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To contemplate reporting someone for possible benefit fraud? WWYD?

404 replies

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:16

So there’s this girl I know. Not a close friend but someone I know and would say hi to in the street. We are Facebook friends. I know a bit about her through mutual friends.

She is claiming as a single parent of two kids but her boyfriend lives with her. Full time. They have actually just become engaged and she is pregnant. He has 3 kids to someone else with which he sees 2 of them every other week.

He is ‘unemployed’ but I believe he works full time for cash in hand. (Some kind of joinery or building work)

What has made me consider reporting her (if that’s something you can even do??) is that she spends all her ‘free’ money on weekly hair up appointments, professional make up done. New nails etc (we all know this as she documents everything on Facebook) always out at restaurants and nights out. Almost like she is bragging.
Doesn’t look like she spends much on her kids. They always look a bit scruffy and bored in her photos. (Think tops that look too small or worn out)

And now that she’s pregnant she’s uploading loads of expensive purchases for the baby (ted baker everything, massive pram ordained in Jewell’s)

Now I know some of the replies I will get here will be along the lines of ‘what’s it got to do with you how she spends her money’

  • well yes it has nothing to do with me but it is really irritating that I work full time with kids and pay a lot in tax and have to scrimp and save. I don’t get all of the luxuries she does. Yet ina round about way I contribute to it.

‘How do you know she’s on benefits’ our mutual friend knows she is for certain. Plus she works 18 hours per week in a cafe so it’s not rocket science.

So would you report someone claiming as a single parent when she isn’t?

YABU- Dont report her and don’t give it another thought

YANBU- Do report her

If so how would you report anonymously?
OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

SusieOwl4 · 30/11/2019 13:53


If you are deliberately committing fraud then surely you know this is a risk ?

Its a difficult situation because some people do make genuine mistakes - I am dealing with such a person at the moment - and they have to go through the same procedure - and it is scary - I am not sure how a person would prove how many nights a week a person sleeps there to defend themselves ? But how do you draw the line and define single?

CaMePlaitPas · 30/11/2019 13:53

Beware the green eyed monster.

Purpletigers · 30/11/2019 13:53

Wax - I’m not blaming you . I’m blaming the system . You aren’t doing anything wrong and I’m glad your child’s father is supporting him/her .
However I can understand the ops point of view entirely , it must be frustrating for people to watch those who do very little living a much better lifestyle that they can ever hope to achieve .
It breeds resentment and that’s never healthy for any society .

Purpletigers · 30/11/2019 13:57

Rent to a private landlord isn’t free money to them. Someone has to pay for the house and it’s upkeep . The renters are being provided with accommodation . The renter is the one getting something for free not the landlord. Why is this shite always spouted on these threads ?

Span1elsRock · 30/11/2019 13:58

The Benefit system is there to protect the elderly, the disabled, and those in genuine need.

Too many users and abusers mean there is less for those who do need the help.

Report her. The shame is on the claimant, not the reporter.

SweetSally · 30/11/2019 14:00

It's a difficult situation but I don't think you will be reporting her for the right reasons.

How she parents her children when it comes to entertainment is her decision and you can't change that with or without her benefits she will probably prioritize her hairdresser appointments. How she presents herself on Facebook should not be any of your concern. Facebook is FAKE and people go above and beyond to create a certain image of themselves there which is not real life.

As for shopping - she could easily be buying Ted Baker clothes on Marketplace from other people or eBay and paying a fraction of the price for "second hand items"

As for the boyfriend - are you sure you are not jealous of them having quality couples time?

I don't think your reasons to report her are valid and won't support any claims to a fraud officer and you will make a fool of yourself if you were to write a suspected fraud report to any institution in the UK.

Having said that - the only reasonable piece of evidence you can present is her boyfriend contributing to the household and her being registered as single. Also, him living at her house full time (if she's on house benefits too) will be of a concern to any housing/benefit officer.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/11/2019 14:01

@Purpletigers I understand OP's frustrations, but the point I was making is that we do not know for sure that she is committing benefit fraud, as from the outside it might look like that's what I am doing to someone who doesn't know me and only sees what's on facebook.

I actually agree the system needs an overhaul, but I think the most important issue should be cracking down on fathers who don't pay maintenance. The unpaid maintenance bill last year was for MILLIONS of pounds. If the government made this a priority and made them pay towards their children or face severe consequences, maybe there wouldn't be a need for so many women to claim top ups.

Bluntness100 · 30/11/2019 14:02

Why do you keep denying you're jealous? Your envy is literally dripping from every post. She gets to go out, she gets to pamper her self, you don't. She gets so many nice things and you get nothing.

There will always be people that have more than you op.

Stop face book following people you're jealous of. Report or not, who cares, but do youtself a massive favour and stop following women you're jealous of.

QuiQuaiQuod · 30/11/2019 14:04

If I genuinely thought I had the correct facts then yes I would. There is no place for benefit fraud in society

Then she goes to jail! So what. She is breaking the law. It would be on her head if her kids were out in to care. Not the OP!

Fucking Mumsnet. The only place where people will get furious about someone eating their cake in a cafe after paying the cheaper price to take out, yet support arseholes committing benefit fraud.

Definitely report her. She’s stealing from every single one of us.


QuiQuaiQuod · 30/11/2019 14:06

The Benefit system is there to protect the elderly, the disabled, and those in genuine need.

Too many users and abusers mean there is less for those who do need the help.

