be but you have no proof “ and that’s the point - with no proof you DON’T actually know!

@thequeef sadly helenadove has now left mn as she has had endless problems logging in and mn have been little to no help. I consider it a real loss to the site

I well remember splitting with my ex (his infidelity), going to the local council office with dd in buggy to apply for council tax single person discount. I wasn’t wearing my rings any more because of the emotions of what I was going through (I think I’d flung them at ex at some point), I was queuing with everyone else, reached the counter to be served by a woman who looked very young and I suspect had little life experience, I don’t think she was more than 20 yo, she saw the council tax application form (which was also the housing benefit application form but I wasn’t applying for that at this stage), she looked me up and down disdainfully, thrust her hand out in a way to take the form, turned her back to me and muttered to a colleague perhaps not realising I could hear “another scrounging single mum” in the most disgusted tone! Anyone knows me on here knows I’m normally quite feisty but I really was having a shit time and just didn’t have it in me to challenge her on her behaviour, which made me feel even MORE like shit!

It’s an attitude I had since come across frequently but when they are overtly rude/inappropriate I will call them out on it.

And I agree morningsun was absolute clear in what they said and how they think about claimants, again I’m willing to bet they’ve never NEEDED to be a claimant themselves.

To contemplate reporting someone for possible benefit fraud? WWYD?
blubelle7 · 01/12/2019 19:05

Well said..

Very disappointing to know people involved in making decisions about people's lives and their children have such superficial attitudes like morning sun (You made yourself clear in the first post-you judge people based on their looks with no proof except a hunch). No wonder people are dying. Next thing you know they will be criticising people on benefits for daring to look well groomed or even wearing matching socks.

malificent7 · 01/12/2019 19:24

Nice to see an op getting in the spirit of Christmas!

Groovinpeanut · 01/12/2019 19:47

I never understand why these people who appoint themselves the 'benefit police' feel the need to resort to skulduggery. If you feel so strongly about these terrible people stealing benefits why not report them and put your name to it? If it's something you feel so strongly about why not do it above board?
I work, I pay my taxes. Do I begrudge someone a few luxuries in life? No! There are millions wasted that are more significant, benefits are a very small part of that.
I'm more interested in my life than poking my nose into others.

TheMorningSun · 01/12/2019 19:55

it really makes me sick sometimes how many people play the system and waltz into the offices done up to the nines

Playing the system, not being a genuine part of it.

Also, I don't make any decisions about lives, I never said I did. Genuine question about whether tax payers would more likely report suspected fraudsters as they are directly affected financially (yes, perhaps a small amount but still).
There are probably 12,000 other angles about to come at me but I think this is enough MN for forever tonight!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/12/2019 19:56

@Graphista. Helena is back. I’ve just saw her on another thread. If I’m not cracking up. Grin

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/12/2019 19:58

She’s on a thread. To clarify what a council house actually looks like.
Can’t link sorry

SaveTheTreesPlease · 01/12/2019 20:05

Very well said, Graphista. I wish people would direct their anger at the tax avoiders who fuck this country over to the tune of billions. But no, a mum who claims benefits and gets her nails done? Burn the witch!

roiseandjim · 01/12/2019 20:13

I reported someone for disability fraud. It was really easy. I know for a fact she's lying about her illness and like your friend she has every single thing on SM.

Bluerussian · 01/12/2019 20:21

I understand everybody's point of view, what I do not understand is knowing and talking about other people's personal finances. I have absolutely no idea what my neighbours do for money - one side are retired like me, they used to work and have pensions, fair enough; on the other side they work, I don't know the details but he is in IT. Regarding anybody else, I know nothing, neither do they know anything about my income.

I've never got into conversation about other people concerning what benefits they claim if any and if someone did want to talk to me about it, I'd divert the conversation and make it clear I'm not interested in gossip.

Are we turning into a nation of curtain twitchers I wonder? I was brought up with gossip - my mother and her relatives - and that put me off for life.

Darbs76 · 01/12/2019 20:31

Yes report her. Why should people get to have all these extras when they aren’t entitled to it, benefit fraud is wrong

MidnightMystery · 01/12/2019 20:32

How do you know that her boyfriend gives her a penny ? Maybe the kids dad don't pay maintenance and the boyfriend doesn't support them so if she wasn't on benefits her children would be well worse off?

