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To contemplate reporting someone for possible benefit fraud? WWYD?

404 replies

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:16

So there’s this girl I know. Not a close friend but someone I know and would say hi to in the street. We are Facebook friends. I know a bit about her through mutual friends.

She is claiming as a single parent of two kids but her boyfriend lives with her. Full time. They have actually just become engaged and she is pregnant. He has 3 kids to someone else with which he sees 2 of them every other week.

He is ‘unemployed’ but I believe he works full time for cash in hand. (Some kind of joinery or building work)

What has made me consider reporting her (if that’s something you can even do??) is that she spends all her ‘free’ money on weekly hair up appointments, professional make up done. New nails etc (we all know this as she documents everything on Facebook) always out at restaurants and nights out. Almost like she is bragging.
Doesn’t look like she spends much on her kids. They always look a bit scruffy and bored in her photos. (Think tops that look too small or worn out)

And now that she’s pregnant she’s uploading loads of expensive purchases for the baby (ted baker everything, massive pram ordained in Jewell’s)

Now I know some of the replies I will get here will be along the lines of ‘what’s it got to do with you how she spends her money’

  • well yes it has nothing to do with me but it is really irritating that I work full time with kids and pay a lot in tax and have to scrimp and save. I don’t get all of the luxuries she does. Yet ina round about way I contribute to it.

‘How do you know she’s on benefits’ our mutual friend knows she is for certain. Plus she works 18 hours per week in a cafe so it’s not rocket science.

So would you report someone claiming as a single parent when she isn’t?

YABU- Dont report her and don’t give it another thought

YANBU- Do report her

If so how would you report anonymously?
OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

DDIJ · 30/11/2019 12:56

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Marthadumptruck · 30/11/2019 12:57

keep your nose out
nobody likes a grass !

Concentrate on your own life ffs

dontalltalkatonce · 30/11/2019 12:57

This is why I almost never post photos of myself or my family on SM, and never of my children, or ever post about them or my personal life beyond the banal, and limit 'friends' to family and people I actually know in real life, no colleagues or former ones, have no bio info on mine and very tight privacy settings. There's no way you know the ins and outs of this person's personal set up. My teen actually only has one SM account and has learned to be very strict with it, my pre-teen, NO SM.

I NEVER discuss finances except with family or very close friends, in person.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:58


Which is fine- me neither/

But do you post roughly 8 statuses a day showing what you’re having for breakfast, a bus selfie with your kids, Your the colour of your new nails, a tag at the hair dressers, a selfie of your new outfit, a tag at the restaurant, a photo of your three course meal, a photo of your cocktail,

OP posts:
moccaicecream · 30/11/2019 12:58

report her.

I have a severely disabled DD who I care for. We get a pittance in benefits and cannot even heat the house properly. Such people should not get away with stealing. she knows what she is doing. Just report her please!

MistyCloud · 30/11/2019 12:59


Gosh you do know a lot about this lady and her family. I can't believe you have found ALL of this out from 'facebook.' And your comments about her children, and how she is with her children are very rude.

Sticky-beak is a term that springs to mind.

Benefit fraud is not cool obviously, but you don't sound like a very pleasant person at all. Very resentful and bitter and angry. As a pp said, it's not a good look.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:59


I had expected loads of replies like yours but there has actually been a lot of thought in some replies and good advice.

Have a nice day

OP posts:
Venger · 30/11/2019 13:00

I am unwaged and too much merriment would arouse suspicion.

FIL claims he has depression but I saw the lying fucker smile yesterday. I'm going to report him.

OP, you are far too invested. You sound judgemental of how much time she takes with her appearance vs how little time you think she spends with her DC, I say 'think' because you're basing it all on FB posts and as we all know everyone ALWAYS 100% tells the truth on Facebook. Have you not heard that the grass is green on the other side because its fertilised with bullshit? You also sound jealous if her restaurant trips and of her getting her nails and hair done.

You have absolutely no proof that she's claiming fraudulently other than hearsay from a third party and stalking her Facebook, the internet equivalent of net-curtain twitching to see what the neighbours are up to.

Let it go and focus on your own life.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/11/2019 13:00

If so how would you report anonymously?

5 seconds on Google gets you this:

smugmug · 30/11/2019 13:00

Report her -without a doubt
Benefit cheating is cheating vulnerable people

moccaicecream · 30/11/2019 13:01

Gosh you do know a lot about this lady and her family. I can't believe you have found ALL of this out from 'facebook.'

you would be surprised how stupid some people are. Some put an incredible amount of personal stuff in SM and don't even have a restricted profile so every Dick and Tracey can look them up.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 13:01


I also said details from mutual friends. Not solely Facebook.

I don’t agree the comments about how she is with her kids are rude. I didn’t say anything really horrible or swear. I stated the observations she presents for all to see.

Enjoy your day

OP posts:
Venger · 30/11/2019 13:01

We get a pittance in benefits and cannot even heat the house properly. Such people should not get away with stealing. she knows what she is doing. Just report her please!

Your situation is awful and the government should be ashamed that people are living like this as well as working towards rectifying it, however maliciously reporting this woman with no hint of proof whatsoever will not mean more money for you. They're not going to take it from her and hand it to everyone else.