Report her. The shame is on the claimant, not the reporter.

and this ^^

riddles26 · 30/11/2019 14:08

This all sounds like an awful mix of jealousy, moral superiority and nosiness.
Yes she may well be fraudulently claiming.
Leave all comment about her parenting out of it. If she were spending fraudulently gained money on them would that be ok ? Sounds it from your mentioning it.
Why no mention of oculus services if you think the children are being emotionally neglected. Why no discussion about parenting help.
Honestly stop judging and snooping

This pp (and many others) have hit the nail on the head. I believe all benefit fraud should be reported regardless of who the money is being spent on. If you genuinely believe she is fraudulently claiming then report and let HMRC take it from there. But stop with the nosiness and moral superiority - social media is not an accurate description of anyones life. Report and unfollow her

SilverySurfer · 30/11/2019 14:11

For those who don't believe that some people consider benefits as a lifestyle choice might want to have a read of a thread currently near the top of the first page on the Money Matters Board.

Drabarni · 30/11/2019 14:11

And if the woman isn't doing anything wrong, her benefit is frozen and her and more importantly her kids go without.
Have you shares in a local food bank?
You sound so jealous btw, not a nice trait.

lynsey91 · 30/11/2019 14:13

@dontalltalkatonce do you have proof that if someone is reported all their benefits are stopped while they are investigated?

I don't see that being true. Obviously not everyone that reports someone is absolutely sure the person they are reporting is in the wrong and some will be doing it just to be nasty.

One of my friends reported someone she thought was cheating benefits (they weren't) and I am pretty certain that person's benefits were never stopped even for a short while

GinNotGym19 · 30/11/2019 14:13

This is the thing you don’t KNOW she’s committing fraud!
It’s all whispers and gossip from jealous 3rd parties added to Facebook posts.
It’s so malicious to get her benefits suspended because of 3rd party whispers!

Bluntness100 · 30/11/2019 14:13

If the op was reporting because of a moral objection to benefit fraud, which we are all against, and she knew for a fact, that would be very different.

But she doesn't know what benefits this woman receives. It could be benefits she's fully entitled to with a partner living with her. Right now he's officially unemployed and she's got kids. So there is a high chance in that scenario she's entitled to benefits and is not claiming fraudulently.

He would be the fraudulent one if he's working and claiming benefits, but she doesn't care about him, she's not wanting to report him.

Her posts are all about how she spends on her self, how she has nights out, and how the op has none of that. She doesn't give two fucks if he's working and claiming, it's because she's envious of this woman she wants to hurt her.

Inebriati · 30/11/2019 14:14

Every time some cunt reports a woman on benefits for fraud, she gets her benefits suspended while they investigate.

You people always just mysteriously 'know', don't you.

Meanwhile there are more kids being taken into care than ever, and there is more money in unclaimed benefits that benefit fraud costs.

Lifeisabeach09 · 30/11/2019 14:15

The renter is the one getting something for free not the landlord.

On the contrary, the landlord is getting his/her investment paid for by the state whilst they live elsewhere. The renter is getting an unsecured roof over their head.

Drabarni · 30/11/2019 14:16


Come on, people like the OP don't have friends they have to take every opportunity for false friends on fb as much as they can.
They are too jealous and bitter.

OP, you do what she's doing if it will make you happy. Give your job up and stay at home with your kids, do you have a husband to support you? If so, there's nothing to stop you. Your dh can put food on the table and pay bills. Do you need to work or are you taking the job that the unemployed could have?

MinTheMinx · 30/11/2019 14:22

Three things:

You 'don't know her well' so how can you think you know so much about her finances? Maybe a relative helps her out? Maybe it's all on credit?

There are plenty of people who don't post details of their kids on social media. She can post what she chooses, surely?

Facebook rarely represents real life because it's a magnet for insecure attention seekers who like to present their lives a certain way. If you're prone to jealousy - and you obviously are- you should definitely stay away (and maybe only have real friends on there if you really can't do without it).

donquixotedelamancha · 30/11/2019 14:22

If I genuinely thought I had the correct facts then yes I would. There is no place for benefit fraud in society

This. You should report any crime you are aware of.

Government snitch.

Presumably you say the same to anyone who shops a rapist or a murderer? This is the same abuse suffered by those who reported babies dying in some hospitals or large tax evasion schemes.

People who whistle-blow on criminals are courageous. People who abuse them for it are gits.

GwenCooper81 · 30/11/2019 14:22

In a heartbeat I'd report her, her boyfriend as well.
Make sure you have all of the correct facts beforehand and do it. I'm pretty sure the fraud people will check her SM. It's illegal and immoral. If she goes to jail, tough shit, she won't, but she'll think twice about defrauding the rest of who don't swindle the tax credits.

damnthatanxiety · 30/11/2019 14:23

LolaDabestest maybe if there were fewer benefit fraudsters, there would have been more money in the pot to fund proper NHS care for your relative. Of course we should report fraudulent behaviour. Why wouldn't you. Would you report child abuse? A paedophile? Domestic Violence? Theft? If not, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???? If you would, then why is benefit fraud not a crime in your mind?

cabbageking · 30/11/2019 14:24

I would review what you know to be true and not what you think or feel may be so.
Then decide if I have enough or not.

I would report someone I was reasonably certain was claiming benefits incorrectly.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/11/2019 14:27

Benefit fraud is theft. Reporting it does no harm - if her situation is legitimate she will be unaffected.

The government does not have eyes and ears everywhere. If you saw any other crime being committed you would report it, this is no different.

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