Obviously you don't know her situation fully if you arnt close, not that claiming is the right thing if not entitled to it just make sure you know the facts before sending her kids into care.

Graphista · 01/12/2019 21:11

“Next thing you know they will be criticising people on benefits for daring to look well groomed or even wearing matching socks.” You’re rather late to the party on that score unless that’s deliberate sarcasm?

People getting assessed for PiP are already dealing with such ridiculous attitudes. I’ve a friend with cerebral palsy who an assessor basically accused of faking because she doesn’t always use her wheelchair, another with a child with autism where the child was described by the assessor as able to do a number of things he’s NEVER been able to including speak, another who’s been profoundly blind since birth can apparently see well enough to read...

@awwlookatmybabyspider i shall have to track her down for making me look a liar 😂

“But no, a mum who claims benefits and gets her nails done? Burn the witch!” Not sure you meant it but you’ve highlighted part of the problem - misogyny! Most benefits claimants are women, most tax avoiders men. Certain benefits and other policies discriminate against women, the rape clause, 2 child limit, bedroom tax, the lack of enforcement of cm payments...

alislim · 01/12/2019 21:29

I would 'grass someone in' and I have.

RuffleCrow · 01/12/2019 21:36

I wouldn't. Who's going to lose out if their mum is caught? Her kids. Not their fault if she's dodgy but there the ones who will have less money as a result. I don't know how you could possibly know what she's claiming anyway. You don't stop being a single mum because you have a boyfriend. She may well already have informed the dwp of changes. Maybe switch to Eastenders or Corrie if you're lacking drama in your life.

orangeisnotmycolour · 01/12/2019 21:45

I'd report her. It's fraud, illegal and morally wrong. Down to the authorities then to prove it.

RuffleCrow · 01/12/2019 22:25

Even if she's cheating the system it's a victimless crime. More benefits go unclaimed each year than are cheated from the system. Who are you actually helping by sticking your oar in?

blubelle7 · 02/12/2019 03:57

My friend's son (20s) has autism and cerebral palsy, completely non-verbal and the mental age of a toddler. He is in care and will never be independent, however He has to submit a not fit to work certificate every 3 months from his GP to get his PIP- seriously, common sense tells you when you meet him that this is the case, fine be bureaucratic and get the first certificate, but to request a new one every 3 months when he has no hope of getting better? They just take the piss.

Honestly people have bought this benefit scroungers nonsense hook, line and sinker but let's focus on the vulnerable in society and forget about each Amazon Fulfilment Centre being paid £4million in taxpayer funded subsidies in exchange for low quality, low wage, insecure jobs, with predatory business practices that have decimated the high street, while paying nothing in tax, even claiming tax rebates. The biggest welfare recipients in this country, "playing the system" to suit themselves to the tune of millions are the corporations but no you are poor because of Susie down the road being a single mum on benefits

RuffleCrow · 02/12/2019 06:32

This ^^

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 02/12/2019 07:20

Even if she's cheating the system it's a victimless crime

Benefit fraud isn’t a victimless crime Hmm

Many people have worked hard and paid their taxes over to the state so it’s taking from them.

HeronLanyon · 02/12/2019 07:35

Nonsense to say this is a victimless crime. I pay tax and personally as a socialist would be happy to pay more tax. I’m blowed if those cheating the system (she may not be) are seen as anything other than taking money needed elsewhere!

Sleepyblueocean · 02/12/2019 08:15

blubelle7 the not fit for work certificate must be for ESA not PIP. PIP isn't an out of work benefit although of course it is ridiculous in this situation that someone has to do it for ESA.

mumsie2019 · 02/12/2019 08:33

I think stay out of it and maybe she manages to spend on herself and I would be happy for anyone "poor or rich to have a night out, parents are entitled to a night out fancy restaurant or not.
She works 18 hours... well it is a start and a effort isn't it? Imagine if she has issues or health issues what would you know!
Some people do not dress there children flash or are flashy if they are rich or poor.. it doesn't matter to some.
I'm sure they are happy at home munching on chips in there shitty clothes.
Be pleased she's found someone who cares about her.
She doesn't take her children to where? We aren't all sheep.
When she posts a pic she's doing drugs or bashing her kids then call otherwise mind your own and unfriend her your not friends.
Jealousy is such a ugly emotion...

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.