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To contemplate reporting someone for possible benefit fraud? WWYD?

404 replies

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:16

So there’s this girl I know. Not a close friend but someone I know and would say hi to in the street. We are Facebook friends. I know a bit about her through mutual friends.

She is claiming as a single parent of two kids but her boyfriend lives with her. Full time. They have actually just become engaged and she is pregnant. He has 3 kids to someone else with which he sees 2 of them every other week.

He is ‘unemployed’ but I believe he works full time for cash in hand. (Some kind of joinery or building work)

What has made me consider reporting her (if that’s something you can even do??) is that she spends all her ‘free’ money on weekly hair up appointments, professional make up done. New nails etc (we all know this as she documents everything on Facebook) always out at restaurants and nights out. Almost like she is bragging.
Doesn’t look like she spends much on her kids. They always look a bit scruffy and bored in her photos. (Think tops that look too small or worn out)

And now that she’s pregnant she’s uploading loads of expensive purchases for the baby (ted baker everything, massive pram ordained in Jewell’s)

Now I know some of the replies I will get here will be along the lines of ‘what’s it got to do with you how she spends her money’

  • well yes it has nothing to do with me but it is really irritating that I work full time with kids and pay a lot in tax and have to scrimp and save. I don’t get all of the luxuries she does. Yet ina round about way I contribute to it.

‘How do you know she’s on benefits’ our mutual friend knows she is for certain. Plus she works 18 hours per week in a cafe so it’s not rocket science.

So would you report someone claiming as a single parent when she isn’t?

YABU- Dont report her and don’t give it another thought

YANBU- Do report her

If so how would you report anonymously?
OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:42


Sorry I’m not a new poster. I name changed specifically as if I reported her I would be doing so anonymously.

Now I understand why some posters start with it have name changed for this’ and I will state this in future

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/11/2019 12:43

Do you hate millionaire tax evaders, too @Endeavour1971

hotcuppaplease · 30/11/2019 12:45

I really doubt she is committing benefit fraud. Working people can claim universal credit/ heritage benefits.
How she presents her life to the outside world probably doesn't reflect the truth.
Your post reeks of jealousy and Tory propaganda.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:46

I wouldn’t say the children are uncared for or neglected exactly.
It would just be nice to see her say she’s out taking them somewhere fun each weekend rather than weekly nights out with her fiancé. (And I mean every single week without fail) the kids are sent to her mums.

I realise how judgy that sounds of me but I’m all about giving your kids experiences and attention.

It could be that their real dad or grandparents are making sure they do nice things while she is out every week. Although I recall her saying he was a waste of space etc.

OP posts:
DippyAvocado · 30/11/2019 12:46

I wouldn't because I don't like the whole concept of members of the public being expected to tattle to the authorities about their neighbours. It's all a bit communist-era Russia. The government should have their own monitoring systems in place.

Ted27 · 30/11/2019 12:46

I never usually comment on these posts, but it does concern me how people seem to know the ins and outs of other peoples finances.

I am a civil servant, I work part time but still have a decent salary, more than some people have to live on. I am also in receipt of benefits. My son gets DLA, because of that I get tax credits. All legitimate. Other people may look at my life and comment on the holidays, I do get my hair done every 4 or 5 weeks, I even have the occasional facial.

So when you say you know she is 'claiming as a single person' what is she claiming - what benefits ? how much ? Do you know that - I expect not

drinkygin · 30/11/2019 12:47

You sound like a nosy cow who knows far too much of your neighbours business. Keep your nose out and get a life

DDIJ · 30/11/2019 12:48

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 30/11/2019 12:48

She's someone who's by your own words, not close, just someone you know through mutual friends and from what you nose at on her Facebook page.
In other words, you might not even know what you're talking about.

Doesn’t look like she spends much on her kids. They always look a bit scruffy and bored in her photos
You're basing the whole thing on what you think you have or haven't seen in a few snapshot photos.
Whether she's got a new necklace or what her kids are wearing.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:50


Tory propaganda? Not sure what you mean by that. Sorry.