Ihatesundays · 30/11/2019 13:01

I’ve never understood on MN why it’s okay to benefit cheat because big companies don’t pay tax.
But if you accidentally forget to pay for an apple at the supermarket you are a thief and you must ring them up and tell them immediately.
Weird - maybe send a letter warning her.

Passthecherrycoke · 30/11/2019 13:02

Sounds like you want to see her BURN! Reporting people for naughty things is nearly always driven by dislike of them so go for it.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 13:03

Ok thanks everyone

Lots of mixed responses as I expected.

I will have a think about it and decide what to do.

I won’t revisit this post now as some of the responses are just trying to attack me and I don’t want to dwell on them today.

Have a good day everyone

OP posts:
MistyCloud · 30/11/2019 13:03


It doesn't matter what she spends it on. If you think fraud is being committed, report it. The MN playground 'don't sneak' can be ignored, probably comes from similar fraudsters.

She is a silly cow to get upduffed to this serial breeder, engagement ring or not - I'd give it two years at most before she's on her own again.

WOW. You accuse people who are saying 'don't be a sneaky grass' of being benefit fraudsters, and then go on to call the woman the OP is on about a 'silly cow,' and her DP a 'serial breeder.'

Aren't you just LOVELY?! Hmm

No-one thinks benefit fraud is OK! But the OP is just coming across as very rude and unpleasant and nosey and bitter.

TARSCOUT · 30/11/2019 13:04

Yep, I would report if I was sure. I work 4 days a week and if I could get some of her benefits I could afford to work 3 days. Last 2 days I have been in agony with joint pain caused by crohn's but still made my work. Also had to pay over £1k 2 years ago for red cross transport to get radiotherapy and chemo because I wasn't I'll enough for patient transport! Yes, report, others are losing out because of people like her.

egontoste · 30/11/2019 13:04

Fraud is fraud, whichever way you look at it. And yes, you can report things like this anonymously.

Ted27 · 30/11/2019 13:04

I have a job, quite a good one in fact. If I worked full time I probaby wouldnt be entitled to tax credits. But I work part time so I am entitled.

If it makes you feel better, my son is likely to lose his DLA in 6 months when he turns 16. Then I will lose my tax credits.

But for now despite my very nice civil service job I am entitled to them so I will claim them.

I am just trying to make the point that the benefits system is very complex, entitlement is complex. Many, many working people are in receipt of benefits, legally so

dontalltalkatonce · 30/11/2019 13:04

I have a disabled child, too, mocca. Too busy fighting battles to get proper treatment for him to be bothered about someone on FB who might be fraudulently claiming. In fact, I did know for a fact a relative was in the past - classic of single parent with partner living with her who worked sometimes. Her life was shit, she struggles with depression, addicted to cannabis, her partner's a cheating ratbag who does drugs. Really didn't see the point of making her life even worse by reporting her. She was hardly minted.

MistyCloud · 30/11/2019 13:04

Didn't get the answers you wanted @WWYDhey?

So you're flouncing.

OK. Wink

Chickychoccyegg · 30/11/2019 13:05

you dont know if she's claiming as a single person or not.
her boyfriend might not contribute towards the dc but maybe treats her to hair and make up.
you dont know what shes claiming is in any way fraudulent, just because she gets her hair and make up done weekly.
even if i thought it might be, i could report just before Christmas possibly ruining Christmas for her dc, especially if you turned out to be wrong.
i do fun things with my dc, i dont post it on fb, i do sometimes post if on a nightout with dh, doesnt mean a thing.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/11/2019 13:05

No, I wouldn't.

I am a single parent working 20 hours a week and getting tax credit top ups.

From the outside, I look as if I have a lot of money. I travel first class on the train, go on multiple holidays a year, own designer handbags, get my nails done every month, go out for cocktails.

I am not committing benefit fraud. I travel first class on the train because my ex (DS's dad) is a driver and gets discount tickets. I go on multiple holidays because my ex is on a good wage (higher rate taxpayer) and pays me a lot of maintenance. I own designer handbags because my DM buys me them as gifts for birthdays and Christmas (I am an only child and she can afford it). I get my nails done every month because I have very low outgoings, my bills are cheap and I don't own a car.

I have been asked if I am doing sex work on the side as the person couldn't believe that "I can afford my lifestyle as a single mum."

Not everything is as it appears. Mind your own damn business.

JockTamsonsBairns · 30/11/2019 13:05

De-friend her, and carry on with your own life?
I don't know the financial situation of my closest friends to this degree, let alone FB acquaintances. Perhaps her mum pays for her ridiculously regular hair appointments? Maybe she uses her child maintenance money? No-one knows, not us, and not you.
It's actually quite difficult to scam the DWP these days, so she's bound to get caught at some point if indeed she's claiming money she's not entitled to.
You clearly don't like her at all, and maybe with good reason, but there is no part of this woman's life you haven't cast judgement on, from her DC's clothes to the expression on their faces.
Why not just own the fact that you're reporting her because you don't like her, rather than out of some faux concern about stealing from the nhs or however you want to frame it?

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