To be shocked at how many of my (public) school friends are now SAHM

[TrophyCat]

Went to a baby shower last week. The mum to be is an old school friend and there were 8 others from our school there.

We all went to a well known public school, we all have degrees (3 from the bunch went to Oxbridge), and yet 5 of us are stay at home mums, 2 of the women that work don't have dc. So only 1 woman with DC has continued to work.

Most of us had careers before dc, but quit work after marriage and having children.

Interestingly, although a couple of us send our DC to private school absolutely no one has any plans to send their DC away to board ever.

Maybe they didn't go on to further education? Remember the story about the Queen Mother, who didn't see the point in paying for her daughters to be educated, because "none of us had more than a governess, and we all married well - one of us very well." Perhaps they aren't qualified for anything?

Why would anyone work if they don't have to?

Why would anyone work if they don't have to?

Being with my kids all day every day has no appeal whatsoever.

My job is interesting, stimulating and gives me financial security.

Why would anyone work if they don't have to?

Meaning. Purpose. Challenge. Social connection. Learning. Stimulation. Personal growth. Independence. Fun. Satisfaction. The achieving of goals. Making a difference.

Why would anyone work if they don't have to? I take it you don’t enjoy your job? .

I am also very surprised to hear that some people marry very rich people and decide to give up work.

Are you surprised that some people marry a poor person and give up their career.
After first dc was born I knew I wasn't going to continue with my work, we'd discussed it and we have always cut our cloth accordingly.
it's amazing what you'll do when something is important to you.
Either working or not sometimes other things have to be sacrificed or compromised for your ideal life choice.

Meaning. Purpose. Challenge. Social connection. Learning. Stimulation. Personal growth. Independence. Fun. Satisfaction. The achieving of goals. Making a difference.

You can get all this from daily life without paid employment, with or without children.

Good for you if you do, then. Fill your boots. But the fact is most people don't. Without outside pressure and structure they stagnate at best. Cognitive function, mental and physical health all suffer a noticeable drop in retirement in the vast majority of people.

And most people have trouble getting financial independence from daily life, unless they receive a very large inheritance.

And yet I'm still correct😘

Also private school and Oxbridge. Of my close circle of say a dozen female friends from university, all but four of us are married to other Oxbridge graduates with hugely well paid jobs and of the dozen, seven are SAHMs with three/four/five kids. It is because they can afford to live on one (immense) salary. I earn minimum wage and work 830-330 term time due to sensible financial planning from when I had my own well paid job and an inheritance. My other friends from the group are either single and childfree with fabulous jobs of their own or married to “normal” people so they both need to work.

(Am a single parent, DP does not live with me or provide towards my household. DS’ dad has a similar background to me and earns well so I also get a sizeable chunk of maintenance to assist with day to day costs, for full disclosure.)