I wouldn’t agree that I reek of jealousy as I don’t envy her life or want to swap with her.

Maybe it’s resentment to working 8.30-5 Monday to Friday and have not much money to show for it so I can’t give my kids everything I would like to.

OP posts:
gingergittable · 30/11/2019 12:50

You may find yourself a happier person if you spend more time on caring for your own emotional well being than watching others, tying yourself in knots over what they have and you don't.

Comparison is the thief of all joy.

SpamChaudFroid · 30/11/2019 12:51

massive pram ordained in Jewell’s

A consecrated pram? No wonder you're frothing.

DDIJ · 30/11/2019 12:51

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:52


Assuming that means you don’t have a job at the moment then claim benefits rightly so. Especially if your kids will have a good life as a result.
Good luck

OP posts:
Keepmewarm · 30/11/2019 12:52

Why would you be Facebook friends with someone you don’t like?

Trinkts · 30/11/2019 12:52

Maybe send her an anonymous letter outlining all of your concerns. Tell her she is at risk of being reported unless she does the right thing. She just sounds like a crap mom and a really superficial crappy person but try not to dwell on it.

GinNotGym19 · 30/11/2019 12:53

Yabu you don’t know what she claims or what her entitlement is. You only know what you see on fb, most people only post the good parts of their life on fb and it’s not a realistic snap shot.
You want to report her based on jealousy where her benefits could end up suspended for 6 weeks right before Xmas because you’re jealous.
Unfollow her from Facebook and stop worrying about what others get up to.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:54


Perhaps I went a bit over the top with the description but what I meant was it’s not a standard pram from Argos/ mamas & papas type.
It’s huge and has crystal dummies hanging from it.
She has posted several pictures.

Can’t have been cheap.

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 30/11/2019 12:54

Her pram and ted baker stuff are probably on credit. You also have the option to buy on credit if you wished.

You don’t like her, unfollow or delete her on Facebook and then her posts won’t annoy you anymore.

tinierclanger · 30/11/2019 12:55

I don’t post pictures of my kids at farms and stuff on Facebook. Doesn’t mean we don’t have a nice time together Hmm.

beautifulstranger101 · 30/11/2019 12:55

Whilst I agree generally with the principle that its not your business, actually, it IS your business. It is all of our business - tax evasion and benefit fraud like this is the reason the NHS is struggling (yes- along with lots of other factors) but this certainly is putting a drain on public services. Of course its not solely down to her but if we all took the blind eye approach then what other crimes would we let go because its "none of our business"? If she was stealing from Tescos on the regular would that also be not our business? what about if she brazenly stole from an elderly relative with dementia- our business or not our business? how about if she stole a neighbour's car?- our business? The problem is- its hard to make this argument for this one case. However, if every second person in the UK claimed benefits when they weren't really entitled to them and we all knew about it but said nothing, our economy would crash. It would affect all of us so where do you draw the line between "not our business" and actually all of us being affected by public service cuts? So, whilst I think individually, it isn't really your business what she does, on a societal level, it actually is. Ultimately, I would take whatever action gave me peace. If I felt deep down it was the right thing to do then I'd do it. If I didnt feel in my gut I should, then I wouldn't.

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:55


I really am not jealous.

I am showing signs of resentment.

I would report based on it being fraud

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 30/11/2019 12:55

YANBU and I have no idea why people on Mumsnet think this sort of thing is ok.
Maybe screenshot some of her posts.
Why have more kids when the ones she has aren't getting much attention? This I will never understand.

MuthaFunka61 · 30/11/2019 12:56

Do you do realise we all pay taxes?
It's called VAT and is a regressive tax.

mencken · 30/11/2019 12:56

doesn't matter what she spends it on. If you think fraud is being committed, report it. The MN playground 'don't sneak' can be ignored, probably comes from similar fraudsters.

silly cow to get upduffed to this serial breeder, engagement ring or not - I'd give it two years at most before she's on her own again.

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